Michigan Man Arrested for Receiving Sexual Favors From Car Wash Vacuum

Not a lot of details on this story . . . but do you really need many? Or pictures, for that matter? The mental image will be one you'll have in your head long enough. Reminds me of that old saying: "I was sad because I had no girlfriend, until I met a man who didn't have correct change." Words to live by!
Here's the basic story from Yahoo News:

Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash. The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit. Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act. The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

12-Year-Old Arrested for Hitting Pregnant Teacher With Sticks & Stones

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" A tiny, teary-eyed 6th grade apparently learned that nursery rhyme, but forgot the part where you're NOT supposed to throw things at your teacher . . . especially one who is pregnant and only trying to keep you from leaving school grounds without permission. At right, the tiny mug shot of Jason Lord. But enough of that, here's more from WFTV:

The boy stands just four feet tall and weighs just 54 pounds, but apparently the little 12-year-old has a big temper. He was arrested for viciously attacking his pregnant school counselor and is now facing two felony charges, battery on a pregnant female and battery on a school official.

The 12-year-old started running away from his teachers and was about to jump the fence when the counselors tried to stop him and that's when he got mad. "Next time, it's not going to be a pleasant visit! You go to school to learn!" a Palm Bay officer told Jason Lord as he got into a squad car.Lord was arrested for throwing sticks and rocks at a pregnant counselor and then hitting a second counselor.

"They tried to get him under control and threw sticks and one, who was pregnant, the other one he was kicking several times and put bruises on her legs," explained Officer Dan Fisher, Palm Bay Police Department. Sixth graders at Christa McAuliffe Elementary School were playing soccer during PE class when one student said Lord did not want to participate, so he was scolded by another teacher.

"He just stated walking, like pouting. All the teachers started walking with him. Finally, he goes and jumps the fence and starts running," student Eric Barroso told Eyewitness News. A couple of counselors tried to prevent Lord from leaving school and that's when he got violent. According to the arrest affidavit, Lord screamed at school officials, "B****, I'm going to kill you and him" and he was "flipping 'the bird' at them."

Police said the child did not show any emotion until he was taken away in a police car. "We were driving away from the school and he started begging, 'Let me have a second chance,'" Fisher explained. "I said, 'You had your second chance.'"

Mom Fires Shotgun at Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend; Police Taser Her After She Kicks Out Cop Car Window

Now THAT'S what we call hard core . . . as if you couldn't tell by the looks of Anthonia Montairo Catoire-Miller, 33, of Madisonville, Louisianna. Ms. Catorie-Miller faces charges of attempted second degree murder, simple criminal damage to property, resisting an officer, taking contraband to and from a penal institution, and two contempt of court warrants. The last couple seem to indicate she MAY have been slightly familiar with the legal system in this country prior to the latest incident which, in the very least, puts her in the running for our "Mother of the Year" competition. We'll let WWL tell the rest of the story to you:

Investigators say 33-year-old Anthonia Montairo Catoire-Miller of #7 Hester St., Madisonville was driving a minivan with three of her teenage children Monday afternoon near the intersection of Kathmann and Hester streets off Hwy. 22

According to police, Catoire-Miller spotted her daughter's ex-boyfriend standing nearby with a group of friends. After driving a short distance away from the group, police say that the woman stopped her vehicle and backed up, and pointed the barrel of a .410 shotgun out of the driver's side window and fired one shot in his direction. Although the victim was 15 - 20 feet from the vehicle, he was not hit, according to a Sheriff's Department spokesman.

Investigators say Catoire-Miller then parked her vehicle in a nearby driveway and walked a short distance with her children to her pending residence at 70 Oak Park Drive. Deputies responding to a 911 call say they found an extremely combative Catoire-Miller in her Oak Park Dr. residence. After being handcuffed and placed in the rear of a patrol car, officers say she used her legs to kick out one of the unit's rear windows. Deputies say they were finally able to subdue Catoire-Miller after using a taser.

Due to her combative state, deputies say they were unable to determine a motive for the shooting. Investigators say the shotgun was retrieved from the Oak Park Dr. house. During processing at the jail, officials say a second live shotgun shell was found in Catoire-Miller�s brassiere.

Couple Caught Having Sex in Police Station Parking Lot

To misquote Dean Wormer from Animal House, "Fat, drunk and naked in a police station parking lot is no way to go through life, son!" Here's more from the UPI:

Police in Hellertown, Pa., said a couple caught having sex in the police station parking lot told officers they did not realize where they had parked. Officers said the driver, Dennis Conor Cullen, was charged with drunken driving but neither he nor his female passenger, who was not named, were charged with anything related to their parking lot love making, The (Allentown, Pa.) Morning Call reported Thursday. Police said Cullen, 23, and the woman admitted to drinking earlier in the evening at a Lehigh University function but Cullen refused to submit a blood sample.

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School Resource Officer, 42, Fired for Pulling Girl, 13, Out of Class, Declaring His Love for Her

Apparently this school has run out of teachers for the students to have relationships with, so now their turning to the inhouse cops, er, "resource officers." In this case we have a 42-year-old former teacher, turned school cop, who admitted that he pulled a 13-year-old girl out of class, took her to an office and told her that he loved her. Of course, being a normal teenager, she promptly freaked out and told a guidance counselor who told the principal. Here's more from TampaBay.com:

Christopher Magavero, 42, a Pasco sheriff's deputy since 2000, admitted making the statement, said Sheriff's Office spokesman Doug Tobin. Sheriff Bob White then fired him, citing conduct unbecoming an officer.

Magavero, who has been at River Ridge Middle since late 2004, pulled the girl out of class Wednesday and took her to an administrative assistant's office, where they were alone, Tobin said. Sitting across a desk from her, he told the girl his feelings.

The Sheriff's Office is conducting a criminal investigation to make sure nothing physical occurred between Magavero and the girl.

"We have no evidence that anything physical took place, no evidence that a crime occurred at this point," Tobin said. "But the deputy certainly committed an incredible error in judgment."

Babysitter Arrested After Toddler Shoots 8-Year-Old

That headline pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Don't let strangers watch your kids . . . especially strangers who either own handguns or just leave them lying around where a 2-year-old can get a hold of them. Why shoot an 8-year-old? Why not? Who would you like to have shot when you were two if you got your hands on a gun? Think about it!
The details are sketchy on the story (the toddler refuses to talk until his mob lawyer can cut a deal with the DA) but needless to say, you're not likely to find another headline like this.

Until at least next week. Hey, this is Florida, we're surpised this doesn't happen every day! At right, the mug shot of the arrested babysitter, Trevaris Brown.

Here's more from the Miami Herald:

Trevaris Brown, 18, charged with child neglect, is free on $7,500 bond. According to police, Brown told Miami Detective Fernando Bosch that he was baby sitting a group of children ranging from 1 to 10 years old Saturday night at 5930 NW First Ave. He admitted ``he left the children home alone and went to the store.'' While away, a 2-year-old got a hold of a gun and shot the girl. She is expected to make a full recovery, police said. It was unclear who the gun belonged to.

Texas HS Squad Causes Stir After Mock Execution During Pep Rally

How Well Armed Do You Like Your HS Cheerleaders? - Like most schools across the country, Nacogdoches High is both Drug Free and Gun Free as a sign outside the building proudly boasts . . . unless, of course, you're a cheerleader then those kinds of "little details" get thrown out the window. Take, for instance, a recent pep rally at NHS and a skit designed to fire up the fans put on by the cheerleaders. The premise was simple enough (and oft repeated at HS pep rallies across the USA): the school mascot is kidnapped by students of the rival school (played by your JV cheerleaders, of course) and held of ransom. Your varsity cheerleaders ride in to the rescue and free the mascot, assuring that your team will march to victory at Friday night's big game. Oh, we forgot to mention: after freeing the mascot you then force the "kidnappers" to kneel in front of you, pull out your guns and shoot them in the head. After their deaths you throw money into the air (WTF?) and put their corpses in a pile so you dance on their graves! (Tony Soprano would be so proud! Go Fighting Mobsters!) 

We think it may be that last little part that is causing the stir at Nacogdoches HS, although so far no one has been suspended and the administration does not seem to be overly concerned about its young ladies performing mob hits on their rivals. According to NHS principal Nathan "Deadeye" Chaddick, " . . . this was just a simple skit done by our cheerleaders just to promote some school spirit and motivate the football team at a pep rally ... they were doing like a little country, cowboy-type skit." He goes on to compare this friendly teen sports carnage to classic theatre adding, "What do they want us to do with Shakespeare when kids have swords stabbing each other or plays with some shooting? It's the same thing. It's the same little skit. But because these three girls have a personal thing going on against some cheerleaders, they feel they have a right to use this venue for their personal agenda or purpose, and I'm just not going to allow that." The "they" Chadwick is referring to are two students who wrote an editorial in the school newspaper titled "Fearleaders" that was--surprise!--critical of the skit. Chaddick, of course, got to edit the copy and eliminated three whole paragraphs that just happened questioned the administration's support for the skit. (An unedited version of the editorial is supposed to be posted to the Daily Sentinel on Sunday, but their Opinion page is currently on loading correctly. If it did, you might be able to read it here.) 
Now, we don't think these cheerleaders should be kicked out of school or nothin', but we do have to question the decision-making skills of old Deadeye and anyone else at NHS who may have approved this skit beforehand or is not the least bit concerned about it now. (Daily Sentinel) 

Male Teacher Caught Leering at Schoolgirls While Using Homemade Electrical Sex Toy in Car

Yes, you read that headline correct. Who ever said that all those "shop classes" wouldn't pay off some day, eh?
The good news? It didn't happen in the United States, although this might, uh, "inspire" some of our fine male teachers here to take up the challenge and invent their own homemade electrical sex toys. That's the kind of "can do" spirit this country is known for.
Let's see if we have the details correct: Guy Milford has taught in Clydebank area schools (Scotland) for more than 10 years. Police found him in his car near Clydebank High as hew watched (they use the term leered) as students walked into school. So far, he's just annoying. Then police say they also found a “bizarre” electrical sex toy plugged into his car’s cigarette lighter. And to top things off Milford had his pants down around his hips and his hands on his lap and, okay, I don't need to draw you a picture, do I?
Here's more from the Clydebank Post:

Married dad, Guy Milford — who had worked in schools in the area for 10 years — had the “bizarre” electrical sex toy plugged into his car’s cigarette lighter as he watched pupils going into Clydebank High.

The weirdo 34-year-old was due to be working at Clydemuir Primary, in Dalmuir, on the day of the sickening incident. Cops rumbled Milford near the high school gates at around 8.30am as pupils arrived for classes. Milford later told Dumbarton Sheriff Court he was on his way to work, but the high school is more than a mile away from Clydemuir and he would have had to have taken a significant detour to be there.

Cops were stunned when they discovered the vibrating device on the teacher’s lap as he sat in his clapped out Volkswagon Polo. WPC Alana Innes, 24, a police officer for four years, told Dumbarton Sheriff Court on Friday: “I had never dealt with anything like this before and I was quite shocked. I could not believe it had happened right next to a high school.”
Arresting officer PC Christopher Holmes said: “The car was [initially] directly across the road from the school gates, no more than twenty yards from the entrance.

"When I went to speak to him I could see he was nervous because he was shaking and there were beads of sweat on his forehead.

“He was in the driver’s seat with both hands on his lap, which was unusual, but more unusual was I could see lots of red and green wires poking through his hand and the device was attached to the cigarette lighter.

“His trousers had been pulled down around his hips.”

Milford admitted he had used the device earlier on his journey, whilst driving through the Clyde Tunnel, but insisted he had not been using it outside the school.

Say What? Teacher at School for the Deaf Accused of Having Sex With Boy, 15 - Julie Denno, American School for the Deaf

Now that's what some people might call a "hands on" education.
Up until recently, Julie Denno, 27, was a teacher at the American School for the Deaf in West Hartford, CT. That is, until the adminstration found evidence that she was engaging in a relationship that included "inappropriate physical contact" and sexually charged text messages with a 15-year-old boy over a period of several months. Of course, that lead to her dismissal and then the cops got involved. At right, the only photo of Julie Denno we could find. Yeah, we know it sucks. If you find a better one, let us know.
Here's more from the Bristol Press:

A former teacher at the American School for the Deaf in West Hartford was charged Friday morning with sexually assaulting a student in the woman's former North Pond Street home, police said.
Denno was arrested on a warrant and turned herself into authorities Friday morning, where she was initially held on $75,000 bail. Judge Bernard D. Gaffney lowered that amount to $5,000 later in the day.
Police said the assault happened over a two-month period in Denno's former home.
They were made aware of her behavior in February, when the boy's mother contacted police about Denno's alleged conduct, which took place between December 2007 and January 2008.
It also wasn't clear Friday how long Denno was employed at the school or what her daily responsibilities were, but an administrator there said Denno was suspended without pay and subsequently fired months ago as the investigation unfolded.
"When we became aware of the situation, we cooperated fully with authorities, and the teacher was suspended without pay and ultimately fired in a very timely fashion," said Marilyn Rettig, the school's director of institutional advancement.
Police spokesman Lt. Edward Spyros said officials have no indication that Denno engaged in similar behavior with other juveniles.

Teacher Accused of Assaulting 10-Year-Old Girl by Putting Bucket on Her Head?

Teachers are caught doing a lot of strange things these days to student, many of which have nothing to do with sleeping with them. Take, for example, the case of Ann Lavery, a fifth grade teacher at Richford Elementary school in Vermont. She, apparently, had a misbehaving student in her class so she did what most teachers would do: she put a plastic bucket on the students head, and then hit the top of it. Yes, I thought it was kind of strange myself, but then again I don't have my teaching certificate. Here's more from Fox 44:

Vermont State Police said a mother told them Ann Lavery injured her daughter twice. Lavery a Fifth grade teacher, is accused of grabbing a 10 year old girl by the back of the neck and hurting her. The girl's mother told police it happened because the girl was in an area of the school where she was not supposed to be.
Lavery is also said to have put a plastic bucket on the same students head, and then hit the top of it. The girl reportedly was injured and her glasses damaged. Lavery, 54 has been a teacher for 32 years. Police say there have been other complaints made about Lavery.
"She has had prior complaints, and she was dealt with through the school on that and we are also looking into one other complaint that we have on her," said Sgt. Roger Langevin of the Vermont State Police.

Man Fined for Driving Drunk on Motorized Cooler

Have you seen one of these things? Looks like a regular cooler, except for the massive wheels, engine and steering wheel. Not sure how much booze they actually hold, but apparently it was enough to get this guy wasted. Here's more from Fox 44:

A North Country man has been fined almost $400 for driving a motorized cooler while drunk. Leslie Marr of Whitehall pleaded guilty this week to driving while ability impaired, a non-criminal violation. Marr was arrested in May for being drunk while driving a "Cruzin Cooler," which has handlebars and a seat on top for the operator. Marr was arrested after police saw him swerving while riding the cooler on a sidewalk. He was fined $300 and directed to pay an $80 surcharge.

Third Grade Teacher Arrested for Sex With Underage Boy - Alyson Perri-Jarvis, Southern Oaks Elementary School

Wow, gotta love that mug shot, don't you? The picture at right is of Alyson Perri-Jarvis, a third grade teacher at Southern Oaks Elementary School in Florida, who is accused of having a sexual relationship with a teen aged boy, starting when he was 15. The good news? According to the school district, Perri-Jarvis will NOT--we repeat NOT--be paid while she is in jail. Relieved, aren't you? The name of the now 18-year-old victim has not been revealed, but we do hear from sources that he is having his vision checked. Here's more from TBO.com:

Detectives say Jarvis, a third-grade teacher at Southern Oaks Elementary School, met the teen through neighborhood and family connections in 2005, when he was 15 years old. The teen, now 18, and Jarvis started a sexual relationship in July 2006 until August of this year, detectives said.
The teen, whose name was not released by authorities, told detectives about the relationship between him and Jarvis on Friday, the sheriff's office said. Jarvis is not being paid while she is in jail, Pinellas County School District spokeswoman Andrea Zahn said. If Jarvis posts bail, she will be placed on paid leave while the district conducts its own investigation, Zahn said.

Female Teacher, 41, Accused of Having Sex With Two Students at Home and School - Ranee Sue Proper

This week's female teacher banging (allegedly) underage students at her school comes to us from little Holly, Michigan, just up the road a ways from Detroit and not too far away from the Dumbass Daily corporate offices. At right, the only picture we could find of Ranee Sue Proper, 41, who used to be the vocal music teacher at Holly High School . . . that is, until she was arrested this week on five counts of third-degree criminal sexual conduct for allegedly having sex with two students both in her home and at the school. Here's more from the Flint Journal:

After months of whispers in this small town about a teacher allegedly having sex with students in the high school, a former Holly High School vocal music teacher was arraigned Tuesday on felony sex charges.
A police investigation began after a parent brought the allegations to police in May. Proper, a teacher in the Holly School District for four years, resigned June 25.
"The theatre and music kids, a lot of them will be devastated by this," said drama teacher Joe Mishler, who worked with Proper. "The last part of the school year was tough on the kids. She was someone they trusted and believed in."

Drunk Woman Drives Through Fence at Tampa Airport, Ends Up on Runway

That must have been one hell of a party! How drunk do you have to be to not only drive TO the airport, but through a six foot tall fence and then onto the airport runaway. So much for the power of Homeland Security! Here's more from Tampa Bay Online:

Kathy Lee Wilcox of 6810 Maple Lane, Tampa, drove her 2000 Hyundai through a 6-foot fence at the entrance to Vandenberg Airport this afternoon, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.
According to a statement from the sheriff's office: Witnesses said she drove up to the airport's closed gate on Eureka Springs Road, stopped her car and then drove through the fence, which is marked "No Trespassing." The fence also has a large stop sign posted near it.
Wilcox then drove onto the runway. Airport authorities boxed her vehicle in on the runway and called the sheriff's office. Sheriff's office aviation and canine units are housed at Vandenberg Airport. Deputies arrested Wilcox, charging her with driving under the influence involving property damage.

Teacher Caught Moonlighting as Prostitute, School District Still Deciding What to Do!

That sounds pretty shocking until you find out this happened in New Zealand where prostitution has been legal since 2003, so this mother in her 30s with two children, was only working as a hooker to, uh, supplement her income, according to the district which will have to decide what happens next. Here's more from Stuff:

An Auckland primary school teacher moonlighting as a prostitute will have to wait for a decision on her future employment by her school's board of trustees. The new teacher, a mother in her 30s with two children, has been working as a prostitute to supplement her income, the Herald on Sunday reported.
The newspaper, which did not name the teacher or her school, said a parent told the teacher's principal, who was balancing a possible negative reaction from parents with the woman's right to work in a job that has been legal in New Zealand since 2003.
It has been referred to the school's board of trustees, which will meet in committee to debate whether to ignore the issue, discipline the teacher or ask the Teachers' Council to decide. The woman reportedly told the principal that her action in her own time was not his concern, and that it was not affecting her ability as a teacher.
Teachers Council director Peter Lind said the most important factor was whether the teacher's second job was affecting her teaching duties, "and there would have to be actual evidence".