Tuesday, August 25, 2009

How to Update Your Facebook Profile Pic After You Break Up With Your Girlfriend

Not sure whether to admire this kid or feel sorry for the guy.

At least he has a sense of humor and seems to know how to piss off his ex.


SOURCE: OnFW3.png (PNG Image, 778x957 pixels) - Scaled (73%)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Female Teacher, 32, Admits to Sex With Male Student, 14

Regular teachers have the summer off, but apparently summer camp art teachers are picking up the slack. But at least, this time, the pair are "in love."
E-mails and messages police said were sent between a summer camp art teacher and a 14-year-old boy have been discovered and are filled with sexual conversation. Police said the e-mails are between Melanie Fonseca and a camper at the Boys and Girls Club summer camp where she worked. Fonseca was arrested Wednesday and charged with sexually abusing the teen. The boy's mother said she discovered an e-mail from her son's friend telling him not to have sex with his teacher, and that's when she confronted her son.

The teen reportedly told his mother he was in love with his 32-year-old art teacher and that the pair had kissed on several occasions and she had performed oral sex on him in the laundry room of a Kissimmee apartment complex.  "To some it may be crazy and insane because of our age difference, but it doesn't matter to me," one e-mail from Fonseca to the teen reads. "It's not infatuation or obsession, it's love. Real, true, pure love. If anyone ever found out I'm sure I'd be accused of so much wrongdoing, of having done so much wrong to you in making you follow my every lead, but we both know that is not the case."
Cops: Teacher Sent Student Love E-Mail - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Man Doesn't Understand How Automatic Door Works

Can't tell what country this takes place in, but word is this genius is an engineering student. Let's hope he's an art history major after seeing this.

Man Arrested for DUI on Golf Cart Blows BAC Four Times Legal Limit

I suppose if you're going to get drunk and drive down the street blocking traffic on a golf cart, you might as well go all the way, right? But four times the legal limit of .08%? That's some drinking! Most people are passed out at that point and some are dead . . . but not this guy for Gary, Indiana.
John P. O'Hara took his golf cart for a sping down a Gary, Ind., street and could have possibly gone unnoticed were it not for a truck that wanted to pass but was blocked.  Gary police Cpl. Gabrielle King said an officer flipped on his siren and followed the 23-year-old man and his three passengers, who reportedly tossed some red plastic cups from their cart before pulling over.

The smell of alcohol and bloodshot eyes also caught the officer's attention.  O'Hara admitted to police he had a little to drink, "maybe a 12-pack." Turned out to be perhaps more than a little. He blew a .289 on a breathalyzer test, nearly four times the legal limit of .08 percent blood alcohol in Indiana.
No Mulligan for Golf Cart Drunk Driver | NBC Chicago

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Honolulu Cops Caught Smoking Weed in Van During Police Softball Tournament in Las Vegas

And to make matters worse, they tried to run away from park police when they were caught. Don't these cops ever watch COPS? They'd know you always get caught when you run away. Just man up and claim you were using it for medical purposes only . . . to smooth out your swing.
Authorities say two Honolulu police officers tried to elude park police but were arrested on marijuana charges during a weekend softball tournament in Las Vegas. Clark County spokeswoman Stacey Welling said Monday that 37-year-old Kevin Fujioka and 47-year-old Shayne Souza were arrested Saturday night near Desert Breeze Park, about six miles west of the Las Vegas Strip. Welling says 38-year-old Scott Wilson of Honolulu was also arrested.

Welling says park police approached the men in a white van because it was parked sideways across two spots in the park's parking lot. Welling says that as officers approached, the van drove off. She says that after a short car chase, Fujioka and Souza tried to elude authorities on foot.
Honolulu Cops Try to Run Away; Arrested on Drug Charges | KGMB9 News

Mom Caught Having Sex in Public Library With Stranger

Public libraries are offering all kinds of new services these days to attract customers. Not sure if this one will catch on . . .
Sure there's books about anatomy in the library - but one Connecticut mom apparently wanted to do more than just peruse the literature - and instead put those lessons to good use. Carla Levesque, 34, was busted for having sex with an unidentified man in the restroom of the Rockville Public Library in Vernon Thursday morning. The pair was allegedly caught getting it on when another mom brought her own 4-year-old daughter to the bathroom. The man managed to flee the scene before police arrived, but authorities say they have a good idea of who they are looking for.

Levesque has two children - ages 6 and 9 - and had apparently been staying at a homeless shelter in Rockville. She was charged with risk of injury to a minor, public indecency and disorderly conduct.
Cops: Mom Busted for Having Sex in Library - WPIX

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Cop Arrested for Freeing His Willie at Public Beach

How difficult is it guys: when you're at home you can let the little guy hang out all you want, but once you're out in public, you gotta keep him in the house or they'll throw you in the Big House. Anyone else been "surprised" like this at a public beach or state park? Comments below.
A Santa Barbara police officer has been arrested after authorities say he exposed himself to two teenage girls at a state beach. The Sheriff's Department says 33-year-old Brian Sawicki was off-duty when two girls pointed him out to a park ranger at the Refugio Beach campground Monday afternoon. The girls say they were on a trail when they noticed a man walking behind him and later saw him lying down exposed. He was chased by the ranger and arrested for investigation of indecent exposure, resisting a peace officer and annoying or molesting a child
Santa Barbara cop arrested for indecent exposure - San Jose Mercury News

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Don't Steal Stuff From Your Neighbors and Then Have a Yard Sale

Rules for Dumbasses #614: If you're gonna rob your neighbors of their stuff, don't set it out on your lawn two days later for a garage sale! Like this lady in Severn, Maryland who came across some strangely familiar items at a yard sale a few doors down from where she lived:
Officers responded to the woman's house last week in the 800 block of Reece Road. The woman, whose name wasn't released, told Anne Arundel County police that her home and shed had been burglarized and that a "significant amount" of property had been stolen.

Two days later, she noticed the yard sale taking place just a few houses away and observed that items being sold had been stolen from her during the burglary, police said. Detectives obtained a search warrant and recovered about $25,000 worth of the victim's property, which was returned to her.
Police: Woman Finds Her Stolen Items At Yard Sale - Baltimore News Story - WBAL Baltimore

Con Man Wants $100 for Oven Door Disguised 37-Inch Flat Screen TV

Think you're gonna get a great deal on a big screen TV from some guy driving a 1980 Cutlass in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Then you get what you deserve, dumbass!
On Wednesday San Leandro police pulled over a man who had in his car a box containing what appeared to be an expensive 37-inch flat-screen television, but in actuality was a glass oven door cleverly disguised as a TV. The man is suspected of trying to sell the item for $100 in the parking lot of the San Lorenzo Wal-Mart, 15555 Hesperian Blvd.

"It was very ingenious," Ballew said. "If you were a bargain hunter, you might think, 'Wow, this is the deal of the day.'" Police got an anonymous call Wednesday from someone who raised suspicions about a man who tried to sell him a television out of his beige 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass in the Wal-Mart parking lot. The witness said the seller told him he had bought the TV for $60 at a flea market.

Later, Sgt. Luis Torres stopped the Cutlass after spotting it driving through San Leandro. The driver, Anthony Myles, 52, of Richmond, was arrested for driving on a suspended license. No charges were filed against Myles' passenger, a 53-year-old man.

The television in question was in the back of the car wrapped in packaging material. It had installation instructions on the back, a Best Buy price sticker for $1,949 and accompanying electric cables. Police confiscated the item, but no charges were filed in relation to its attempted sale.
37-inch flat screen TV for $100 is really an oven door - San Jose Mercury News

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Worst. Hidden Camera. Ever.

You'll never think of the Comic Book Guy on "The Simpsons" the same again!
A 43-year-old man is facing charges after customers allegedly discovered a hidden camera in his Vaughan business. According to York regional police, a man and woman went to Dragon's Realm on Wednesday, located at 9661 Jane St. The business bills itself as a comics, toys and collectables store. 

"The female victim requested to use the washroom and was followed by the owner of the business who entered an adjoining room," police said Thursday in a news release. "The man felt this was suspicious behaviour and went to the washroom himself to investigate. He discovered a camera set up on a tri-pod, hidden on the other side of the washroom."

The two confronted the owner and contacted York police, who arrested the man without incident. Officers were seen removing a computer from the premises. Domenic Giorgio of Bolton will face one charge of voyeurism and two counts of assault.
CTV Toronto - Alleged hidden camera leads to voyeurism charge - CTV News, Shows and Sports -- Canadian Television

"Father of the Year" Brings Five-Year-Old to Dog Fight

Did your dad ever take you to a dog fight? Mine neither. Bastard! Think of all the fun--and emotional trauma--I missed out on.
Authorities say seven people have been arrested following a dog fight in Hopkins Park. Cook County Sheriff's Police say the fight was in progress Saturday evening when the arrests -- which were part of a two-month investigation -- were made. Those arrested face charges including felony dog fighting and obstruction. One man also faces charges for allegedly bringing a five-year-old to the fight.
Cook County police arrest 7 in dog fight -- chicagotribune.com

Female Special Ed Teacher Accused of Getting Boy, 14, Drunk, Having Special Sex With Him

This lady might go to jail, but when she gets out, do you think she'll get work endorsing Royal Crown? Yeah, probably not. I also find it interesting in the story that the victim can't remember whether he had sex with the teacher five or ten times. That's a pretty big difference, especially for a teenaged boy. Something smells fishy here, doesn't it?

A Plano special education teacher has been arrested on a charge of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy after she allegedly got him drunk and had sex with him several times at her home. The teacher, Mariane Kieffer, 39, also faces a charge of an improper relationship between an educator and student. The alleged victim, who said he attended Carpenter, told Plano police last week that he started going to Kieffer's house around last February, according to a probable cause affidavit. A month later, he said, Kieffer asked to have sex after they got drunk drinking Crown Royal in her son's bedroom.

Until June, the boy said Kieffer occasionally drove him to her house after school and had sex between five and 10 times, the affidavit states.
Plano special education teacher accused of sexually assaulting 14-year-old student | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Plano News

Monday, August 10, 2009

Why You Shouldn't "Friend" Your Boss on Facebook

Here's a good lesson for you young people out there: your boss is NOT your friend, on Facebook or off Facebook. Case in point below:



6zjNO.jpg (JPEG Image, 463x293 pixels)

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Drunk Driver Tries to Swim Away From Cops, Fails

Nobody every said you had to be smart to drive drunk, but most people don't try to make a run for it . . . or swim or it . . . to avoid arrest. I like the fact that the cops didn't have their own boat to go after this guy and had to borrow someone else's to nab this drunk driver.
Police in Benzie County say after driving drunk, a man tried to swim away from them. Just after 8:30 last night, an officer tried to pull the man over on M-22 near Maple Street in Frankfort, but he just kept going. After about five miles, police say the driver abandoned his car and ran into Crystal Lake, where he started swimming into deep water. Police borrowed a neighbor's boat and went after him.
9&10 News: Frankfort Police: Drunk Driver Tries to Swim Away

Man Arrested for DUI After Beer Run on Riding Lawnmower

So, you lose your driver's license and really need some more beer and lottery tickets, but the closest store is too far to walk (or maybe stagger). So what do you do? Hop on your 2007 Cub Cadet riding lawnmower, that's what! Espcially if you are Dennis D. Cretton, 49, of Belleville, IL.
When deputies Jason Robertson and Lee Graham, and Investigator Scott Toth arrived, Cretton was returning home from the Conoco gas station about half a mile away on Centerville Avenue and had made it to the corner of Dianne and Fenwood drives, close to home, police said. They turned on their lights and tried to pull Cretton over, but he kept going, police said, veering off the roadway and heading into his front yard.

When he veered, however, a 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best Ice tumbled from his mower, Chief Investigator Capt. Steve Johnson said. Toth asked Cretton what he was doing, and Cretton admitted driving the lawnmower to the gas station for lottery tickets and beer, Johnson said.
Lawnmower driver on beer run charged with DUI; tried to pass cars on his Cub Cadet - From the online desk - Belleville News-Democrat

Man Arrested for Barking at Michigan Police Dog

Woof! Not sure who's the bigger dumbass here: this dude for tormenting a police dog or the cops for arresting him without tasering him first?
Authorities said a man has been arrested in for barking at a police dog. The Three Rivers Police Department said officers responded Monday evening to an apartment complex to investigate a suspicious situation. Police said Wednesday in a statement a 26-year-old man in the area "began to torment" a police dog inside the patrol car by barking and shouting at it, causing the animal to become excited and "very aggressive." The man was arrested and later released on bond. He faces a charge of disorderly conduct
The Associated Press: Man arrested for barking at Michigan police dog

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Drunk Mom Maces Daughters Who Wouldn't Let Her Drive

Kids these days! They won't let you have ANY fun. So sometimes you have no choice but to mace them, right?
Pepper spray is intended for warding off attackers -- but this mom apparently pepper sprayed her own daughters. According to Tempe Police, 35-year-old Michelle Antone was trying to get the keys to her car Saturday night -- but she'd had too much to drink. When her adolescent daughters wouldn't help her, police say she lost her temper.

The woman's 10-year-old and 15-year-old daughters told police she'd been drinking, says Tempe Police Sgt. Steve Carbajal. "She starts asking them to the keys to her car. But the keys are in a separate room that's locked to prevent her drinking and driving," says Sgt. Carbajal. But the girls refused to give their mother the car keys. "At that point mom gets so mad she uses her pepper spray and sprays her 10 and 15-year-old daughters." The girls called 911.
Mom Allegedly Pepper Sprays Kids

Bar Owner Allegedly Pulls Gun on Girl, 11, and Takes Skateboard

Dude! That is so harsh! Just chill, man, and little the girl skateboard, ya know?
A bar owner took an 11-year-old girl's skateboard at gunpoint and was charged with armed robbery, police said. Jack Connerton, 50, was angry over children cutting through his parking lot on skateboards, according to authorities. He was arrested on the felony count Saturday after he allegedly pointed a gun, took the girl's skateboard and snapped photos of four children, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported.

The girl's mother, Misty Bragg, said neighborhood children have to pass Connerton's Towerview Sports Pub in Cincinnati to get to a recreation center and park.
Bar Owner Arrested for Allegedly Taking Girl's Skateboard at Gunpoint - FOXNews.com

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Women Crazy Glue Casanova's Penis to His Stomach in Motel Room Ambush

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned . . . unless you're talking about FOUR women scorned. Then you've got REAL problems, like this guy in Wisconsin who will likely not forget any time soon that he should have kept it in his pants, because now he's going to have trouble pulling it out again. Ouch!
A sticky case of revenge unfolded last week in a Wisconsin motel after a woman discovered her husband was cheating and invited three other scorned lovers to settle the score -- with Krazy Glue. The 36-year-old Lothario was carrying on with all of them before his wife figured it out and notified the others, according to a criminal complaint filed in Calumet County, Wis., in a town about 90 miles north of Milwaukee. "We had a plan," one of the women, Therese Ziemann, 48, told an investigator, according to court records.

Ziemann lured the man to a Stockbridge hotel Thursday, promising a "rub down," the complaint says. He was blindfolded and tied to a bed. Then Ziemann text-messaged the other three women, including the man's wife, who joined her in the room. One of them, Wendy Sewell, 44, reportedly asked, "Which one do you love more?" After the victim was threatened with mace, punched in the face and taunted, the mischief moved south. Ziemann glued a sensitive body part to his stomach, according to the complaint.

The women, including Michelle Belliveau, fled when the man started yelling. All were later charged with false imprisonment. Ziemann also faces charges of fourth-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor battery. The wife was not named to protect the man's identity.
Women stick together against cheating lover -- chicagotribune.com (Link inlcudes mug shots of all the "ladies"


Monday, August 03, 2009

Why Didn't I Think of That? Jobless Woman Sues College for $70K in Tuition

Are you a recent college grad? Still haven't found that dream job (or any job for that matter) yet? Don't just sit there, sue your old school and all that money you wasted on tuition back . . . like this lady in NYC.
Trina Thompson filed a lawsuit last week against Monroe College in Bronx Supreme Court. The 27-year-old is seeking the $70,000 she spent on tuition. Thompson says she's been unable to find gainful employment since she received her information technology degree in April. She says the Bronx school's Office of Career Advancement hasn't provided her with the leads and career advice it promises.

Monroe College spokesman Gary Axelbank says Thompson's lawsuit is completely without merit.
Jobless NYC woman sues college for $70K in tuition | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Man Chagred With DUI on a Bulldozer and Front End Loader

Some drunk people will try to drive anything, including this guy:

57-year-old Robert Tite is charged with D-U-I, refusing a breathalyzer and not controlling his vehicle. Police say his vehicle was a front end loader, that a driver reported moving erratically through the town of Wakeman around 6:30 Sunday evening.

"The vehicle was behind this backhoe, when the officer rolled up, she was on Main Street, observed the driver basically go through the stop sign without stopping for any incoming traffic and then he proceeded to pull the backhoe up in front of a business on Main Street," said Wakeman police chief Tim Hunker.

Police say Tite nearly ran into the front of the hardware store he owns. They say he failed a field sobriety test, and refused a breathalyzer.

Just last month, Huron County sheriff's deputies arrested Tite, accusing him of damaging a neighbor's yard with a bulldozer. Officers arrested and charged him with DUI, after they say he destroyed a thousand feet of grass and several trees.


See the video for a great news clip!

 

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Woman Charged After Riding a Stolen Horse

After all these years, there are still people dumb enough to leave us speechless. Blaming your inability to balance on your stolen horse being drunk is up there..
Tracy Nadine Ellenburg, 40, was charged by the Pickens County Sheriff’s Office around 1:35pm on July 25. A pedestrian told deputies a woman was riding a horse on the double-yellow line and was having trouble staying on the animal according to the incident report. Deputies found the horse tied to a park bench at the gas pumps at a convenience store. Ellenburg was inside trying to use the phone when she was asked for identification.

Ellenburg told officers she didn’t have any according to the report and she was riding the horse to her boyfriend’s on Smith Memorial Highway. The incident report says Ellenburg smelled of alcohol and said she had consumed a six pack of beer before leaving on the horse.

The officer asked Ellenburg why she was riding the horse down Main Street and she answered that “she wasn’t drunk the horse was.“ Ellenburg was arrested and charged with public disorderly conduct while deputies tried to find the owner of the horse.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Alleged Drunken Driver Falls Asleep Outside of Police Post


Suspected drunken driver Todd Joseph Olin, who pulled off Interstate 94 early Thursday and was found asleep on the front lawn of the Michigan State Police Post in Paw Paw. Lucky for him, he kinda knows the drill as he has six convictions for alcohol-related driving offenses and preliminary tests show that Olin's blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal driving limit of 0.08 percent, police said.

Widener, Arkansas Mayor Arrested for DWI...Again

The people of Widener must be very forgiving people because Mayor Abron Pitts has been arrested again for driving while intoxicated.

According to the Times-Herald Pitts was arrested Friday night by an Arkansas State Police Trooper, just a little over a year since his last arrest on the same charge.

According to an arrest report on file at the St. Francis County Sheriff’s Department, Pitts, 64, was arrested about 10 p.m. Friday at his home in Widener after the trooper saw him drive off the south shoulder of Highway 38.

The trooper said Pitts refused to stop his 1994 Chevrolet pickup until he arrived at his home on Main Street. Once there, the trooper said Pitts “jumped out of the truck and almost fell.” The trooper said at Pitts’ home, several dogs surrounded his patrol car. Well, at least he still has the canine support.



Sunday, July 26, 2009

Army Colonel Eats 40-Year-Old Cake



Police Chief Arrested for Drunk Driving, Blows .19 % BAC

The City of Alexandria has reported that on Saturday, July 25 at approximately 11:00 p.m., Arlington County Police arrested Alexandria Chief of Police David P. Baker for driving under the influence of alcohol (DUI). Chief Baker was involved in a traffic collision near the intersection of I-66 and North Fairfax Drive in Arlington County. The driver of the other vehicle sustained non life-threatening injuries and was transported to a local area hospital. According to Arlington County Police, Chief Baker’s blood alcohol level (BAC) was .19 percent. Chief Baker was driving an unmarked City vehicle at the time of the accident. Following the arrest, he was released through normal booking procedures.
Alexandria Times | Alexandria Police Chief Arrested for DUI

Fake Cops Makes Mistake, Pulls Over Real Undercover Cop

Everyone thinks they can do a better job than the cops can at their jobs. But a few take it a little too far, like this dumbass:
Police arrested a man for impersonating an officer on Wednesday after they say he tried to pull over an undercover Oakland officer.  Police say 21-year-old Antonio Fernandez Martinez of Oakland followed an undercover officer in a vehicle similar to a police cruiser. They say the car had flashing lights on its dashboard and appeared to have red and blue lights on its grill that were actually paint-covered speakers. Police say Martinez motioned to the undercover officer to pull him over. The real cop then alerted his colleagues.
Man Arrested For Impersonating Police, Pulling Over Undercover Cop - News Story - KTVU San Francisco

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