Lunch Lady Arrested for DUI, Cops Find Bong and Weed in Car - Laurie Kovarie, 51

Working with other people's kids has to be the hardest job in the world. Bad enough if you're a teacher, but how would you like to be a cafeteria worker (aka "the Lunch Lady") and get verbally abused on a daily basis for the rotten food you are forced to serve? It might be enough to turn you to drink, or pot . . . or both. Apparently, that's what might have happened to Laurie Kovarie, 51, of Rangeley, Maine when cops arrived after she reportedly rear-ended a family in their mini-van. But it wouldn't be a Dumbass Daily story if it just ended there, would it? Here's more from the Sun Journal:

Police officer Jared Austin said Tuesday that Kovarie's car struck the back of a minivan driven by Arsenio Mestre, 45, a family doctor from Orlando, Fla., as the two vehicles were traveling down Dallas Hill Road toward the intersection with Route 4. When Austin arrived, he said, he was met by both parties.

It appears she came down the hill and "creamed" the rear end of the minivan as both vehicles were still moving, Austin said. The officer said Mestre told him he believed Kovarie was intoxicated because he could smell alcohol on her.

Austin said he then interviewed Kovarie, whom the officer said works in the cafeteria at Rangeley Lakes Regional School, and asked her several times for her insurance card, but she didn't give it to him. He also smelled alcohol on Kovarie, he said, and asked her how many drinks she had.

Kovarie said she had three drinks, according to the officer. He told her they were going to do a field sobriety test, and they could either do it on the slippery Dallas Hill or go to the police station. She said she wasn't going to do it, he said, and walked back to her car. Austin said he gave her the option two more times and she still refused.

He went back to his cruiser, he said, and he saw Kovarie get out of her car and start walking away. He yelled to her to stop but she kept going, he added, and he had to run after her. "I told her, 'you're not free to go,'" Austin said.

He grabbed her arm and put her under arrest, he said, and then she ripped her arm away. "I had to forcibly put handcuffs on her," Austin said.

When he went back to search the car, he said, he found the insurance card on the passenger seat. He also found a bong full of unburned marijuana on the floor near the gas pedal, Austin said.