Donald Marvin Johnson of Martinez, Georgia, is masturbating as he drives his car. Swerving in and out of lanes before finally rear ending a woman at an intersection.

The fact that he rear ended a woman, sounds like the perfect ending to this story.

More at NBC26
He appears confused as to why his picture is being taken.

Angela Magdici, a married, prison guard in Zurich, Switzerland, helps Vasili Magdici, a Syrian refugee in jail for rape, escape. Now they are on the run and headed back to Syria.

If Syria is so bad and he was granted asylum in Switzerland, why the hell would you go back?

More at Daily Mail
He looks like a pleasant guy to be around.

Rachel Niccoll, an NYPD officer who retired because of a "knee injury", regularly competes in triathlons and marathons while collecting her $66,000 tax payer funded pension.

Fraud is now reaching epidemic proportions.

More at NY Daily News
Our tax dollars at work,

David Dolloff of Suffolk, Virginia, calls police to report his home being burglarized. Dolloff and roommate Allison Odom arrested on gun and drug dealing charges.

If you're doing something illegal and are going to call the police to your house, make sure you clean up your own mess first, before you have them come over.

More at WAVY
He needs a shave.

Arrest warrant issued for the menace of East Yorkshire, UK, England. Ian St. Paul, who is banned from every pub in town because of his drunken, boorish behavior. Pisses on a police car and now they want to arrest him. He's had 45 priors!

You know you're a hardcore drinker when every bar in town won't let you spend your money there.

More at Hull Daily Mail
Is that facial hair in the middle of his face up to his eye?

Wednesday's teacher sex scandal courtesy of Catherine Handlin, a female JV basketball coach, at Berean Christian High School in Walnut Creek, Ca. Lewd images and sex with male students.

We have run out of catchy things to say on this subject. WOW!!

More at Contra Costa Times
She looks worn out.

Justin Brown of Lothian, Maryland, arrested for biting off the finger of a woman at Jimmy Johns sandwiches in Annapolis. Police officers say they smelled alcohol on his breath.

This sounds like something that would happen in Florida.

More at Fox32

Rance Peterson, former University of Idaho student, records his threesome with his roommate and a woman in his dorm room without consent. Is charged with voyeurism.

It happened on "wasted Wednesdays". According to the police report, Peterson said, he records every time he has sex to prove it was consensual. I've never heard that one before but in this day and age it's not a bad idea.

More at KLEW
That's a bad do.

Yessenia Zamarippa of Fellsmere, Florida, beats her boyfriend with a belt for not getting his lazy ass out of bed for work. Arrested for domestic violence.

We know who where's the pants in that relationship.

More at NBC 4
Fellsmere Police Department
Battery/Domestic violence arrest:
On 2/3/16, at approximately 7:45 am, FPD officers responded to a residence on Meadows Court to investigate the report of a disturbance.
Upon arrival, officers determined that probable cause existed to arrest Yessenia Zamarippa for battery/domestic violence. The investigation revealed that Zamarippa struck the victim with a belt across the left side of his back because he would not get out of bed and get ready for work.

One more teacher scandal. Michael Sporrer a teacher at Horizon High School, in Phoenix, Arizona, sends 100's of inappropriate text messages to a 15 year old female student.

These teachers sure keep us busy.

Todays teacher sex scandal. Laura Garrigus of Fayetville, North Carolina, a teacher at Cumberland International Early College. Is banned from seeing her own kids by judge after alleged sex with 17 year old student.

What is up with these female teachers?? This one is a married, mother of 3 and her husband is a police officer.

More at My Fox 8
She looks hot.

Diana Burnett, 52, of Lake Worth, Florida, chokes 67 year old boyfriend, after he says no to giving her money to go buy crack

Usually it's the guys who choke the girls.

More at Palm Beach Post

I wonder if they got the ages backwards?

Hot mom, Sonia Gutierez arrested for taking her daughters cell phone as punishment for taking the car without permission. Daughter claims mom choked her and mom gets arrested.

Kids are now the rulers of the house.

More at

Vernon Scott of River Edge, New Jersey, pretends to be his landlord's lawyer in an attempt to avoid being evicted. I can't blame him, being evicted sucks...

Nice idea but lets face it, it would have been a tough ploy to carry out.

More at

Moscow, Russia, woman cuts the rope of a window washer after arguing about her TV antenna. Maksim Merkushev falls 8 stories before safety rope saves his life.

DUMBASSes are found all over the world.

More at
Nerves of steel.

Chamari Liyanage, a Doctor in Australia kills her husband with a hammer after they have a sexual threesome with a teenage girl.

Did she like the teenage girl better?

More at Mirror

Pastor Dukes a Delta based Pastor in Nigeria, sleeps with several teenage girls and then gets 9 women pregnant along with 2 married women. MY GOD!!

Just another day among evangelicals.

More at Nigerian Newspapers

Joshua James of Jupiter, Florida, throws a live alligator through the drive thru window at a Wendy's in Loxahatchee, Florida. Gator is released safely into a canal.

As ususal, Florida takes its time. This happened in October 2015 and they arrest him in February 2016.

More at Miami Herald

Pissed off Comcast customer, throws a brick through the glass front door of a Comcast office in Davie, Florida. I can't blame him. Have you ever tried to cancel your Comcast service? You can't. It's nearly impossible.

In my opinion, Comcast sucks!!

More at Local 10

Over the last decade in Florida, over 260 snakes, monkeys, lions, tigers, bears and other captive animals have escaped their enclosures at zoos, wildlife sanctuaries, and private homes, including pythons and venomous cobras

Only in Florida
More than half of those primate escapes coincidentally occurred in 2008:
Since 2006, Florida Wildlife Commission has investigated at least 45 snake escapes.
Of those, 19 involved Burmese pythons, the single-most reported escaped species over the past decade.
In December 2015, airboat passengers on the St. Johns River spotted a 9-foot green anaconda lying under the State Road 50 bridge near Christmas.  When the invasive snake attempted to escape into the water, an FWC officer shot and killed it. State wildlife officials believe the snake may have been someone’s illegally-owned pet.

More at Click Orlando

Lucas Cornelius of Cambria County, Pennsylvania, is at the hospital to visit his girlfriend and his new baby. He decides to overdose on heroin in a hospital bathroom in Johnstown, PA. Lucky for him he was in a hospital and survived.

Let's hope the baby straightens this new dads life out

More at Penn Live
Straighten up Lucas, you're a dad now.

Bryan Andrew Morejon of Boca Raton, Florida, does not get invited to a BBQ, so he shoots his gun off in the neighborhood where the party is being held. With that behavior, no wonder he was not invited.

I don't know who the DUMBASSes in this case are. Is it Bryan, because he's 24 and acts like a 4 year old? Or is it the Boca Raton, Police Department for arresting Bryan in February 2016, for a shooting that took place in October 2015??   You decide.

More at Fox13
His mustache makes him look like he's frowning.

8 year old in West Palm Beach, Florida, tries to rob King Foods grocery story with a gun. Meanwhile, his mother is at home with no idea her 8 year old has her gun.

When I was a kid, I could not go to the corner without my mom interrogating me. Wow how times have changed.

More at WPBF

DUMBASS, Will Campbell, on probation for a Miami night club shooting, posts a video of himself at a Miami gun range. OOPS!! And away he goes!!

Bye bye Will.

More at Miami Herald
His expression says it all.

Marathon, Florida, man gets so high he can't find his car keys. Falls into the trunk of his car and gets locked in. Police get him out of trunk and give him a ticket for possession of pot.

Always keep your keys in your pocket.

More at Keys Net

Michael Wayne Harrell enters woman's unlocked apartment in Gainesville, Florida, and sucks her fingers at 4:30 in the morning.

Remember to lock your doors before you go to bed.

More at

Mother of the new year Amanda Eggert and her boyfriend Jason Roth, are so drunk, they have her 9 year old daughter drive them home, with an 11 month old strapped in a car seat. All this in Balsam Lake, Wisconsin.

How low or drunk can you be that you authorize your 9 year old to drive your pickup truck?

Deputy Jeff Hahn told the court he was stunned when he realized driver was nine years old and that the couple’s 11-month-old baby was strapped into a car seat.

“As the nine-year-old exited the truck, it was still running and in drive when Mr. Roth was sitting in the truck by himself,” Hahn testified in court. “He turned the ignition off and the truck began rolling backwards down the hill towards the river. I jumped into the truck to hit the brakes and put the truck in park.”
More at Fox 29
It looks like they could use a shower.

This is bizarre!! This is Florida!! 15 year old Tommy Coulter ejaculates in pool and 16 teenage girls end up pregnant because of it. Doctors say he has super sperm.

Dr. John Suzukim of Tallahassee says Tommy has spermafortis.  This kind of semen is fairly similar to that of common water mammals, such as dolphins, manatees and seals and has properties that make it incredibly resistant to water.

More at World News Daily

Dustin McMillan and Jeremy Fulghum arrested after McMillan falls asleep and crashes their mobile crystal meth lab on I-75 at State Route 36 in Lamar County, Georgia.

These 2 caused a traffic backup of 10 miles in both directions during morning rush hour.

More at Fav Meth Head of the day

I thought meth kept you awake.

Thomas Matthew Collodel, of McLean, Virginia, is on a 3 week crime spree and feels the need to log into his twitter account from the Bentley Apartments computer.

This guy is busy ripping off apartments, restaurants, hotels and business's in the Washington, DC area, Yet he has the time to log into his twitter account from the computer at the Concierge desk at the Bentley Luxury Apartments. I wonder if he tweeted??

More at Washington Post
Is this from his Instagram?

Cornell University, Fraternity President, Wolfgang Ballin-ger arrested for alleged rape of a co-ed in frat house bedroom.

I wonder if he plays lacrosse?

More at NY Daily News
Higher education!!

Juan Carlos Gonzalez, Nicholas Rosado and Rebecca Utria try to carjack a car at the Tom Thumb gas station in Hialeah, Florida. Mom protecting her kids throws these losers out of her car like a sack of potatoes.

Watch this mom toss these losers out of her car and then they run like the cowards they are.

More at WSVN
3 stooges staring into a dim future.

Gary Bettencourt, a teacher at Pacheco High School in Los Banos, California and his girlfriend, Devyn Egan, arrested for sex with his students.

This guy even gets his substitute teacher, 22 year old girlfriend, in on the action. What the hell is wrong with the teaching profession. In my opinion, it could be that teachers today, don't get any respect from the parents or the children, don't get paid nearly enough for shaping our future and who the hell wants to deal with the "little angels" of others, who dump their brats at school, the way you would dump your clothes off at the dry cleaner.  Schools are left to hire what is available and since there are so many teacher scandals, that's not a quality pool of people to choose from.

More at NY DailyNews
His girlfriend kind of looks like Mila Kunis.

Tracy Lawrence, is told that her son was disruptive in class at Lakeview Elementary School, in Portsmouth, Virginia. She does what any responsible parent would do. She knocks out the Assistant Principal.

She hits the assistant principal, Sylvia Hodges-Melvin, so hard, she fell down and was knocked out.
She has 3 kids at the school.

More at NY Daily News
What an example she is for the kids.

Brooke Amber Sutton visits the Silver Sands Outlets in Miramar Beach, Florida. She hits the Saks and Ann Taylor stores, steals their merchandise and leave them a puddle of piss and her cell phone.

If you are on a shoplifting binge, you need to keep track of your personal items, or just leave them in the car or at home. And you should use the bathroom first.  According to the story, it sounds as though she would have gotten away with her haul but she left her cell phone at the scene. She also left a puddle of piss in the dressing room. Police call her husband on her phone to track her down.

More at
That's alot of clothes and teeth.

Another DUMBASS, Francisco Ramirez, bites the ass that feeds him. San Diego, District Attorney Investigator bites the ass of a Female Prosecutor while out at the bar.

Another DUMBASS in a position of power. How do these people get these jobs? Does no one else want these jobs? Do these DUMBASSes get these jobs because they just happen to be around?  What we do know, is that sooner or later, they will do something to bring embarrassment to the job and themselves.

More at San Diego Union Tribune
Another overpaid DUMBASS.

Christopher Durkin, in court for a driving under a suspended license charge, tries to sell drugs to another man in traffic court in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Now he has a drug charge to.

This guy is a real hustler. He don't care where he is, in order to make a deal.

More at Fox 59
Is that a scar on his right cheek??

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, bus driver fired for pissing from the steps of his school bus. The kids were still on the bus!!

First Student Canada, was aware of their pissing driver for some time.

More at Infotel

Gilberto Gutierrez tries to carjack a car in Las Vegas, Nevada. One problem. It's a police officers personal car and the off duty officer lights up Gilberto.

Looks like he picked the wrong car this time. He carjacked a car earlier the same day.

More at Review Journal
He looks like a nice guy.

DUMBASSes at the Burger King in Morro Bay, California, get a prank call, telling them to break all the windows because of a gas leak. And they smash the crap out of the place.

These employees get a random phone call telling them to break all the windows and they do it?
No wonder they work in the fast food business and they want a raise to $15 an hour. Have they ever heard of the fire department?

More at San Luis Obispo

Erica Stang of St. Cloud, Minnesota, arrested for drunk driving, while on her way to pick up her sister who is in jail for drunk driving in Stearns County, Minnesota.

This family must love to drink and drive.

More at KNIS
Is this Erica or Eric?

Joel Wright, another religious pervert, arrested in California, for trying to arrange sex with an adopted child in Mexico and film it.

Here's another religious scandal. SURPRISE, SURPRISE, these guys are always incredibly perverted.

More at NY Daily News

Jason Henry Murray, of Bradenton, Florida, punches girlfriend in the face twice and then dumps a bucket of piss all over her clothes.

She must of really pissed him off. By the way, who happens to have a bucket full of piss laying around the house?

More at Bradenton.Com