Apr22

Man falls asleep while taking a crap in a Spanaway, Washington, Wal-Mart, with a cigarette in his mouth and sets his underwear on fire.

As the man sat on the toilet, drawers down, he fell asleep, and ash from his cigarette fell between his legs and ignited his underwear, Levings said.  The man slept through all this, Levings added.  “One of our guys actually used a dry chemical extinguisher to put out his pants while they were on him,” Levings said.  That roused the man, who then pulled a knife on the firefighters, Levings said.

More at The Olympian

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Apr22

Drunken, Bryan E. Hewey-Garcia, of Lake Worth, Florida, drives his car through the Fence at Palm Beach International Airport in Florida. Presidents plane, Air Force One is parked nearby and so is the secret service, so he calls in a fake car jacking report.

A suburban Lake Worth man charged with driving drunk appeared to have picked the wrong time to drive his vehicle through a fence near Palm Beach International Airport.

It was early Sunday, and Air Force One was parked on the other side of PBIA, and pretty soon the crash had brought in not just Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies but also the Secret Service, frantically searching for a possible threat to the President of the United States — a threat authorities soon determined didn’t exist, according to a report. Bryan E. Hewey-Garcia, 24, fled the crash site, then called in a fake carjacking, the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s alleges.

More at Palm Beach Post

Brian e Hewey Garcia

Shave!

 

    
Apr22

Miami, Florida, DUMBASS, Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante, thinks he’s a cop so he pulls one over on Interstate 95.

On Friday morning, in what police described as a poor attempt to imitate a police officer, Pacheco-Bustamante set a blue siren atop his cop-like Ford Crown Victoria and turned it on. He was signaling for the SUV in front of him to pull over.  Before the dark green, 2000 Crown Victoria Pacheco-Bustamante was driving was towed, cops checked its interior for evidence. Wedged against the blue siren between the console and driver’s seat was an H&K plastic BB gun.

More at Miami Herald

marcos pacheco Bustamante

That name is a mouthful.