Tax Preparer Arrested for Evading Taxes on Tax Day!

How taxing! I suppose they wanted to wait until he was done sending everyone else's tax returns in. Let's just hope that he didn't cheat on those as well. Here's more from KMPH:

A criminal investigation by the IRS has resulted in the arrest of 65-year-old Arthur Burnett Lawson of Bakersfield. Lawson, was a registered tax preparer, who specified in tax preparation, financial consulting and audit representation at his Bakersfield business, "Income Tax, etc." He was arrested on a warrant stemming from a four-count tax evasion indictment returned by a federal grand jury in Fresno earlier this month.
According to prosecutors, Lawson allegedly prepared and signed false and fraudulent U.S. income tax returns for himself and his wife between 2002-03. Attorney's say Lawson stated that his taxable income was $0 and reported no tax due and owing. On his wife's taxes Lawson claimed her income to be $0, and said she was entitled to the Earned Income Credit, which is a federal income tax credit for low income working individuals and families. IRS officials say that Lawson knew he and his wife's taxable income was more then he reported. They believe he may have evaded paying around $60,000 in federal income taxes overall.

Video: Texas Man Arrested for Drunk Driving on Steamroller

Why steal a $180,000 piece of construction equipment to drive home from the bar? According to this story, because this drunk was cold. That's it. Too cold to walk home. The real bonus here is that the cops have dashcam video of the arrest, which you might not believe if you didn't see it! The actual incident happened October, but cops are just getting around to releasing the video. Here's more from My Fox Austin (watch the video here):

A patrol officer spotted the road roller at four in the morning, driving down Immanuel Street. "The vehicle was actually weaving. There were no flagmen, no lights on it. It was dark and it was a dangerous situation," Asst. Chief Jim McLean said. The officer put on his lights, and pulled the driver the equipment over.

The driver-- 32 year old Ronald Howell-- told the officer he was walking from Players Night Club and Tuffs Tavern. He took the Dynapac Vibrator Roller from a construction site at F.M. 1825, and started driving it home. "The officer smelled alcohol on his person," McLean said.

Howell was given a series of sobriety tests, which police say he failed. He was arrested for DWI, driving with an invalid license and felony theft, for stealing the roller valued at $180,000.

NutJob Calls 911 21 Times for Free Rides!

This is why medical care in the United States is getting so expensive. You have nutjobs like this guy calling 911 to not only get a ride TO the hospital, but then he calls again to get a ride HOME! Here's the full story from Real Time News:

A Union City man was arrested last week for calling emergency operators 24 times to get rides to and from the hospital to avoid paying cab fare, according to a report in the Jersey Journal.

Union City police said Wilfredo Valdes, 69, called 911 21 times early Friday morning asking for police to drive him to the hospital, the report said. After being treated at the Hoboken University Medical Center, authorities said Valdes continued to call 911 asking for a ride home because he did not want to pay for a taxi, the report said. The report said police asked him to stop calling the emergency line, but Valdes refused and was arrested for creating a false public alarm.

Billy Mays Orders at the Drive Thru

Not sure why, but this made me laugh this morning. "But wait, there's more!"

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Source: Obama's New Family Dog Failed to Pay Taxes

The elation of the First Family about their new dog, Bo, may be short lived as tax problems may derail yet another appointee of the new administration.

The Dumbass Daily has learned exclusively that Bo, reportedly from a prominent East Coast Portuguese water dog family, may also made a mistake on his Federal Income taxes. "The tax laws are really complicated! Just look at what happened to Tom Delay and Charlie Rangel . . . and I'm a dog, for Christ's sake," howled the beleaguered First Dog-elect, who has to go through what is now expected to be a tougher than expected Senate confirmation hearing.

According to sources, Bo's in the dog house for failing to report as income the free puppy food he's received from a lobbying group for the National Kennel Association. Bo says it was an honest mistake and blames the mistake on his accountant . . . and the fact that he accidentally ate all of his own receipts. During the Sunday morning talk shows, Republicans in Congress pounced on what they called Waterdog-Gate and asked Bo to step aside for the sake of the country. Others called on the President to name a special prosecutor/animal control officer to investigate Bo. There was even a hint from a Beltway insider that Bo's family may also be involved in some kind of Ponzi scheme, after his father--a stud at a Maryland puppy mill--claimed more than 600 dependants when he filed last year.

White House spokesman Robert "Not This Crap Again?" Gibbs expressed confidence that the matter could be cleared up quickly and thought that it would not derail Bo's chances of becoming First Dog, a position that has been open since the Bush's dog Liberty quietly ran off with a French Poodle after the November election.

Kids: Don't Put Stripper Poles in Your Dorm Room

Of all the things you would think college administrators would have to worry about today: rising costs, shrinking budgets, stripper poles in the dorm rooms . . . wait, what? That's right: at one university, the student housing department did a quick inspection of empty dorm rooms over Spring Break and found at least one room that had a stripper pole . . . permanently bolted into the floor and ceiling. Here's more from Kent State News:

A residence hall director found a stripper pole bolted to the ceiling and floor of a dorm room over winter break. Edward Moisio Jr., fire safety coordinator at Kent State, said 99 percent of students who have illegal items in their rooms offer the typical excuse: "We didn't know we weren't allowed to have that."Residence assistants and Kent State's Fire Safety Division frequently find other, more common violations in the residence halls - stripper poles are unusual."I haven't really read the handbook," said Mark Feldman, junior political science major. He suspects that's the case among other students, too. Carrie Circosta, assistant residence hall director of Beall and McDowell Halls, confirms it. She said one of the main reasons students don't know what is and isn't illegal in the residence hall is because they don't read the handbook or just don't care.

Teacher's Aide Accused of Sex With Middle School Boy

This is our second story in a week about a fairy young teacher (okay, in this case a "teacher's aide") having some kind of inappropriate relationship with a kid in junior high. No age is given for the boy, but that's usually 7th, 8th, & 9th grade, isn't it, making him, what, around 14? Strange, very strange.

According to cops she was caught when--surprise!--the boy's mother found pictures of the teacher in her underwear on the boy's cell phone.

At right, the mug shot pictures of the accused, Lauren Breslin. Here's more from Press of Atlantic City:

A Vineland teacher’s aide and former champion high school swimmer allegedly kissed a male middle school student and sent him sexually suggestive pictures of her, according to police. Police arrested Lauren Breslin, 23, of Vineland, early Friday morning and charged her with endangering the welfare of a child. The boy’s mother found three sexually suggestive photos of the woman on her son’s phone and contacted Vineland Police on Thursday, according to police. Police say the boy told them he and Breslin kissed on the lips multiple times during school hours. The photos on the boy’s cell phone allegedly show Breslin wearing lingerie.
Investigators seized the phone as evidence and are awaiting a search warrant to proceed in their investigation. Their investigation remains ongoing, and more charges could be brought, Vineland Police Capt. Rudy Beu said Friday.

Student Teacher Arrested for Sex Middle Schooler

Wow! Both the teachers AND the students keep getting younger in these cases. This time it was a 23-year-old student teacher and a boy in 8th grade. My favorite line from the article? "According to Superintendent Braden Hirsch, Massaro was in charge of schooling eighth-grade students on a myriad of subjects." Apparently so.

Here's more from WPIX:

A student teacher at an elementary school in Frankford has been arrested and charged with having sexual relations with a young student, authorities said Thursday. Lindsay Massaro, 23, a student at Centenary College in Hackettstown, reportedly struck up a week-long romance with the Frankford Elementary school student, which apparently began on March 21 and ended this past Saturday.

Massaro is accused of committing "acts of sexual penetration and sexual contact with the intimate parts of a minor male," according to information provided by the Sussex County Prosecutor's office. According to Superintendent Braden Hirsch, Massaro was in charge of schooling eighth-grade students on a myriad of subjects. Officials say she was working toward getting her state teaching certificate in special education.

Massaro was arrested Monday following a probe by police, but it is not clear if police tracked her down at the elementary school, which serves student grades K-8.

Parents Arrested After Boys, 7 & 8, Show Up at School Stoned - Cleveland Elementary School

The things that our schools have to put up with these days that we could NEVER have imagined happening 20 years ago. For example: elementary school kids showing up to school high after smoking pot. Here's more from MSNBC:

Officers arrested a central New York couple because their 7- and 8-year-old sons showed up at school stoned on marijuana, police said. Officials at Cleveland Elementary School notified authorities about the possible drug use last week.

On Wednesday, state police charged 33-year-old James Tyson and 34-year-old Christina Miczek of Bernhards Bay with endangering the welfare of a child. The misdemeanor is punishable by up to a year in jail.

The boys smoked the marijuana after finding it at their home, police said. Troopers also charged a 15-year-old who made a smoking device for the boys. Troopers didn't release his name because of his age.

Anal Retentive Burglars Kept List of Everything They Stole; Cops Appreciate the Help

From our "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time" Files, comes the story from Surprise, Arizona of a couple who had a very organized burglary ring, to the point that they kept ledgers of what they stole and from where, making it much easier for the cops to nail them. Why not just shoot some video next time, dumbass?

Here's more from Your West Valley:

A Surprise couple arrested last week kept a ledger of homes they broke into and
items they stole during a string of burglaries in the Surprise area, police said Sunday.

The pair suspected in the crime spree - Travis Anderson, 27, and Gina Dunn, 34 - were arrested at approximately 1 p.m. Friday at their home in the 7300 block of North 185th Drive, police said. The major break in the case occurred when a burglary victim called police to let them know he believed he had seen his stolen golf clubs at the "Play It Again Sports" store located in Surprise.

When police arrived at the store, an officer recognized several other sets of golf clubs that were reported stolen from homes in his beat. The subsequent investigation led detectives to the home of Anderson and Dunn where they served a search warrant. Detectives discovered several sets of golf clubs, flat screen televisions and numerous other items that appeared to have been stolen, police said.

Detectives said they also found ledgers and notebooks kept by Anderson where he logged the addresses of homes he had burglarized and items he had taken, including a list stating whether the homes were occupied. Detectives found numerous real-estate open house fliers in Anderson's home. The fliers included hand-written notes on them regarding electronic equipment and appliances that were in the homes up for sale.

Principal Accused of Making Boy Zap Himself With "Shocker Pen"

Want to bring a fake pen to school at Beaver Ridge Elementary School that gives off a mild, but not dangerous electrical shock? If you get caught with it, be prepared to have the principal turn it on yourself. And then, shortly thereafter, the parents and administration will turn on her. Good thing she didn't catch him with a bear trap! FYI: it's not the first time this principal has used some questionable disciplinary techniques: 10 years ago she allegedly took a kid who was biting other students and held him down while the other kids bit him back.

Here's more from the AJC:

A Gwinnett County elementary school principal is under fire for ordering a student to shock himself with a pen he carried to school that emits a low current.

Esther Adames-Jimenez, principal of Beaver Ridge Elementary School, apparently wanted to teach the student a lesson. So when the boy was summoned into her office to face discipline consequences for bringing the toy to class, she asked the student to turn the pen on himself. The student was not injured.

“Her actions reflect poor judgment,” said Sloan Roach, a spokeswoman for Gwinnett County Public Schools. “It clearly violates our discipline procedures.” This is not the first time the principal has come under scrutiny for discipline allegations.

In 1999, she was placed on paid administrative leave from East Boston Early Education Center amid allegations that she disciplined a 4-year-old who bit classmates by holding that student down so his victims could bite him back. Adames-Jimenez was reinstated without disciplinary action. However, the mother of the disciplined student filed a civil lawsuit against Adames-Jimenez and the school. The case later was settled for an undisclosed sum.

Female Teacher Jennifer Lynne McCalla Accused of Sex With Boy

Now the Canadian teachers are getting into the act! What next, someone from the UK? Here's more from Canada.com:

A 33-year-old female high school teacher has been charged with sexual assault
and sexual exploitation by Ottawa police. Police said an investigation began in early February into allegations of inappropriate touching by a teacher in the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board of a male student. The alleged assault occurred in late January.

Jennifer Lynne McCalla, a teacher at Brookfield High School, was to appear in court Tuesday. Sharlene Hunter, a spokeswoman for the board, said McCalla has been
on "home assignment" since early February when the police investigation began.