Dumbass Drunk Driver Launches Car Into Second Story of House

A drunk driver got a little bit of assistance in making his car fly.

Like a scene out of the "Dukes of Hazzard," a driver launched his SUV from the road into the second-floor of a Long Island home early Saturday.

"All hell broke loose," said homeowner John Sarli, 58, who was sleeping at the far end of his E. Moriches house when the 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee crashed through the front.

"I was kind of in shock."

Suffolk County cops said Adam Clark, 20, was driving drunk when he hit a dirt berm 20 feet off E. Moriches Blvd. about 12:20 a.m.

The Jeep flew 65 feet into the grand foyer of Sarli's two-story Victorian house.

Cops: Drunk driver goes flying, crashes into Long Island house's second floor

Nun Arrested for DUI in Church Car

Wonder if the car had one of those "God is My Co-Pilot" bumper stickers on it?

A Wantagh nun arrested on drunken driving charges had twice the legal limit for alcohol in her blood when she got into a church-owned car and careened into a tree, police and prosecutors said Thursday. Sister Lauren M. Hanley, 68, had a bottle of liquor in the car and a blood-alcohol level of 0.18 when she was arrested after the accident Tuesday evening, after she left work at St. Frances de Chantal Church in Wantagh, said Nassau prosecutors.

The church's Web site lists her as spiritual development director. She could not be reached for comment. She told police she'd been drinking at the church starting about 3 that afternoon, prosecutors said. Court records show she admitted to police that she drank a half pint of gin.

SOURCE: Cops: Wantagh nun charged with drunken driving

Cop Admits to Sending Naked Pictures of Himself to Female Motorist He Wanted to Have Sex With

Well, it sounds like "sexting" isn't just for kids anymore! Now, even cops can get in on the act. This case involves Calvin Schaffer, formerly with the Goddard (KS) Police Department, and a female motorist he arrested for DUI back in February of this year.

In his plea agreement, Schaffer admitted using a police department computer while on duty to send e-mails and naked photos of himself to the woman. Under the deal, he would not be allowed to withdraw his guilty plea even if the judge rejects the prosecution’s sentencing recommendations.

According to an FBI affidavit, Mason went to the FBI in March to file a complaint. She gave the FBI secret recordings that she and two private investigators had made of a telephone call and a meeting between her and the officer.

Mason told the FBI she initially “played along” with the officer’s sexual innuendo while en route to jail after her arrest in hopes of getting help with her criminal case, court records show.

According to the affidavit, Schaffer told FBI agents during an interview that Mason had e-mailed him nude photos of herself before he ever sent her photos of himself. He showed the photos of her to the agents, who then seized his BlackBerry.

Former southern Kansas police officer pleads guilty in ‘sexting’ case - Kansas City Star

Wait Until You Get Home to Take the Viagra, Dumbass!

The wonder drug that works wonders on your manhood may work a little TOO well for some people. Especially if you can't wait for it to work until you get all the way home from the drug store.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office Douglas Benkert, 49, was arrested after a mom with two children in her Dodge truck driving next to him on State Road 70 said she saw him exposed and masturbating. She phoned 911, got his tag number and followed him until deputies stopped him at U.S. 301 and SR 70 East. Benkert told the deputy he was only adjusting himself, the sheriff's office said, and consented to a search of his car.

Inside they found a pill bottle containing Viagra. "Douglas stated that he had just picked up the Viagra from Publix at Lakewood Ranch and SR70 and had taken half of a 100mg pill," the sheriff's office said.

SOURCE: Why you should wait until you get home before taking Viagra | 10connects.com | Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater

Must See Video: 10-Year-Old Tells "New Mom" on Wife Swap that "Bacon is good for me!"

Girl, 15, Takes the Wheel for Mom's Drunk Boyfriend

And to add just the right twist to this heartwarming tale, they were on the way to cash a check to get the girl's mother out of jail!

An underage girl was caught driving a vehicle after her mothers boyfriend was too drunk to drive. The girl says she begged the man to pull over after he almost crashed their rented 2009 Pathfinder several times on the drive between Newark and Heath.
Ironically, they, along with a 12 year old girl who was in the backseat, were on their way to cash a check to bond the mother out of jail. The guy was charged with child endangering, and according to the report, his blood alcohol level was .17 which is over twice the legal limit.

SOURCE: WSYX ABC 6 - Columbus Top Stories

Female Teacher Arrested for Sex With Two Underage Boys, 17 & 15

From the way the story reads, this lady was allegedly having an affair with a 17-year-old boy, got tired of his old ass and took up with a younger man, who was all of 15.

The Heppner teacher under investigation for sexual activity with students is now in jail on sex crimes charges. The Morrow County Sheriff's office this morning arrested Wendy Cannin, 30, at her home in Heppner after an investigation revealed she had sexual contact with a 15-year-old male student and a 17-year-old male student. The sheriff's office arrested Cannin on the following charges:

• one count of sexual misconduct, a Class C misdemeanor;

• four counts of third-degree sexual abuse, a Class A misdemeanor;

• one count of third-degree rape, a Class C felony;

• and one count of third-degree sodomy, also a Class C felony.

Members of the sheriff's office took Cannin to the Umatilla County Jail in Pendleton. Her total bail is $40,500. A news release from the sheriff's office said Detective Karen Dike found the incidents began before the end of the last school year and continued through the middle of July. The incidents also reportedly happened on and off school property, the news release said.

SOURCE: Teacher in jail for sex crimes

Update: Teacher Who Was Fired for Wearing Bikini on Charter Fishing Boat Turns to Porn

We're shocked! Shocked I tell you! At least she gets to play a teacher in one of her films.

A Florida biology teacher fired after posing for racy pictures has landed a new career – in pornography. Tiffany Shepherd, 31, made headlines in April after bikini-clad pictures of her on a fishing charter got her canned from Port St. Lucie High School. She turned to doing porn, she told a Florida news outlet, after losing custody of two of her three kids to her ex-husband and sending out 2,500 resumes – some even to prisons – without landing a new teaching job.

"I'm not particularly proud of it. To be honest, I hate it," Shepherd told Page2live.com. "I'm an educated woman, but I never thought it would come to this. No one gets brought up thinking they'll be a floozy." On screen, Shepherd goes by the name Leah Lust and has filmed five feature films, including one titled ‘My First Sex Teacher,' where Shepherd portrays the very job she's been trying to get back.

SOURCE: Bikini-clad teacher Tiffany Shepherd, aka Leah Lust, turns to porn after being fired from school

Man Drives Drunk to Register as Sex Offender With Cops

We can understand that you're not happy being officially classified as a sex offender. Or that you actually have to go somewhere end have the paperwork processed. But boozing it up ahead of time--especially when you have to visit the cops--is probably not the best idea. Then again, if it was, would this guy's story be here?

A convicted child sex offender has been charged with drunken driving because he allegedly showed up intoxicated when he registered under Megan's Law at a western Pennsylvania state police barracks.

State police in Greensburg say 37-year-old Jerry Cignetti, of Bradenville, showed up drunk on Friday. Court records show he was convicted in Westmoreland County in 1998 for the indecent assault of a child under 13. He was paroled but had to register as a sex offender once his sentence was completed.

Police say he drove alone to the barracks and had a blood-alcohol content of 0.12 percent, well above the state's 0.08 percent limit for drivers. That's why he was charged with drunken driving.

SOURCE: Police: Pa. man drove drunk to Megan's Law meeting | PoconoRecord.com

If You Stay at the "Gay Paris Las Vegas Hotel" You Can Save $10

We were searching on Yahoo! Travel the other day for a Las Vegas hotel for an upcoming conference we attend each year in the fall. There looked to be a lot of great deals (airfare included!) when we came across something interesting: a listing for a "Gay Paris Las Vegas" hotel, right above a listing for the Paris Las Vegas. Same dates, same airlines, but if you're gay (or willing to pretend for a few days) you can save a $10! Yes, a whole ten dollars over four days.

It also appears that the user reviews for the Gay Paris Las Vegas are slightly higher (4 and half stars vs. 4 stars). And based on the description, all of that works together to create the "ultimate destination for gays and lesbians." And the best you can do is $10?

Click on the link below to see a larger image.


Save $10 at the Gay Paris Las Vegas

Video: Fox Reporter Gets A Dollar Bill Stuffed In Her Bra

She's only worth a dollar?

Mom Walks Into Florida Strip Club, Finds Daughter, 15, Working There

UPDATE: Mother of teen stripper attacks TV reporter with hoe. Watch the video below. At first she says she is not the mother of the teen, then angrily yells at the reporter and cameraman for knocking on her "motherf*cking door" before grabbing a garden hoe and attacking them.



EARLIER: But there is good news: the teenaged girl was not alone. Her 17-year-old friend also worked there!

Rosemary Lumpkin says she got an anonymous call from someone claiming her 15-year-old daughter was a stripper at the business. So this spunky mom didn't waste any time -- she called Cocoa police and officers raided the place. They found Lumpkin's daughter and a 17-year-old girl who was also stripping. Lumpkin walked in with officers to find her daughter sitting next to a grown man topless, she said.

Both girls told the police they thought dancing was a good way to make money. How could you not know your daughter was dancing there?" WFTV reporter Kenneth Moton asked. "Easy. Because I'm not a security guard, she could be sneaking out of the window," Lumpkin said. "You've got to sleep some time."

Mom finds teen daughter performing at topless bar

Female Teacher, 28, Accused of Paying Boy, 15, for Sex

You're doing it wrong, honey! Either he pays you for the, uh, education, or you get it for free, but paying a teenager $1500 for sex? That's just Un-American! Police have now arrested Melissa Ann Andreini, a former Helper Junior High School in Utah and charged with three counts of third-degree felony unlawful sexual activity with a minor.

According to the statement, the victim's mother confronted Andreini at Andreini's home in Helper on July 3 after finding out the teacher was supposedly having sex with her son. Andreini admitted to the boy's mother that she had sex with the teenager on several occasions at her home, according to the statement. A Utah Division of Child and Family Services worker along with police interviewed the boy about his relationship with Andreini, which he said started during the 2008-09 school year, according to the statement.

The boy told police Andreini used to bring him and his friends coffee two to three times a week before school started. The boys went to Andreini's classroom to get the drinks, according to the statement. The victim reported to police that Andreini paid him money after three separate sexual episodes at her home in June.

Court documents do not specify if the money exchanged was for sex or to keep the boy quiet about the encounters. The victim's mother told police Andreini admitted to paying the boy between $1,400 and $1,500 when the mother confronted

At right, Melissa Ann Andreini's mug shot picture.
SOURCE: Teacher allegedly paid student after sex - Salt Lake Tribune

Oh Lord! Florida Pastor Fakes Own Kidnapping to Cheat on Wife

On the plus side, God is likely to forgive him. Not sure about his wife, though, especially now that half the cops in Florida know what he was up to on the side.

A Hillsborough County pastor is in legal hot water after faking his own kidnapping so that he could spend more time with his girlfriend. According to Hillsborough Sheriff’s deputies, Seventh Day Adventist Church of Reform pastor Wikler Moran-Mora sent his wife a text message saying that he had been kidnapped, but that she should not panic. He later sent several more texts where he claimed that he was negotiating his release, which was when she called the police. More than a dozen Hillsborough deputies were involved in the search for the pastor, who was eventually located by tracing his cell phone. When deputies found him, Moran-Mora allegedly admitted that he had concocted the kidnapping story to spend time with the woman who was in his presence when he was found.

SOURCE: Florida Pastor Faked Kidnapping To Cheat On Wife | We Interrupt

How to Update Your Facebook Profile Pic After You Break Up With Your Girlfriend

Not sure whether to admire this kid or feel sorry for the guy.

At least he has a sense of humor and seems to know how to piss off his ex.

SOURCE: OnFW3.png (PNG Image, 778x957 pixels) - Scaled (73%)

Female Teacher, 32, Admits to Sex With Male Student, 14

Regular teachers have the summer off, but apparently summer camp art teachers are picking up the slack. But at least, this time, the pair are "in love."

E-mails and messages police said were sent between a summer camp art teacher and a 14-year-old boy have been discovered and are filled with sexual conversation. Police said the e-mails are between Melanie Fonseca and a camper at the Boys and Girls Club summer camp where she worked. Fonseca was arrested Wednesday and charged with sexually abusing the teen. The boy's mother said she discovered an e-mail from her son's friend telling him not to have sex with his teacher, and that's when she confronted her son.

The teen reportedly told his mother he was in love with his 32-year-old art teacher and that the pair had kissed on several occasions and she had performed oral sex on him in the laundry room of a Kissimmee apartment complex.  "To some it may be crazy and insane because of our age difference, but it doesn't matter to me," one e-mail from Fonseca to the teen reads. "It's not infatuation or obsession, it's love. Real, true, pure love. If anyone ever found out I'm sure I'd be accused of so much wrongdoing, of having done so much wrong to you in making you follow my every lead, but we both know that is not the case."

Cops: Teacher Sent Student Love E-Mail - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando

Man Doesn't Understand How Automatic Door Works

Can't tell what country this takes place in, but word is this genius is an engineering student. Let's hope he's an art history major after seeing this.

Man Arrested for DUI on Golf Cart Blows BAC Four Times Legal Limit

I suppose if you're going to get drunk and drive down the street blocking traffic on a golf cart, you might as well go all the way, right? But four times the legal limit of .08%? That's some drinking! Most people are passed out at that point and some are dead . . . but not this guy for Gary, Indiana.

John P. O'Hara took his golf cart for a sping down a Gary, Ind., street and could have possibly gone unnoticed were it not for a truck that wanted to pass but was blocked.  Gary police Cpl. Gabrielle King said an officer flipped on his siren and followed the 23-year-old man and his three passengers, who reportedly tossed some red plastic cups from their cart before pulling over.

The smell of alcohol and bloodshot eyes also caught the officer's attention.  O'Hara admitted to police he had a little to drink, "maybe a 12-pack." Turned out to be perhaps more than a little. He blew a .289 on a breathalyzer test, nearly four times the legal limit of .08 percent blood alcohol in Indiana.

No Mulligan for Golf Cart Drunk Driver | NBC Chicago

Honolulu Cops Caught Smoking Weed in Van During Police Softball Tournament in Las Vegas

And to make matters worse, they tried to run away from park police when they were caught. Don't these cops ever watch COPS? They'd know you always get caught when you run away. Just man up and claim you were using it for medical purposes only . . . to smooth out your swing.

Authorities say two Honolulu police officers tried to elude park police but were arrested on marijuana charges during a weekend softball tournament in Las Vegas. Clark County spokeswoman Stacey Welling said Monday that 37-year-old Kevin Fujioka and 47-year-old Shayne Souza were arrested Saturday night near Desert Breeze Park, about six miles west of the Las Vegas Strip. Welling says 38-year-old Scott Wilson of Honolulu was also arrested.

Welling says park police approached the men in a white van because it was parked sideways across two spots in the park's parking lot. Welling says that as officers approached, the van drove off. She says that after a short car chase, Fujioka and Souza tried to elude authorities on foot.

Honolulu Cops Try to Run Away; Arrested on Drug Charges | KGMB9 News

Mom Caught Having Sex in Public Library With Stranger

Public libraries are offering all kinds of new services these days to attract customers. Not sure if this one will catch on . . .

Sure there's books about anatomy in the library - but one Connecticut mom apparently wanted to do more than just peruse the literature - and instead put those lessons to good use. Carla Levesque, 34, was busted for having sex with an unidentified man in the restroom of the Rockville Public Library in Vernon Thursday morning. The pair was allegedly caught getting it on when another mom brought her own 4-year-old daughter to the bathroom. The man managed to flee the scene before police arrived, but authorities say they have a good idea of who they are looking for.

Levesque has two children - ages 6 and 9 - and had apparently been staying at a homeless shelter in Rockville. She was charged with risk of injury to a minor, public indecency and disorderly conduct.

Cops: Mom Busted for Having Sex in Library - WPIX

Cop Arrested for Freeing His Willie at Public Beach

How difficult is it guys: when you're at home you can let the little guy hang out all you want, but once you're out in public, you gotta keep him in the house or they'll throw you in the Big House. Anyone else been "surprised" like this at a public beach or state park? Comments below.

A Santa Barbara police officer has been arrested after authorities say he exposed himself to two teenage girls at a state beach. The Sheriff's Department says 33-year-old Brian Sawicki was off-duty when two girls pointed him out to a park ranger at the Refugio Beach campground Monday afternoon. The girls say they were on a trail when they noticed a man walking behind him and later saw him lying down exposed. He was chased by the ranger and arrested for investigation of indecent exposure, resisting a peace officer and annoying or molesting a child

Santa Barbara cop arrested for indecent exposure - San Jose Mercury News

Don't Steal Stuff From Your Neighbors and Then Have a Yard Sale

Rules for Dumbasses #614: If you're gonna rob your neighbors of their stuff, don't set it out on your lawn two days later for a garage sale! Like this lady in Severn, Maryland who came across some strangely familiar items at a yard sale a few doors down from where she lived:

Officers responded to the woman's house last week in the 800 block of Reece Road. The woman, whose name wasn't released, told Anne Arundel County police that her home and shed had been burglarized and that a "significant amount" of property had been stolen.

Two days later, she noticed the yard sale taking place just a few houses away and observed that items being sold had been stolen from her during the burglary, police said. Detectives obtained a search warrant and recovered about $25,000 worth of the victim's property, which was returned to her.

Police: Woman Finds Her Stolen Items At Yard Sale - Baltimore News Story - WBAL Baltimore

Con Man Wants $100 for Oven Door Disguised 37-Inch Flat Screen TV

Think you're gonna get a great deal on a big screen TV from some guy driving a 1980 Cutlass in the Wal-Mart parking lot? Then you get what you deserve, dumbass!

On Wednesday San Leandro police pulled over a man who had in his car a box containing what appeared to be an expensive 37-inch flat-screen television, but in actuality was a glass oven door cleverly disguised as a TV. The man is suspected of trying to sell the item for $100 in the parking lot of the San Lorenzo Wal-Mart, 15555 Hesperian Blvd.

"It was very ingenious," Ballew said. "If you were a bargain hunter, you might think, 'Wow, this is the deal of the day.'" Police got an anonymous call Wednesday from someone who raised suspicions about a man who tried to sell him a television out of his beige 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass in the Wal-Mart parking lot. The witness said the seller told him he had bought the TV for $60 at a flea market.

Later, Sgt. Luis Torres stopped the Cutlass after spotting it driving through San Leandro. The driver, Anthony Myles, 52, of Richmond, was arrested for driving on a suspended license. No charges were filed against Myles' passenger, a 53-year-old man.

The television in question was in the back of the car wrapped in packaging material. It had installation instructions on the back, a Best Buy price sticker for $1,949 and accompanying electric cables. Police confiscated the item, but no charges were filed in relation to its attempted sale.

37-inch flat screen TV for $100 is really an oven door - San Jose Mercury News

Worst. Hidden Camera. Ever.

You'll never think of the Comic Book Guy on "The Simpsons" the same again!

A 43-year-old man is facing charges after customers allegedly discovered a hidden camera in his Vaughan business. According to York regional police, a man and woman went to Dragon's Realm on Wednesday, located at 9661 Jane St. The business bills itself as a comics, toys and collectables store. 

"The female victim requested to use the washroom and was followed by the owner of the business who entered an adjoining room," police said Thursday in a news release. "The man felt this was suspicious behaviour and went to the washroom himself to investigate. He discovered a camera set up on a tri-pod, hidden on the other side of the washroom."

The two confronted the owner and contacted York police, who arrested the man without incident. Officers were seen removing a computer from the premises. Domenic Giorgio of Bolton will face one charge of voyeurism and two counts of assault.

CTV Toronto - Alleged hidden camera leads to voyeurism charge - CTV News, Shows and Sports -- Canadian Television

"Father of the Year" Brings Five-Year-Old to Dog Fight

Did your dad ever take you to a dog fight? Mine neither. Bastard! Think of all the fun--and emotional trauma--I missed out on.

Authorities say seven people have been arrested following a dog fight in Hopkins Park. Cook County Sheriff's Police say the fight was in progress Saturday evening when the arrests -- which were part of a two-month investigation -- were made. Those arrested face charges including felony dog fighting and obstruction. One man also faces charges for allegedly bringing a five-year-old to the fight.

Cook County police arrest 7 in dog fight -- chicagotribune.com

Female Special Ed Teacher Accused of Getting Boy, 14, Drunk, Having Special Sex With Him

This lady might go to jail, but when she gets out, do you think she'll get work endorsing Royal Crown? Yeah, probably not. I also find it interesting in the story that the victim can't remember whether he had sex with the teacher five or ten times. That's a pretty big difference, especially for a teenaged boy. Something smells fishy here, doesn't it?

A Plano special education teacher has been arrested on a charge of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old boy after she allegedly got him drunk and had sex with him several times at her home. The teacher, Mariane Kieffer, 39, also faces a charge of an improper relationship between an educator and student. The alleged victim, who said he attended Carpenter, told Plano police last week that he started going to Kieffer's house around last February, according to a probable cause affidavit. A month later, he said, Kieffer asked to have sex after they got drunk drinking Crown Royal in her son's bedroom.

Until June, the boy said Kieffer occasionally drove him to her house after school and had sex between five and 10 times, the affidavit states.

Plano special education teacher accused of sexually assaulting 14-year-old student | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Plano News

Why You Shouldn't "Friend" Your Boss on Facebook

Here's a good lesson for you young people out there: your boss is NOT your friend, on Facebook or off Facebook. Case in point below:

6zjNO.jpg (JPEG Image, 463x293 pixels)