Police Chief Arrested for DUI in Cop Car, at Noon, After Running Over City Councilman

If you're going to get arrested for drunk driving, why not go all the way, right?

In this case we have Lenden Woodruff, 57 of Colcord, OK who was arrested Sunday just after noon for drunk driving. As it turns out, Mr. Woodruff just happens to be Colcord's police chief AND he was driving his patrol car at the time. So how could it get worse?

Apparently, when Chief Woodruff stopped off at a local convenience store to get some more beer, the store clerk called City Councilor Cody Gibby and asked  him for help keep the cop from driving. When Gibby showed up at the store, he saw Woodruff walking out with a can of beer in his hand.

At that point, Gibby insisted that Woodruff not drive off stating, “You are not driving a city car home while drunk.” Sounds like good advice. But, allegedly, Woodruff didn't listen and not only drove off, but drove into Gibby as well, causing injury to the councilman's legs.

After that, Gibby had not choice to but call on a higher authority--the Oklahoma Highway Patrol--who caught up with the inebriated officers about two miles down the road.

Interestingly enough, this is not Woodruff's first DUI. In 2004, he pleaded guilty to charges of DUI and carrying an open container and was arrested for DUI again in 2008. And Colcord still hired him as their police chief.

According to reports, Woodruff was arraigned on a drunken driving citation in Delaware County District Court and had his bail was set at $2,000. Source: Tulsa World

Found My First Grade Report Card Today

Yup, that pretty much sums up my life.

WI Driver Blames Beer Battered Fish for His Drunk Driving

It never ceases to amaze us how creative drunk drivers can be with their excuses when they get caught.

For example, John Przybyla, 75, of Friendship, WI, who was stopped back on Oct. 12 after a deputy noticed he crossed the center line and also had a broken tail light on his car. At that point, the officer asked Mr. Przybyla if he had been drinking and the driver insisted he hadn't had any alcohol, but had eaten some beer batter fish for dinner. At that point, Przybyla was given a breathalyzer and got a preliminary result of 0.62%, which is below the legal limit.

Unless, of course, you've had 9 previous arrests for DUI (like Mr. P. here) in which case you're not supposed to have a BAC above .02. So, at that point Przybyla was slapped with his 10th DUI charge, along with his third offense operating while revoked. But he does get credit for coming up with the most creative excuse for drunk driving this week. (And for those of you who are wondering, no you can't get drunk or have a BAC from eating beer battered fish. The alcohol cooks out when it's fried, but it is mighty tasty.)

Below, what a mess of beer battered fish might look like, in case you didn't know.

Police: Drunk woman crashes car into boat in Toms River

Unfortunately, drunk drivers run into a lot of things when they get behind the wheel: other cars, people, light posts, and the occasional building. But it's pretty rare that one of them runs into a boat.

In this case in Toms River, NJ, Victoria Ventura, 57, was driving her Hyundai Santa Fe around 5:50 p.m. when she left the roadway jumped over a curb, through a utility pole and crashed into a pontoon boat that just happened to be stored adjacent to the roadway.

Ms. Ventura was not hurt in the accident, but she did blow an impressive blood alcohol concentration of  0.21%, nearly three times the legal limit. Additionally, her destruction of the power pole caused parts of the road to be closed and was linked to some intermittent power outages in town. But mainly it resulted in this cool photo of the wrecked boat.

If she lived in California, Ms. Ventura could probably find a Sacramento DUI defense lawyer to help her out. Not sure about assistance in Toms River, but she should be able to find one.

Drunk Driver Caught by . . . Deer?

We've seen a lot of strange drunk driving stories here at The Dumbass Daily.  People get pulled over by the cops most of the time, but occasionally someone else reports them, and once and a while a child in the car will call 911 to rat out a drunk parent. We've even seen drunks turn themselves into the police from time to time. But never had a deer brought a drunk driver to justice.

Until now.

The sheriff's office in Wayne County, NY near Rochester claims to have picked up a drunk driver after she first hit a deer with her car.

Cops say Candi House, 23, was found when she pulled off to the side of the road after hitting the animal. While pulled over and examining the damage, deputies arrived and they found her to be intoxicated, hopefully after administering a proper DUI test that did not involve identifying road kill by the damage it does to your bumper.

After failing the test, House was then charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation. The officer at the scene only ticketed her, but House will have to appear in court at a later date to answer charges.

No word on how the deer is doing.

Staten Island man 'too drunk' to realize he was shot in buttock

How drunk would you have to be to not realize you had been shot? Pretty drunk, apparently.

Here's more from Staten Island Live:
A 21-year-old man told police he was too drunk to notice that he had been shot in the buttock outside a Port Richmond nightclub over the weekend, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the case. The shooting took place outside the Latin Paradise nightclub at 2032 Richmond Terr. at about 3 a.m. Saturday, according to police. Back on Sept. 13, a drive-by shooting outside the same nightclub left two men injured. The victim in Saturday's incident told police that he heard gunshots as he left the club at 3 a.m., according to the law enforcement source. Roughly 13 hours later, at about 4 p.m., the man discovered a graze wound on his left buttock, the source said. His aunt called 911, and he made his way to Richmond University Medical Center, West Brighton, via private means, where he was treated and released, according to authorities. The man told police he was too drunk at the time to identify the shooters, or even realize he had been shot, the law enforcement source said.
Sorry, no drunk video of this story, but likely we'll hear from this idiot again in the future.

Drunk Teen Found Passed Out on Toilet in Stranger's Home

Not sure what's funnier about this story: the details as reported below by WPTA in Fort Wayne, Indiana, or the reaction in caused on their Facebook page after they reported it.

First, a video clip of the story:

Here are the basics of the story: A Muncie, Indiana couple comes home to find that not only has someone broken into their home, but that person is still there, AND passed out on their toilet with his sweatshirt pulled over his head. So they called police who arrived quickly (probably after they stopped laughing at this 911 call) and arrested Elliott J. Sweazey, 19 of Fort Wayne (likely a student at nearby Ball State University) on a preliminary charge of illegal consumption of an alcoholic beverage.

A brief, funny news story to break up what was otherwise probably a pretty boring newscast, right? But you wouldn't know that from the reaction to the story on WPTA's Facebook page:
From Jenny Dager: You find this news worthy? You should be ashamed. Of all the stories to report you choose to humiliate this young man and his family? Try serving good with all of your free time hatefulness. Make an attempt at some absolution such as unsolved crimes. This is disgusting. 
From Josh Habegger: I think this is stupid to report. I just hope after the public humiliation that they don't ruin his life with an obscene charge like breaking and entering. Kid made a mistake. Nothing new. 
From Jean Graber: To keep consistent with how you report your news, I'm shocked you didn't report what high school he attended. Yeah, ehat high school this 19 year old attended is as irrelevant to this news story as that South Side student getting shot as a result of a drug deal gone bad. Slanted news organization! 
From Kevin Dar McCartney: You guys report on a story like this, but you withhold important information that the Fort Wayne public should really know about like how the public was scammed out of two high academic schools, how the school board withheld their information to the public that we all should of known about, and them making up a bogus matrix to achieve their dirty deed, how FWCS paid off all the judges in this city, why we have a druggie/ drug dealer elected back again on the FWCS SCHOOL BOARD, how our police force fear for their jobs if they do make any arrest about all this and other things around this city.WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!?! What happen to reporting the truth, the real stories! Shame on you! Shame on FORT WAYNE!!!

As Sergeant Hulka in the movie Stripes would say:

Woman Arrested for Drunk Driving Third Time in 2 Weeks After Stealing Dominos Delivery Car

Tara Tobin, 24, of Hyannis, Maine has had a rough couple of weeks. Which seems pretty obvious from the mug shot (right).

Early in November she was arrested for drunk driving. And a few days later, she was arrested AGAIN for drunk driving. And, within two weeks, she was arrested AGAIN for drunk driving, her third such charge in 16 days, according g to Barnstable police.

That in and of itself would put Ms. Tobin in a rare class for DUIs, but there's more. In addition to the drunk driving charges, Tobin also had her license suspended and apparently lost the use of her vehicle after the second arrest. What to do? Why not "borrow" someone else's car? Just to get home, mind you.

So, according to police, Tobin stole a car and was making her way home when officers spotted her. Which was easy because she had stolen a pizza delivery vehicle with a big Domino's sign on the top. (Below, what said car top sign might have looked like)

In an attempt to flee the police, Tobin allegedly crashed the car and fled, but was caught by cops when she hiding behind a bush. In the end, for her efforts Ms. Tobin not only gets her fourth OUI charge in two years, but also larceny of a motor vehicle, leaving the scene of an accident, and operating with a suspended license.

Source: Cape Cod Online

Drunk Man Rides Bike To Taco Bell Drive Thru, Gets Arrested, Ends Up With Saddest Mug Shot Ever

Did anyone else think this was a the picture of a clown when they first saw it? Instead, it turns out to be the saddest mug shot you're likely to see (at least until tomorrow) from a guy who only wanted some tacos.

It all started about 3 a.m  last Sunday morning in New Smyrna Beach, FL when Taco Bell employees refused to serve Gabriel Harris, 33, because he was on a bicycle in the drive-through lane, which is apparently against their rules. (This is a pretty common practice designed to protect the safety of the workers and customers). They called cops who then showed up and asked Harris to leave. In most cases the story would be over at this point, but that's not what happened or we wouldn't have this wonderful mug shot, would we?

As police were trying to get Harris to leave, they saw he had a Swiss Army knife on his belt loop. When the officer went to reach for it, the drunken Mr. Harris allegedly grabbed the officer's wrist. Not a good move.

At that point, Harris was wrestled to the ground, promptly arrested and ended his long night by posing for one of the saddest-looking mug shot on record. Mr. Harris was charged with resisting arrest with violence after he refused to leave a Taco Bell on Sunday morning.

Man Charged With Drunk Driving on . . . a Bulldozer?

If you're going to get drunk and go for a drive, why not do it in something unusual . . . like a bulldozer?

That's exactly what Christopher Russell, 30, of Harrison, New Jersey did over the weekend and he ended up causing quite a bit of damage when he attempted to take the construction vehicle from West Hudson Park to his home in Newark.

According to police, they started receiving reports of the bulldozer being at various locations near the park on Friday night  and when cops finally caught up with the dozer it was in the middle of a street and Russell was climbing out of it. In his wake was a wide path of destruction that included leveled signs, three broken benches, two steel bollards, a tree, a drinking fountain, fencing and construction materials, and it also damaged part of a bridge, and generally tore up grass and left a widing path of tractor tracks.

According to cops, Russell smelled of alcohol and admitted to them that he the bulldozer because "he was cold and wanted to drive it home." Fortunately for him (and unfortunately for the community) the keys were in the vehicle and he was able to just start it up and take off.

Ultimately Mr. Russell was charged with driving while intoxicated, criminal mischief, leaving the scene of an accident and, of course, theft of the bulldozer,