School Employee Arrested for DUI With .357% BAC: Four Times Legal Limit! - Anna McBride

Not exactly a teacher (according to the article, Ms. McBride is a speech and language pathologist at Princeton High School in Ohio) but certainly someone who probably shouldn't be around children, especially when she's been drinking. On the other hand, she certainly seems to be able to hold her liquor and the way some people's kids behave these days, having a snort or two might be necessary to get through the day.

Just to give you an idea of the kind of drinking it takes to get a BAC that high, according to the chart we have over at BadJocks.com, Ms. McBride--assuming she weighs about 120 lbs--would have had to have consumed between 11 and 12 drinks just in the hour before she was pulled over. And, according to our information, at around .30% BAC, many people lose consciousness, much less have the abilty to drive a car. Most are out cold at .40% and many die at that level.

A Princeton schools employee was arrested and charged over the weekend with driving a motor vehicle while having a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit. Cincinnati police seized Anna McBride’s driver’s license after she blew .357 during a test that measures intoxication levels, according to her traffic ticket. Ohio’s legal limit for driving is .08. Police pulled over her silver 2000 Toyota Avalon for weaving in the 4800 block of Reading Road in Bond Hill just before midnight Saturday, the ticket states.

McBride, 26, of Woodlawn, was charged with drunk driving and weaving. She was released from custody after being booked by police and did not spend time in jail.

Princeton schools employee drove drunk (times 4), police say | cincinnati.com | Cincinnati.Com - Thanks to reader Gary Scherrer for the link!

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Man Arrested at Airport With 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest, Wanted to Save Money on Car Insurance

Has this guy NEVER been to an airport before? They practically strip search you when you check your luggage, must less go through a security checkpoint. You'd think a moving shirt would catch someone's attention, wouldn't you?

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest. Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank's torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

Man Arrested with 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest at LAX - KTLA

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High School Boys Arrested for Groping High School Girls

Well, at least these kids aren't having sex with the teachers. But where did this groping idea get into their heads? Our guess: that damn Internet!

Five male high school students have been arrested on suspicion of sexual battery after two girls reported being groped at school.  One of the two ninth grade female victims told Poly High School officials that they had been groped on their breasts, genitals, and buttocks Tuesday at lunch, said Police Lt. Ty Hatfield of the Long Beach Police Department's Juvenile Division.

The five ninth grade boys suspected in the sexual battery case were arrested separately on school grounds throughout the week as the investigation progressed.

High School Students Arrested for Sexual Battery - KTLA

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Dumbass of the Year? Man Gestures in Court That He Wants to Kill Judge

A good defense lawyer will tell you there are lot of things to do in court to help your case. Dress appropriately, smile (but not too much), make eye contact with people, and for God's sake don't make a hand gesture that implies your going to slit the judge's throat! At right, a semi-finalist for the 2009 Dumbass of the Year Award: Michael Sampson.

A Salina man is behind bars, accused of threatening a municipal court judge and prosecutor and two police officers. Police say that 41-year-old Michael Sampson was on trial in municipal court Wednesday, accused of driving with a suspended license and littering. During the trial he allegedly made threatening gestures to Judge Brenda Stoss, Prosecutor Jennifer Wyatt, and police officers Brent Rupert and Sean Wilcox.

He is accused of pointing at Wilcox as Wilcox was testifying, and then using his right hand in the shape of a gun pointing at his head. He is also accused of pointing at all four and then making a slashing gesture across his throat.

KSALLink.com

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Kid Calls Cops After Parents Take Away XBox

Ah kids! You try to bring them up right, but that darned Internet and video games make them do stupid things. Like, call 911 when you take away their Xbox. And we're not talking about some 9-year-old dumbass here, folks. This "kid" is 15 and probably will be out looking for an after school job soon.

A Buffalo Grove teen was having fun, fun, fun until his parents took his video game system away. So the unhappy 15-year-old dialed 911 around 12:50 p.m. Sunday to complain to police about his parents confiscating his Microsoft Xbox 360 as punishment. "The Xbox caper started out as a 911 hang-up call," Buffalo Grove police Cmdr. Steve Husak said.

Police traced the call and sent an officer to the house where the teen inquired whether his parents had a legal right to take away his system. Police then "advised him that he needed to listen to his parents," police reports said.

Daily Herald | Teen calls 911 after parents take away Xbox

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Happy Woman Brings Brass Knuckles to Court, Gets Arrested - Breanna Tenai Calvin

Everyone know not to bring a gun with you when you make a court appearance, but apparently word hasn't gotten out that you're not supposed to bring a combo knife/brass knuckles with you. At the very least, this lady is enjoying her time behind bars!

Troy Police have arrested an 18-year-old Flint woman on claims she brought the weapon into 52-4 District Court this morning. According to police reports, Breanna Tenai Calvin was scheduled to appear in court regarding fine money that was owed on a prior retail fraud case.

Upon entering the courthouse, Calvin passed through a metal detector, and a deputy noticed something that appeared to be "suspicious" in her purse. Upon further search, it turned out to be a knife/metallic knuckles (aka brass knuckles) with an overall length of 9 inches, including a knife blade of 3 inches, according to police.

Woman arrested for bringing brass knuckles to court | detnews.com | The Detroit News

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Man Calls 911 Asking for Phone Sex

Dumbass! Why call the 911 operator and ask for sex? Because it's free!

It appears one Tampa man confused 911 for a 900 number after he reportedly dialed the emergency line numerous times looking for sex.  Joshua Basso, 29, is accused of making sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asking if he could come to her house.

"The caller advised the 911 dispatcher that he was in the bathroom looking for sex and continued to make several obscene comments regarding masturbation and body parts," according to a report from Tampa police. When the operator hung up on him, Basso proceeded to call back four times, police said.

Fifteen minutes after making his last phone call, police arrested Basso at his home on charges of making a false 911 call. He was taken to Hillsborough County Jail, where he he remains without bail. Basso told police "he was out of (cellphone) minutes and he called 911 because it was free."

Man Arrested For Calling 911, Asking For Sex - WPIX

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Teenaged Mom Give Birth After Burglary Arrest

Talk about working right up until the time you go into labor. The hard working ladies in the secretarial pool here at The Dumbass Daily have nothing on this hard working teenaged girl who was arrested by cops almost immediately after committing burglary (let's hope it didn't involve crawling through someone's basement window!) and then popped out the world's newest little felon.

A new mom is facing charges after police say she was arrested on suspicion of burglary just before giving birth. Police say when an officer began to investigate a car Friday fitting a description of a vehicle connected to other robberies in the Vallejo area, the officer saw a pregnant Shanae Harston come out of a house.

As the 19-year-old Harston was being arrested, police say she went into contractions. She was taken to a hospital, where she gave birth. Police say she was released pending prosecution.

Teen arrested just before giving birth - San Jose Mercury News

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Drunk Pilot Arrested at Airport as He's About to Go to Work

Drunk driving is bad enough, but drunk FLYING? Good things they nabbed this guy before he got into the cockpit.  And this wasn't some little puddle-jumper flight: this was a United Airlines flight from London to Chicago!

Police charged a United Airlines pilot on suspicion of being drunk as he was about to help fly a passenger plane from Heathrow Airport, a spokesman said. Erwin Vermont Washington, 51, was charged with "exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit" after his arrest at the world's busiest airport a day earlier, police said late on Tuesday/

Washington, of Lakewood, Colorado, was charged with "being aviation staff performing an aviation function whilst exceeding the proscribed alcohol limit," the police spokesman said.

The pilot was arrested on Monday afternoon before the plane carrying 124 passengers and 11 crew was due to depart for Chicago, Scotland Yard and the airline said earlier Tuesday.

SOURCE: 'Drunk' United Airlines pilot arrested at Heathrow - Yahoo! Canada News

HS English Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story, Being a Dumbass

Well, at least the story wasn't about HIM having sex with a student.

An English teacher from the Bronx is accused of overstepping his boundaries by sharing with his students a steamy composition about teenage masturbation.

Greg Van Voorhis, known as "Mr. V" by students at the Bronx School of Law and Finance, is accused of giving his 11th graders a graphic short story titled "Guts" written by "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahniuk. The explicit reading centers around a teenager's masturbation habits involving things like carrots, among other items.

School officials say Van Voorhis went too far and as a result the Department of Education re-assigned Van Voorhis to an administrative office, pending the outcome of an investigation.

NYC Teacher Suspended Over Masturbation Story - WPIX

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Teacher Lindsey Seymour Arrested for Alleged Sex With Teen, 16

A summer fling with a student has turned into statutory rape charges for teacher Lindsey Seymour of the Alvin C. York Institute in Jamestown. Is it just more, or in the mug shot does she have one of those, "Yeah, you got me" looks?

The TBI arrested a teacher on statutory rape charges after she was indicted by the Fentress County Grand Jury. 27 year old Lindsey Seymour, of Allardt, was indicted on 8 counts of statutory rape by an authority figure. Police say the incidents between Seymour and the 16-year-old male victim all took place between June 2009 and September 2009.

WZTV FOX 17/Nashville

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