Grandma Tries to Get Girl, 8, Drunk So She Can Go Party - Joanne DeLoach

Wow, just wow. "Grandmother of the Year" finalist? Joanne DeLoach, 47, of Bloomington, Minnesota may already have won with this effort. Here's more from the KARE-11:

Friday night was Joe Ann DeLoach's 47th birthday. But it was also her night to baby-sit her 8-year-old grand daughter.
So instead of staying home with the girl at the Bloomington apartment where they live, police say DeLoach devised a plan that would allow her to leave the girl home and go out.
"As she had said, she went out to 'celebrate her birthday and to get her drink on,'" said Bloomington Police Commander Jim Ryan.
DeLoach did that, say police, after she forced her granddaughter to do the same, hoping the girl would pass out so she could leave. Police say DeLoach made the third grader drink two glasses of gin, diluting them with water when the girl complained of the taste.
"The child is watching cartoons and the Grandma is feeding her glasses of gin to drink to the point where she then passed out," Ryan said.
But not before she vomited, hit her head on the kitchen table, and struck the left side of her face.
Nine hours after the girl's first drink police say her blood alcohol level was still at .04, half the legal driving limit. DeLoach denies she gave the girl booze, claiming her granddaughter must have snuck the liquor herself.
"There's no way she would have reached that high level just by taking a couple of sips out of the bottle," Ryan said.
Police say the bottle of gin was empty when they arrived at 10 p.m. Friday, alerted by an anonymous caller. By that time, the girl's mother was home from a 12 hour shift, but DeLoach didn't come back until Saturday morning.

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Dumbass College Students Tell World They Have Pot for Sale Out Dorm Room Window in Front of Cops

Ah, college! Where some go on to bigger and better things, while others you wonder how they ever were admitted in the first place. Take these two geniuses at Northeastern University who decided it would be easier to sell their weed it they announced it to people walking by outside their dorm room. Idiots! Here's more from Fox News:

A pair of former Northeastern University freshmen are facing drug and other charges after prosecutors said one of them leaned out his dorm window on Sunday and loudly told a woman in the dorm opposite his that he and his roommate were selling pot.
Two plain clothes Boston officers in the building overheard the conversation, made their way up to a second floor dorm room where they arrested Michael Emery, 18, of Haverhill and Matthew Ferrante, 18, of North Andover after finding about four ounces of marijuana, drug paraphernalia, including a scale, and several bottles of alcohol in the room, the Suffolk district attorney's office said.
"If you're looking for weed, my roommate Ferrante has some for sale," Emery allegedly said out the window, according to the district attorney's office.
The students were arraigned in Roxbury District Court on Tuesday on charges of possession of a class D substance with intent to distribute in a school zone, possession of alcohol by a minor, and conspiracy to violate the state's drug laws. The intent to distribute charge carries a maximum of two years in jail.

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"Father of the Year" Contender Leaves Toddler inHot Car to Visit Nevada Brothel - Lucien Hoffman

Wow! As the year winds down the candidates for "Father of the Year" here at Dumbass Daily really come on strong. Like Lucien Hoffman of Oregon who decided to attend a barbeque event at the World Famous Mustang Ranch brothel in Sparks, Nev. but forgot something important in the car. Here's more from Fox News:

An Oregon rugby player remains in jail Tuesday after being arrested on charges he left his 2-year-old daughter in a vehicle in the parking lot of a Nevada brothel on a 95-degree day.

Lucien Hoffman, of Bend, Ore., is being held in the Storey County Detention Center in lieu of $40,000 bail on charges of child neglect.

Police arrested Hoffman early Sunday night at the World Famous Mustang Ranch brothel in Sparks, Nev., after a security guard found the child crying inside the car, according to Storey County Sheriff's Det./Sgt. Kenneth Quirk.

Hoffman, a wing for Bend Rugby who goes by the nicknames Luke and "Torpedo," had been attending a pool party and barbecue at the brothel, a co-sponsor of a Labor Day weekend rugby tournament in Reno organized by the Reno Zephyrs Rugby Club.

A handful of Bend Rugby team members had driven to the brothel party in a camper van, according to the club's president, Matt Burke. Neither coaching staff nor team captains attended the event, he said.

"We won the tournament, so I think half of the people in the club got in their cars and started driving home and a few went to the after-tournament function to receive the trophy," said Burke, who did not attend the Nevada tournament.

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High School Teacher Arrested for Sending Sexually Explicit Messages to Girls, 15 & 16 - Steven Maffucci

It's a new school year, but the teachers remain as hot for the students as ever. Case in point: a Florida high school teacher who got a little too close to some of his students--allegedly. Here's more from WPTV:

The billboard outside the Treasure Coast High School still says "Welcome back Titans," but parents were shocked to learn one of the teachers here, 30 year old Steven Maffucci is behind bars, accused of sending inappropriate computer messages to female students.

Parent Cindy Ullmann says, "You're supposed to drop off your kids in the morning feeling they're safe and they're getting the education, and here you have someone doing what's very wrong."

School board officials say they found out about the allegations Tuesday afternoon, and acted to remove Maffucci from the classroom.

Spokesperson Janice Karst says, "Anytime there's that serious of an allegation from a student, the school district did move very quickly cooperated fully with law enforcement."

Police reports show Maffucci sent explicit MySpace and and text messages to the girls, between the ages of fifteen and sixteen years old. Even before the criminal charges were filed, the school board had decided to terminate Maffucci.

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Drunk Mom Arrested for Letting Five-Year-Old Drive, Tells Cops "He's a Good Driver." - Holly Schnobrich

Drunk parents letting kids drive . . . is there anything stranger than that? Take this Indiana woman who was so drunk, she letter her TODDLER drive. Not a young teen or a tween, but a kid barely old enough to go to school . . . and he already has a bad driving record. Here's more from WLFI:

A mother is in jail after having her young child drive the car when she was impaired. This, just four days after she was put on probation for operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

Wendy Barrett said Saturday night she was outside her home in Lafayette's Saddlebrook subdivision, when a car came to a screeching halt in front of her house. She said she went up to the car, and found a 5-year-old behind the wheel, a 3-year old in the back seat, and a woman, later identified as Holly Schnobrich, 24, in the passenger seat.

Barrett said Schnobrich was in a seatbelt, but the two toddlers were not restrained. When Barrett asked if the child was driving, Schnobrich replied, "Yeah, he's a good driver." Barrett said Schnobrich appeared very impaired.

Barrett got the help of her neighbors. They called 9-1-1, shut off the car, took the keys, and got the kids out of the vehicle.

For the complete police report on this bizarre incident, check out TheSmokingGun.com.

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