School Employee Arrested for DUI With .357% BAC: Four Times Legal Limit! - Anna McBride

Not exactly a teacher (according to the article, Ms. McBride is a speech and language pathologist at Princeton High School in Ohio) but certainly someone who probably shouldn't be around children, especially when she's been drinking. On the other hand, she certainly seems to be able to hold her liquor and the way some people's kids behave these days, having a snort or two might be necessary to get through the day.

Just to give you an idea of the kind of drinking it takes to get a BAC that high, according to the chart we have over at BadJocks.com, Ms. McBride--assuming she weighs about 120 lbs--would have had to have consumed between 11 and 12 drinks just in the hour before she was pulled over. And, according to our information, at around .30% BAC, many people lose consciousness, much less have the abilty to drive a car. Most are out cold at .40% and many die at that level.

A Princeton schools employee was arrested and charged over the weekend with driving a motor vehicle while having a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit. Cincinnati police seized Anna McBride’s driver’s license after she blew .357 during a test that measures intoxication levels, according to her traffic ticket. Ohio’s legal limit for driving is .08. Police pulled over her silver 2000 Toyota Avalon for weaving in the 4800 block of Reading Road in Bond Hill just before midnight Saturday, the ticket states.

McBride, 26, of Woodlawn, was charged with drunk driving and weaving. She was released from custody after being booked by police and did not spend time in jail.

Princeton schools employee drove drunk (times 4), police say | cincinnati.com | Cincinnati.Com - Thanks to reader Gary Scherrer for the link!

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Man Arrested at Airport With 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest, Wanted to Save Money on Car Insurance

Has this guy NEVER been to an airport before? They practically strip search you when you check your luggage, must less go through a security checkpoint. You'd think a moving shirt would catch someone's attention, wouldn't you?

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest. Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank's torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

Man Arrested with 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest at LAX - KTLA

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High School Boys Arrested for Groping High School Girls

Well, at least these kids aren't having sex with the teachers. But where did this groping idea get into their heads? Our guess: that damn Internet!

Five male high school students have been arrested on suspicion of sexual battery after two girls reported being groped at school.  One of the two ninth grade female victims told Poly High School officials that they had been groped on their breasts, genitals, and buttocks Tuesday at lunch, said Police Lt. Ty Hatfield of the Long Beach Police Department's Juvenile Division.

The five ninth grade boys suspected in the sexual battery case were arrested separately on school grounds throughout the week as the investigation progressed.

High School Students Arrested for Sexual Battery - KTLA

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Dumbass of the Year? Man Gestures in Court That He Wants to Kill Judge

A good defense lawyer will tell you there are lot of things to do in court to help your case. Dress appropriately, smile (but not too much), make eye contact with people, and for God's sake don't make a hand gesture that implies your going to slit the judge's throat! At right, a semi-finalist for the 2009 Dumbass of the Year Award: Michael Sampson.

A Salina man is behind bars, accused of threatening a municipal court judge and prosecutor and two police officers. Police say that 41-year-old Michael Sampson was on trial in municipal court Wednesday, accused of driving with a suspended license and littering. During the trial he allegedly made threatening gestures to Judge Brenda Stoss, Prosecutor Jennifer Wyatt, and police officers Brent Rupert and Sean Wilcox.

He is accused of pointing at Wilcox as Wilcox was testifying, and then using his right hand in the shape of a gun pointing at his head. He is also accused of pointing at all four and then making a slashing gesture across his throat.

KSALLink.com

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Kid Calls Cops After Parents Take Away XBox

Ah kids! You try to bring them up right, but that darned Internet and video games make them do stupid things. Like, call 911 when you take away their Xbox. And we're not talking about some 9-year-old dumbass here, folks. This "kid" is 15 and probably will be out looking for an after school job soon.

A Buffalo Grove teen was having fun, fun, fun until his parents took his video game system away. So the unhappy 15-year-old dialed 911 around 12:50 p.m. Sunday to complain to police about his parents confiscating his Microsoft Xbox 360 as punishment. "The Xbox caper started out as a 911 hang-up call," Buffalo Grove police Cmdr. Steve Husak said.

Police traced the call and sent an officer to the house where the teen inquired whether his parents had a legal right to take away his system. Police then "advised him that he needed to listen to his parents," police reports said.

Daily Herald | Teen calls 911 after parents take away Xbox

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Happy Woman Brings Brass Knuckles to Court, Gets Arrested - Breanna Tenai Calvin

Everyone know not to bring a gun with you when you make a court appearance, but apparently word hasn't gotten out that you're not supposed to bring a combo knife/brass knuckles with you. At the very least, this lady is enjoying her time behind bars!

Troy Police have arrested an 18-year-old Flint woman on claims she brought the weapon into 52-4 District Court this morning. According to police reports, Breanna Tenai Calvin was scheduled to appear in court regarding fine money that was owed on a prior retail fraud case.

Upon entering the courthouse, Calvin passed through a metal detector, and a deputy noticed something that appeared to be "suspicious" in her purse. Upon further search, it turned out to be a knife/metallic knuckles (aka brass knuckles) with an overall length of 9 inches, including a knife blade of 3 inches, according to police.

Woman arrested for bringing brass knuckles to court | detnews.com | The Detroit News

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Man Calls 911 Asking for Phone Sex

Dumbass! Why call the 911 operator and ask for sex? Because it's free!

It appears one Tampa man confused 911 for a 900 number after he reportedly dialed the emergency line numerous times looking for sex.  Joshua Basso, 29, is accused of making sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asking if he could come to her house.

"The caller advised the 911 dispatcher that he was in the bathroom looking for sex and continued to make several obscene comments regarding masturbation and body parts," according to a report from Tampa police. When the operator hung up on him, Basso proceeded to call back four times, police said.

Fifteen minutes after making his last phone call, police arrested Basso at his home on charges of making a false 911 call. He was taken to Hillsborough County Jail, where he he remains without bail. Basso told police "he was out of (cellphone) minutes and he called 911 because it was free."

Man Arrested For Calling 911, Asking For Sex - WPIX

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Teenaged Mom Give Birth After Burglary Arrest

Talk about working right up until the time you go into labor. The hard working ladies in the secretarial pool here at The Dumbass Daily have nothing on this hard working teenaged girl who was arrested by cops almost immediately after committing burglary (let's hope it didn't involve crawling through someone's basement window!) and then popped out the world's newest little felon.

A new mom is facing charges after police say she was arrested on suspicion of burglary just before giving birth. Police say when an officer began to investigate a car Friday fitting a description of a vehicle connected to other robberies in the Vallejo area, the officer saw a pregnant Shanae Harston come out of a house.

As the 19-year-old Harston was being arrested, police say she went into contractions. She was taken to a hospital, where she gave birth. Police say she was released pending prosecution.

Teen arrested just before giving birth - San Jose Mercury News

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Drunk Pilot Arrested at Airport as He's About to Go to Work

Drunk driving is bad enough, but drunk FLYING? Good things they nabbed this guy before he got into the cockpit.  And this wasn't some little puddle-jumper flight: this was a United Airlines flight from London to Chicago!

Police charged a United Airlines pilot on suspicion of being drunk as he was about to help fly a passenger plane from Heathrow Airport, a spokesman said. Erwin Vermont Washington, 51, was charged with "exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit" after his arrest at the world's busiest airport a day earlier, police said late on Tuesday/

Washington, of Lakewood, Colorado, was charged with "being aviation staff performing an aviation function whilst exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit," the police spokesman said.

The pilot was arrested on Monday afternoon before the plane carrying 124 passengers and 11 crew was due to depart for Chicago, Scotland Yard and the airline said earlier Tuesday.

SOURCE: 'Drunk' United Airlines pilot arrested at Heathrow - Yahoo! Canada News

HS English Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story, Being a Dumbass

Well, at least the story wasn't about HIM having sex with a student.

An English teacher from the Bronx is accused of overstepping his boundaries by sharing with his students a steamy composition about teenage masturbation.

Greg Van Voorhis, known as "Mr. V" by students at the Bronx School of Law and Finance, is accused of giving his 11th graders a graphic short story titled "Guts" written by "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk. The explicit reading centers around a teenager's masturbation habits involving things like carrots, among other items.

School officials say Van Voorhis went too far and as a result the Department of Education re-assigned Van Voorhis to an administrative office, pending the outcome of an investigation.

NYC Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story - WPIX

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Teacher Lindsey Seymour Arrested for Alleged Sex With Teen, 16

A summer fling with a student has turned into statutory rape charges for teacher Lindsey Seymour of the Alvin C. York Institute in Jamestown. Is it just more, or in the mug shot does she have one of those, "Yeah, you got me" looks?

The TBI arrested a teacher on statutory rape charges after she was indicted by the Fentress County Grand Jury. 27 year old Lindsey Seymour, of Allardt, was indicted on 8 counts of statutory rape by an authority figure. Police say the incidents between Seymour and the 16-year-old male victim all took place between June 2009 and September 2009.

WZTV FOX 17/Nashville

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Teacher Fired on First Day After Giving Out Three Different Social Security Numbers

Maybe he was just a little nervous? Or maybe he's just not good with numbers, but a teacher in Baton Rouge, LA didn't make it to lunch time before he was arrested on the job.

Damian Brown, 26, was taken into custody by East Baton Rouge Parish sheriff's deputies and charged with identity theft after officials at Scotlandville Elementary say he put three different social security numbers on his applications.

One of the social security numbers was his, another belongs to a teacher in north Louisiana and the third remains a mystery

Teacher arrested on his first day on the job - WAFB Channel 9, Baton Rouge, LA |

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Burglars Use Markers to Create Face Masks That Don't Fool Cops

Can't afford a ski mask, but want to be a professional thief? No problem! Just grab a Sharpie and start coloring in your face. The one guys looks like he was going for a Batman kinda look, doesn't he?

In Carroll, Iowa, two men -- Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller -- are accused of burglarizing an apartment. Instead of wearing masks, police say, the men apparently drew on their faces with permanent marker. Police say they had no trouble identifying the suspects when they stopped the men's car.

Crime Scene KC

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Debra LaFave Back in the News: Former Teacher Convicted of Sex With Teen, 14

We were just talking with Debra LaFave with out friends Todd 'n' Tyler on Tuesday morning. LaFave, along with Pamela Rogers, set the bar pretty high a few years ago for good looking female teachers having sex with underage young men. As the guys pointed out, the most recent crop haven't quite measured up. And now here is Debra once again, asking to be allowed contact with young people. Let's see what the judge says.

A judge is set to decide Thursday whether former teacher and convicted sex offender Debra LaFave can have limited contact with children of her family and friends.  LaFave has recently completed the sex offender therapy program she has been participating in since December 2005, according to court documents. She is asking for supervised contact with a limited number of children of family and friends; the parents of each child would have to agree.

LaFave's attorney, John Fitzgibbons, had no comment on the motion he filed Monday. A hearing is scheduled before Hillsborough Circuit Judge Wayne S. Timmerman.

LaFave, a former English teacher at Greco Middle School, was arrested in June 2004 after a woman told police that LaFave was having sex with her 14-year-old son.

LaFave wants contact with kids of family, friends

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Dumbass Burglar Drops Cell Phone at Scene, Meets Up With Cops Later to Collect It

You certainly don't have to be smart to be a criminal these days. Well, at least if you want to stay out of jail. Take this guy for example:

An Orange Cove burglar is behind bars, but it's what put him there that has Sheriff's Deputies shaking their heads.  According to Fresno County Sheriff's Deputies, 22-year-old Jesse Neri Jr. of Visalia broke into a home on the 900 block of Fourth St. in Orange Cove on Saturday.

Neri got inside the home by breaking the back window, however once inside he set off the motion detectors, which activated the home's alarm. Neri quickly fled the scene, and in the process dropped his cell phone near the broken window.

During the course of the investigation, deputies discovered the phone and were able to identify that it belonged to Neri. Officers then called Neri (not identifying themselves as deputies) and offered to meet up with him to return the phone.  Neri fell for the ruse and agreed to meet deputies near the intersection of Huntsman & Hills Valley to reclaim his phone.

Visalia Burglar Arrested After Leaving Cell Phone At The Scene - KMPH Fox 26 Central San Joaquin Valley News Source in Fresno, California Entertainment, News, Sports and Weather |

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Female Teacher Arrested for Sex With Four Male Students - Jennifer Diane Bland

As if things we're bad enough already, Jennifer "Anything But" Bland has been arrested--since this initial report--on additional charges as even more underage boys from Durand High School in Durand, Illinois bringing the total number of counts against her to 19!

A Durand Spanish teacher spends the day out of the classroom and instead in jail. Police accuse her of having inappropriate contact with four students.  Jennifer Bland, 23, faces 6 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse. A Winnebago County judge read the charges to her via video conference in court Thursday afternoon.

Prosecutors say Bland had sexual contact with four male students between the ages of 14 and 17. The first incident allegedly happened last spring; the others in September and October.

Durand teacher accused of sexual misconduct with students - WREX.com – Rockford’s News Leader

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Female Teacher Goes All "Fatal Attraction" on Boy, 17, She Had Sex With - Naomi Perez

Usually, it's the teenaged boys who want to keep having sex with the middle-aged female teachers once the affairs start. But this time, we have a female teacher who--according to the cops--was still chasing this boy more than two years after the two of them allegedly had sex in her home. This situation all came to a head this last week we the boy's car was allegedly vandalized by the teacher, Naoimi Perez.

Naomi Perez, 33, of Brea, is charged with one felony count each of unlawful sexual intercourse, oral copulation of a minor, sexual penetration by foreign object of a minor, and one misdemeanor count of vandalism, said a statement by the Orange Country District Attorney’s office.   Perez is accused of meeting 17-year-old student John Doe while working as a teacher at Saddleback High School in Santa Ana.

Between June 1, 2007, and Aug. 27, 2007, Perez is accused of having an unlawful relationship with the victim on multiple occasions in her Brea home.  Two years after the end of the relationship, Perez is accused of vandalizing the victim’s car while it was parked outside of a family member’s home by scratching and denting the vehicle.

Female California teacher accused of sex with student | VANCOUVERITE

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