Happy Woman Brings Brass Knuckles to Court, Gets Arrested - Breanna Tenai Calvin

Everyone know not to bring a gun with you when you make a court appearance, but apparently word hasn't gotten out that you're not supposed to bring a combo knife/brass knuckles with you. At the very least, this lady is enjoying her time behind bars!

Troy Police have arrested an 18-year-old Flint woman on claims she brought the weapon into 52-4 District Court this morning. According to police reports, Breanna Tenai Calvin was scheduled to appear in court regarding fine money that was owed on a prior retail fraud case.

Upon entering the courthouse, Calvin passed through a metal detector, and a deputy noticed something that appeared to be "suspicious" in her purse. Upon further search, it turned out to be a knife/metallic knuckles (aka brass knuckles) with an overall length of 9 inches, including a knife blade of 3 inches, according to police.

Woman arrested for bringing brass knuckles to court | detnews.com | The Detroit News

Lawyers: Not getting the traffic you want from you website? We can tell you why in under 15 minutes at LegalWebMakeover.com

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Man Calls 911 Asking for Phone Sex

Dumbass! Why call the 911 operator and ask for sex? Because it's free!

It appears one Tampa man confused 911 for a 900 number after he reportedly dialed the emergency line numerous times looking for sex.  Joshua Basso, 29, is accused of making sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asking if he could come to her house.

"The caller advised the 911 dispatcher that he was in the bathroom looking for sex and continued to make several obscene comments regarding masturbation and body parts," according to a report from Tampa police. When the operator hung up on him, Basso proceeded to call back four times, police said.

Fifteen minutes after making his last phone call, police arrested Basso at his home on charges of making a false 911 call. He was taken to Hillsborough County Jail, where he he remains without bail. Basso told police "he was out of (cellphone) minutes and he called 911 because it was free."

Man Arrested For Calling 911, Asking For Sex - WPIX

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Teenaged Mom Give Birth After Burglary Arrest

Talk about working right up until the time you go into labor. The hard working ladies in the secretarial pool here at The Dumbass Daily have nothing on this hard working teenaged girl who was arrested by cops almost immediately after committing burglary (let's hope it didn't involve crawling through someone's basement window!) and then popped out the world's newest little felon.

A new mom is facing charges after police say she was arrested on suspicion of burglary just before giving birth. Police say when an officer began to investigate a car Friday fitting a description of a vehicle connected to other robberies in the Vallejo area, the officer saw a pregnant Shanae Harston come out of a house.

As the 19-year-old Harston was being arrested, police say she went into contractions. She was taken to a hospital, where she gave birth. Police say she was released pending prosecution.

Teen arrested just before giving birth - San Jose Mercury News

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Drunk Pilot Arrested at Airport as He's About to Go to Work

Drunk driving is bad enough, but drunk FLYING? Good things they nabbed this guy before he got into the cockpit.  And this wasn't some little puddle-jumper flight: this was a United Airlines flight from London to Chicago!

Police charged a United Airlines pilot on suspicion of being drunk as he was about to help fly a passenger plane from Heathrow Airport, a spokesman said. Erwin Vermont Washington, 51, was charged with "exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit" after his arrest at the world's busiest airport a day earlier, police said late on Tuesday/

Washington, of Lakewood, Colorado, was charged with "being aviation staff performing an aviation function whilst exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit," the police spokesman said.

The pilot was arrested on Monday afternoon before the plane carrying 124 passengers and 11 crew was due to depart for Chicago, Scotland Yard and the airline said earlier Tuesday.

SOURCE: 'Drunk' United Airlines pilot arrested at Heathrow - Yahoo! Canada News

HS English Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story, Being a Dumbass

Well, at least the story wasn't about HIM having sex with a student.

An English teacher from the Bronx is accused of overstepping his boundaries by sharing with his students a steamy composition about teenage masturbation.

Greg Van Voorhis, known as "Mr. V" by students at the Bronx School of Law and Finance, is accused of giving his 11th graders a graphic short story titled "Guts" written by "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk. The explicit reading centers around a teenager's masturbation habits involving things like carrots, among other items.

School officials say Van Voorhis went too far and as a result the Department of Education re-assigned Van Voorhis to an administrative office, pending the outcome of an investigation.

NYC Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story - WPIX

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Teacher Lindsey Seymour Arrested for Alleged Sex With Teen, 16

A summer fling with a student has turned into statutory rape charges for teacher Lindsey Seymour of the Alvin C. York Institute in Jamestown. Is it just more, or in the mug shot does she have one of those, "Yeah, you got me" looks?

The TBI arrested a teacher on statutory rape charges after she was indicted by the Fentress County Grand Jury. 27 year old Lindsey Seymour, of Allardt, was indicted on 8 counts of statutory rape by an authority figure. Police say the incidents between Seymour and the 16-year-old male victim all took place between June 2009 and September 2009.

WZTV FOX 17/Nashville

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Teacher Fired on First Day After Giving Out Three Different Social Security Numbers

Maybe he was just a little nervous? Or maybe he's just not good with numbers, but a teacher in Baton Rouge, LA didn't make it to lunch time before he was arrested on the job.

Damian Brown, 26, was taken into custody by East Baton Rouge Parish sheriff's deputies and charged with identity theft after officials at Scotlandville Elementary say he put three different social security numbers on his applications.

One of the social security numbers was his, another belongs to a teacher in north Louisiana and the third remains a mystery

Teacher arrested on his first day on the job - WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge, LA |

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Burglars Use Markers to Create Face Masks That Don't Fool Cops

Can't afford a ski mask, but want to be a professional thief? No problem! Just grab a Sharpie and start coloring in your face. The one guys looks like he was going for a Batman kinda look, doesn't he?

In Carroll, Iowa, two men -- Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller -- are accused of burglarizing an apartment. Instead of wearing masks, police say, the men apparently drew on their faces with permanent marker. Police say they had no trouble identifying the suspects when they stopped the men's car.

Crime Scene KC

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Debra LaFave Back in the News: Former Teacher Convicted of Sex With Teen, 14

We were just talking with Debra LaFave with out friends Todd 'n' Tyler on Tuesday morning. LaFave, along with Pamela Rogers, set the bar pretty high a few years ago for good looking female teachers having sex with underage young men. As the guys pointed out, the most recent crop haven't quite measured up. And now here is Debra once again, asking to be allowed contact with young people. Let's see what the judge says.

A judge is set to decide Thursday whether former teacher and convicted sex offender Debra LaFave can have limited contact with children of her family and friends.  LaFave has recently completed the sex offender therapy program she has been participating in since December 2005, according to court documents. She is asking for supervised contact with a limited number of children of family and friends; the parents of each child would have to agree.

LaFave's attorney, John Fitzgibbons, had no comment on the motion he filed Monday. A hearing is scheduled before Hillsborough Circuit Judge Wayne S. Timmerman.

LaFave, a former English teacher at Greco Middle School, was arrested in June 2004 after a woman told police that LaFave was having sex with her 14-year-old son.

LaFave wants contact with kids of family, friends

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Dumbass Burglar Drops Cell Phone at Scene, Meets Up With Cops Later to Collect It

You certainly don't have to be smart to be a criminal these days. Well, at least if you want to stay out of jail. Take this guy for example:

An Orange Cove burglar is behind bars, but it's what put him there that has Sheriff's Deputies shaking their heads.  According to Fresno County Sheriff's Deputies, 22-year-old Jesse Neri Jr. of Visalia broke into a home on the 900 block of Fourth St. in Orange Cove on Saturday.

Neri got inside the home by breaking the back window, however once inside he set off the motion detectors, which activated the home's alarm. Neri quickly fled the scene, and in the process dropped his cell phone near the broken window.

During the course of the investigation, deputies discovered the phone and were able to identify that it belonged to Neri. Officers then called Neri (not identifying themselves as deputies) and offered to meet up with him to return the phone.  Neri fell for the ruse and agreed to meet deputies near the intersection of Huntsman & Hills Valley to reclaim his phone.

Visalia Burglar Arrested After Leaving Cell Phone At The Scene - KMPH Fox 26 Central San Joaquin Valley News Source in Fresno, California Entertainment, News, Sports and Weather |

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Female Teacher Arrested for Sex With Four Male Students - Jennifer Diane Bland

As if things we're bad enough already, Jennifer "Anything But" Bland has been arrested--since this initial report--on additional charges as even more underage boys from Durand High School in Durand, Illinois bringing the total number of counts against her to 19!

A Durand Spanish teacher spends the day out of the classroom and instead in jail. Police accuse her of having inappropriate contact with four students.  Jennifer Bland, 23, faces 6 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse. A Winnebago County judge read the charges to her via video conference in court Thursday afternoon.

Prosecutors say Bland had sexual contact with four male students between the ages of 14 and 17. The first incident allegedly happened last spring; the others in September and October.

Durand teacher accused of sexual misconduct with students - WREX.com – Rockford’s News Leader

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Female Teacher Goes All "Fatal Attraction" on Boy, 17, She Had Sex With - Naomi Perez

Usually, it's the teenaged boys who want to keep having sex with the middle-aged female teachers once the affairs start. But this time, we have a female teacher who--according to the cops--was still chasing this boy more than two years after the two of them allegedly had sex in her home. This situation all came to a head this last week we the boy's car was allegedly vandalized by the teacher, Naoimi Perez.

Naomi Perez, 33, of Brea, is charged with one felony count each of unlawful sexual intercourse, oral copulation of a minor, sexual penetration by foreign object of a minor, and one misdemeanor count of vandalism, said a statement by the Orange Country District Attorney’s office.   Perez is accused of meeting 17-year-old student John Doe while working as a teacher at Saddleback High School in Santa Ana.

Between June 1, 2007, and Aug. 27, 2007, Perez is accused of having an unlawful relationship with the victim on multiple occasions in her Brea home.  Two years after the end of the relationship, Perez is accused of vandalizing the victim’s car while it was parked outside of a family member’s home by scratching and denting the vehicle.

Female California teacher accused of sex with student | VANCOUVERITE

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Female Florida Teacher Gets Ten Years for Sex With Boys

What is it lately with the judges in these cases? We've had two female teachers in as many days sentenced to actual jail time for sex with underage boys? Don't they know they are only supposed to get probation or at least a stern lecture?

We think if this trend continues that horny female teachers will finally get the message and keep their hands off all those underage boys.

Nah.

A Central Florida teacher has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for having sex with four teenage boys.  A Polk County jury in August had found 33-year-old Danielle Jones guilty of five counts of lewd battery and three counts of unlawful sexual activity with a minor.  She was sentenced Tuesday.  Prosecutors said the boys were 14 to 16 years old when they had sex with the middle school science teacher. Two of them were her former students.

Teacher sentenced to 10 years in prison for sex with boys -- OrlandoSentinel.com

Need to Lose 9 lbs in Only 11 Days? - Learn the Secrets Behind The Idiot Proof Diet and save 50% with this secret bonus code.

Teacher Accused of Drinking on the Job - Lynn Clawges

The report does not say what kind of teacher Lynn Clawges was, but undoubtedly, she wasn't teaching kids how to hold their liquor!

Lynn Clawges is still an employee of Monongalia County Schools, according to Superintendent Frank Devono, but is not working at the school now.   A report filed by Morgantown Police officers says they responded to the school at 3:22 p.m. Monday. Principal Robert DeSantis told the officers that a teacher at the school was drunk when they arrived, the report says, and directed them to Clawges.

Officers smelled alcohol on Clawges' breath, and performed field sobriety tests on her, which she failed, according to the report. Officers found two empty Diet Pepsi bottles in Clawges' classroom that smelled of alcohol, and also discovered a full unopened bottle of the soft drink alongside a small bottle with a conditioner label on it that also had a strong alcohol odor, police reported.

SOURCE: Morgantown High Teacher Accused of Drinking on the Job - WBOY-TV - WBOY.com

Submitted by our good buddy Jay Knapp of Moundsville (above the Mason-Dixon line) WV

Morgue Worker Admits to Sex With Bodies of Young Women

Just in time for Halloween!

A man who worked at the county morgue for 16 years and is serving time for having sex with a corpse admitted today to having sex with two more bodies during his employment. Kenneth Douglas, 56, of Westwood pleaded guilty to two counts of gross abuse of a corpse before visiting Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Richard Niehaus. He could be imprisoned for a maximum of three years at his Dec. 10 sentencing.

Douglas was employed for 16 years, from 1976-1992, as a night attendant at the morgue. He told authorities previously that while there, he invited women in and partied with them with drugs and alcohol. He also admitted to having sex with bodies being stored while awaiting autopsies.  He is currently serving a three-year sentence for having sex with another corpse -- that of Karen Range, an 18-year-old murder victim who was nearly beheaded in 1982 and had been in the morgue cooler for hours.

SOURCE: Ohio morgue worker admits to sex with bodies | Detroit Free Press | Freep.com

Woman Arrested for Broadcasting Porn to Kids at Elementary School

What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. Unless, of course, you live next to an elementary school and decide to have some porn blaring on your big screen TV in the open front window. Biting and kicking a cop will also probably not help your case . . . but it will make for an interesting show for the neighbors!

A Grand Forks woman is accused of broadcasting pornography from the window of her home Friday morning, allowing the images and noises to be seen and heard from Lake Agassiz Elementary School. When police Cpl. Dylan Schauer arrived at Nicole Altendorf’s house on the 800 block of Stanford Road, he found a still shot of a pornography video displayed on a television.

“We made contact with the suspect, who was not compliant in any way,” a police report states. “She refused to come out and physically resisted. She was finally extracted by force from her entryway.”

The report says Altendorf bit Schauer’s arm and kicked him several times in the groin as he tried to put her in a squad car. Once in the car, she spit in Schauer’s face, the report states.

Employees at Lake Agassiz School, 605 Stanford Road, originally reported the loud, conspicuous pornography out of concern for students who were arriving in the morning. Employees told police “the windows were wide open on the residence, the door was open, and there was pornography playing on the TV which was in front of the window with the volume turned all the way up. The pornography was visible from the school, as well as the street,” according to the report.

SOURCE: GF woman accused of showing porn video from window, assaulting cop | Grand Forks Herald | Grand Forks, North Dakota

City Manager Resigns After Arrest in Prostitution Sting - Jim Mussenden

It's probably not a good idea to go looking for hookers if you job somehow oversees the guys in the police department.

El Monte officials said today that their city manager has resigned, one day after his arrest during a prostitution sting in Pomona.  In a 5 to 0 decision, the El Monte City Council appointed Rene Bobadilla, 38, as interim city manager to replace Jim Mussenden, 59, who had held the job since 2006. The closed session meeting today was called to evaluate Mussenden's performance after council members learned early Friday morning that he had been arrested.

SOURCE: El Monte city manager resigns in wake of prostitution sting, interim manager is named | L.A. NOW | Los Angeles Times