Married Michigan Mayor Caught Having Sex on Sidewalk With Another Woman

A Republican Commissioner and Novi, Michigan Mayor pro tem Kim Capello claims it was all innocent and that he was just walking a woman home from a bar . . . at 2 am . . . when things got a little frisky. In itself, not problem if you can find a room. Pretty soon though, cops responded to a report of indecent exposure and eventually found an unclothed man (allegedly Capello) and woman--not his wife--having what passed for drunken sex against a wall. When confronted by officers, the couple admitted they had been drinking . . . which might explain the public sex.

In addition to his public service, Capello is also a practicing attorney and shares an office (or maybe "shared an office") with his wife of 21 years. Capello was arraigned on an indecent exposure charge, which could result in 93 days in jail.

Police: Official, Woman Had Sex On Walk [Click on Detroit]

Thanks to reader mecaswell for the link!

Mom Calls Cops When 12-Year-Old Won't Do Chores

Not a lot to this story, just a couple of lines from the police blotter in the Sun News:

DISPUTE: A mother phoned police because she was having trouble getting her 12-year-old son to do his chores. The two got into an argument and that's when she phoned police. She said she didn't know how to handle the situation. Police gave her options for obtaining assistance with family problems.

I saw this at the very bottom of a long list of other stupid police calls (including a rock thrown through the window of a house by a child who used to live in the how who was pissed about having to move) and it made me thing: What kind of mom calls the cops when her kid won't do his chores? Maybe if he had refused to do the chores and punched her in the face, maybe, but just because he wouldn't do them? Sounds more like a call to Dr. Laura or Dr. Phil, but the cops? The best part is the cops didn't laugh this off but instead gave her information about getting some help elsewhere. Gotta give the police some props for that.

If you have any suggestions for getting your kids to do their chores (other than calling for police back-up) please post them in the comments below.

Breaking News and More [Sun News]

Female Teacher, 27, Accused of Relationship With Boy, 14

Blah, blah, blah. Anyone who's been to this site before knows the routine. Married female teacher with two small kids gives our her cell phone number to an underage boy. He texts her, she texts him and then things get naughtier. Naughty MySpace messages ensure and then they meet up at school. But that's where this story swerves from the usual: instead of heading to her house or his parent's basement, this duo--allegedly--went to a janitor's closet at school and started making out. (How romantic! Watch out for the bucket of vomit covering sawdust, honey!) According to cops, that's exactly what teacher Stephanie Jo Walters, who formerly taught at Musselman Middle School , is accused of doing.

The police report says the "victim" told them that Walters allegedly approached him during lunch and they went to a janitor’s closet where they kissed and she allowed him to touch her breasts, but not beneath her shirt. (Thank God!) Not surprisingly, Walters has been placed on administrative leave by the county school district. At right, Stephanie Jo Walters mug shot picture. (Thanks to reader Sandy S. for the link! If you come across a great dumbass story, email us at dumbassdaily at gmail.com!)

Teacher accused of relationship with student, 14 [Herald-Mail]

Woman Arrested for DUI With Baby on Board

She probably would have gotten away with it, except for the fact that when she got out of the car at the CVS pharmacy, beer cans fell out of the car. The good news? The kid wasn't hers, just a relative.

The Hennepin County Attorney’s Office charged Leana Luvean Riddley, 49, of second-degree refusal to submit to chemical testing and third-degree driving while under in the influence for the May 1 incident. According to the criminal complaint, witnesses say they saw Riddley get out of her car at a CVS Pharmacy at 3655 Central Ave. NE. with a baby. As she opened the door, beer cans fell out and police were notified.

Police say Riddley admitted to drinking and driving. The child, who is Riddley’s niece, was unharmed.

Mpls. woman faces charges for driving drunk with baby [KSTP-TV]

Prom Night Drunk Driver is Actually Limo Driver

Hey kids! Here's a tip from your Uncle Bob: if you insist on drinking when you go to your high school prom (and we don't recommend that you do) at least have the brains to hire a limo driver so you won't get . . . wait a minute, you DID hire a limo driver and now HE'S been arrested for DUI? The only option you have at that point is to have your parents drive you.

Good luck getting to third base with mom in the front seat!

A limousine company has fired the driver who was arrested Friday night in Lowell for allegedly drunk driving while ferrying local high school students around on their prom night. Lynette's Limousine Company said yesterday it had dismissed Brian Harrison, 45, of Tewksbury, who had worked for the company for three years, and had no previous problems.

The company said it is deeply shocked, troubled, and embarrassed by the exercise of poor judgment by Harrison. He was arrested after one of seven students from Lowell Catholic High School called her parents to report that Harrison seemed intoxicated when he came to pick them up at a movie theater Friday evening.

The students’ parents took them home.

Limo driver fired after alleged drunken driving incident [Boston Globe]

Couple Arrested for Having Sex on Queen Elizabeth's Lawn

Okay, so maybe you don't have all the perks of the British Royal Family, but at least you don't have drunks having sex on your lawn . . . or do you? Here's more from WFIE:

A man and woman have a lot of explaining to do after being arrested Sunday afternoon outside Britain's Windsor castle. It wasn't for trying to breach security but for being a bit too playful.

Queen Elizabeth II was at the castle, the sentries were on duty, and the large park surrounding the magnificent building was full of tourists. So it didn't take long for people to realize that something was quite unusual.

Witnesses said an inebriated couple arrived from a nearby restaurant and began having sex on a grass bank outside the castle. One witness told the Sun newspaper they didn't care who was looking and "just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom." Japanese tourists even filmed the couple.

Police said the two were arrested and given a written warning about outraging public decency.

Tax Preparer Arrested for Evading Taxes on Tax Day!

How taxing! I suppose they wanted to wait until he was done sending everyone else's tax returns in. Let's just hope that he didn't cheat on those as well. Here's more from KMPH:

A criminal investigation by the IRS has resulted in the arrest of 65-year-old Arthur Burnett Lawson of Bakersfield. Lawson, was a registered tax preparer, who specified in tax preparation, financial consulting and audit representation at his Bakersfield business, "Income Tax, etc." He was arrested on a warrant stemming from a four-count tax evasion indictment returned by a federal grand jury in Fresno earlier this month.
According to prosecutors, Lawson allegedly prepared and signed false and fraudulent U.S. income tax returns for himself and his wife between 2002-03. Attorney's say Lawson stated that his taxable income was $0 and reported no tax due and owing. On his wife's taxes Lawson claimed her income to be $0, and said she was entitled to the Earned Income Credit, which is a federal income tax credit for low income working individuals and families. IRS officials say that Lawson knew he and his wife's taxable income was more then he reported. They believe he may have evaded paying around $60,000 in federal income taxes overall.

Video: Texas Man Arrested for Drunk Driving on Steamroller

Why steal a $180,000 piece of construction equipment to drive home from the bar? According to this story, because this drunk was cold. That's it. Too cold to walk home. The real bonus here is that the cops have dashcam video of the arrest, which you might not believe if you didn't see it! The actual incident happened October, but cops are just getting around to releasing the video. Here's more from My Fox Austin (watch the video here):

A patrol officer spotted the road roller at four in the morning, driving down Immanuel Street. "The vehicle was actually weaving. There were no flagmen, no lights on it. It was dark and it was a dangerous situation," Asst. Chief Jim McLean said. The officer put on his lights, and pulled the driver the equipment over.

The driver-- 32 year old Ronald Howell-- told the officer he was walking from Players Night Club and Tuffs Tavern. He took the Dynapac Vibrator Roller from a construction site at F.M. 1825, and started driving it home. "The officer smelled alcohol on his person," McLean said.

Howell was given a series of sobriety tests, which police say he failed. He was arrested for DWI, driving with an invalid license and felony theft, for stealing the roller valued at $180,000.

NutJob Calls 911 21 Times for Free Rides!

This is why medical care in the United States is getting so expensive. You have nutjobs like this guy calling 911 to not only get a ride TO the hospital, but then he calls again to get a ride HOME! Here's the full story from Real Time News:

A Union City man was arrested last week for calling emergency operators 24 times to get rides to and from the hospital to avoid paying cab fare, according to a report in the Jersey Journal.

Union City police said Wilfredo Valdes, 69, called 911 21 times early Friday morning asking for police to drive him to the hospital, the report said. After being treated at the Hoboken University Medical Center, authorities said Valdes continued to call 911 asking for a ride home because he did not want to pay for a taxi, the report said. The report said police asked him to stop calling the emergency line, but Valdes refused and was arrested for creating a false public alarm.

Billy Mays Orders at the Drive Thru

Not sure why, but this made me laugh this morning. "But wait, there's more!"

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Source: Obama's New Family Dog Failed to Pay Taxes

The elation of the First Family about their new dog, Bo, may be short lived as tax problems may derail yet another appointee of the new administration.

The Dumbass Daily has learned exclusively that Bo, reportedly from a prominent East Coast Portuguese water dog family, may also made a mistake on his Federal Income taxes. "The tax laws are really complicated! Just look at what happened to Tom Delay and Charlie Rangel . . . and I'm a dog, for Christ's sake," howled the beleaguered First Dog-elect, who has to go through what is now expected to be a tougher than expected Senate confirmation hearing.

According to sources, Bo's in the dog house for failing to report as income the free puppy food he's received from a lobbying group for the National Kennel Association. Bo says it was an honest mistake and blames the mistake on his accountant . . . and the fact that he accidentally ate all of his own receipts. During the Sunday morning talk shows, Republicans in Congress pounced on what they called Waterdog-Gate and asked Bo to step aside for the sake of the country. Others called on the President to name a special prosecutor/animal control officer to investigate Bo. There was even a hint from a Beltway insider that Bo's family may also be involved in some kind of Ponzi scheme, after his father--a stud at a Maryland puppy mill--claimed more than 600 dependants when he filed last year.

White House spokesman Robert "Not This Crap Again?" Gibbs expressed confidence that the matter could be cleared up quickly and thought that it would not derail Bo's chances of becoming First Dog, a position that has been open since the Bush's dog Liberty quietly ran off with a French Poodle after the November election.