Tax Preparer Arrested for Evading Taxes on Tax Day!

How taxing! I suppose they wanted to wait until he was done sending everyone else's tax returns in. Let's just hope that he didn't cheat on those as well. Here's more from KMPH:

A criminal investigation by the IRS has resulted in the arrest of 65-year-old Arthur Burnett Lawson of Bakersfield. Lawson, was a registered tax preparer, who specified in tax preparation, financial consulting and audit representation at his Bakersfield business, "Income Tax, etc." He was arrested on a warrant stemming from a four-count tax evasion indictment returned by a federal grand jury in Fresno earlier this month.
According to prosecutors, Lawson allegedly prepared and signed false and fraudulent U.S. income tax returns for himself and his wife between 2002-03. Attorney's say Lawson stated that his taxable income was $0 and reported no tax due and owing. On his wife's taxes Lawson claimed her income to be $0, and said she was entitled to the Earned Income Credit, which is a federal income tax credit for low income working individuals and families. IRS officials say that Lawson knew he and his wife's taxable income was more then he reported. They believe he may have evaded paying around $60,000 in federal income taxes overall.

Video: Texas Man Arrested for Drunk Driving on Steamroller

Why steal a $180,000 piece of construction equipment to drive home from the bar? According to this story, because this drunk was cold. That's it. Too cold to walk home. The real bonus here is that the cops have dashcam video of the arrest, which you might not believe if you didn't see it! The actual incident happened October, but cops are just getting around to releasing the video. Here's more from My Fox Austin (watch the video here):

A patrol officer spotted the road roller at four in the morning, driving down Immanuel Street. "The vehicle was actually weaving. There were no flagmen, no lights on it. It was dark and it was a dangerous situation," Asst. Chief Jim McLean said. The officer put on his lights, and pulled the driver the equipment over.

The driver-- 32 year old Ronald Howell-- told the officer he was walking from Players Night Club and Tuffs Tavern. He took the Dynapac Vibrator Roller from a construction site at F.M. 1825, and started driving it home. "The officer smelled alcohol on his person," McLean said.

Howell was given a series of sobriety tests, which police say he failed. He was arrested for DWI, driving with an invalid license and felony theft, for stealing the roller valued at $180,000.

NutJob Calls 911 21 Times for Free Rides!

This is why medical care in the United States is getting so expensive. You have nutjobs like this guy calling 911 to not only get a ride TO the hospital, but then he calls again to get a ride HOME! Here's the full story from Real Time News:

A Union City man was arrested last week for calling emergency operators 24 times to get rides to and from the hospital to avoid paying cab fare, according to a report in the Jersey Journal.

Union City police said Wilfredo Valdes, 69, called 911 21 times early Friday morning asking for police to drive him to the hospital, the report said. After being treated at the Hoboken University Medical Center, authorities said Valdes continued to call 911 asking for a ride home because he did not want to pay for a taxi, the report said. The report said police asked him to stop calling the emergency line, but Valdes refused and was arrested for creating a false public alarm.

Billy Mays Orders at the Drive Thru

Not sure why, but this made me laugh this morning. "But wait, there's more!"

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Source: Obama's New Family Dog Failed to Pay Taxes

The elation of the First Family about their new dog, Bo, may be short lived as tax problems may derail yet another appointee of the new administration.

The Dumbass Daily has learned exclusively that Bo, reportedly from a prominent East Coast Portuguese water dog family, may also made a mistake on his Federal Income taxes. "The tax laws are really complicated! Just look at what happened to Tom Delay and Charlie Rangel . . . and I'm a dog, for Christ's sake," howled the beleaguered First Dog-elect, who has to go through what is now expected to be a tougher than expected Senate confirmation hearing.

According to sources, Bo's in the dog house for failing to report as income the free puppy food he's received from a lobbying group for the National Kennel Association. Bo says it was an honest mistake and blames the mistake on his accountant . . . and the fact that he accidentally ate all of his own receipts. During the Sunday morning talk shows, Republicans in Congress pounced on what they called Waterdog-Gate and asked Bo to step aside for the sake of the country. Others called on the President to name a special prosecutor/animal control officer to investigate Bo. There was even a hint from a Beltway insider that Bo's family may also be involved in some kind of Ponzi scheme, after his father--a stud at a Maryland puppy mill--claimed more than 600 dependants when he filed last year.

White House spokesman Robert "Not This Crap Again?" Gibbs expressed confidence that the matter could be cleared up quickly and thought that it would not derail Bo's chances of becoming First Dog, a position that has been open since the Bush's dog Liberty quietly ran off with a French Poodle after the November election.

Kids: Don't Put Stripper Poles in Your Dorm Room

Of all the things you would think college administrators would have to worry about today: rising costs, shrinking budgets, stripper poles in the dorm rooms . . . wait, what? That's right: at one university, the student housing department did a quick inspection of empty dorm rooms over Spring Break and found at least one room that had a stripper pole . . . permanently bolted into the floor and ceiling. Here's more from Kent State News:

A residence hall director found a stripper pole bolted to the ceiling and floor of a dorm room over winter break. Edward Moisio Jr., fire safety coordinator at Kent State, said 99 percent of students who have illegal items in their rooms offer the typical excuse: "We didn't know we weren't allowed to have that."Residence assistants and Kent State's Fire Safety Division frequently find other, more common violations in the residence halls - stripper poles are unusual."I haven't really read the handbook," said Mark Feldman, junior political science major. He suspects that's the case among other students, too. Carrie Circosta, assistant residence hall director of Beall and McDowell Halls, confirms it. She said one of the main reasons students don't know what is and isn't illegal in the residence hall is because they don't read the handbook or just don't care.

Teacher's Aide Accused of Sex With Middle School Boy

This is our second story in a week about a fairy young teacher (okay, in this case a "teacher's aide") having some kind of inappropriate relationship with a kid in junior high. No age is given for the boy, but that's usually 7th, 8th, & 9th grade, isn't it, making him, what, around 14? Strange, very strange.

According to cops she was caught when--surprise!--the boy's mother found pictures of the teacher in her underwear on the boy's cell phone.

At right, the mug shot pictures of the accused, Lauren Breslin. Here's more from Press of Atlantic City:

A Vineland teacher’s aide and former champion high school swimmer allegedly kissed a male middle school student and sent him sexually suggestive pictures of her, according to police. Police arrested Lauren Breslin, 23, of Vineland, early Friday morning and charged her with endangering the welfare of a child. The boy’s mother found three sexually suggestive photos of the woman on her son’s phone and contacted Vineland Police on Thursday, according to police. Police say the boy told them he and Breslin kissed on the lips multiple times during school hours. The photos on the boy’s cell phone allegedly show Breslin wearing lingerie.
Investigators seized the phone as evidence and are awaiting a search warrant to proceed in their investigation. Their investigation remains ongoing, and more charges could be brought, Vineland Police Capt. Rudy Beu said Friday.