Drunk 4-Year-Old in Drag Steals Neighbors Christmas Presents

This one is full of fail, and we're really not sure we believe the young mother's explanation of how this happened. But we are sure the cops will never forget coming across a 4-year-old boy in a dress, drinking a beer with a stolen Christmas present under his arm!  The only thing missing from the story is the kid smoking a big cigar and driving and SUV.

Maybe next week?

April Wright is 21 years old and is going through a divorce with her husband who is in jail. She says she is not sure how her 4-year-old managed to get out of the house, open a beer, and steal the neighbors presents from under their tree. Now she's just glad he's okay and says she won't let it happen again.

The child, Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. In a police reports, officers said he was wearing a little girl's dress and drinking a beer. The police report says the child had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption.  Wright says she woke up that night at 1:45 am and panicked when she found Hayden was gone. She says she put safety devices on all the doors so her kids couldn't get out, but Hayden was able to break the safety device off the doorknob and get outside.

Once out, Wright says her four year old followed his father's footsteps and was found on Blue Spruce Road, drinking. "He runs away trying to find his father," she said. "He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that's where his daddy is."

Drunk Four Year Old Steals Christmas Presents | year, old, christmas - Local News - WTVC NewsChannel 9: Chattanooga News, Weather, Radar, Sports, Lottery

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Woman Arrested for Demanding Three-Way Sex With Couple - Anna Bambino

Some people just can't accept a "no". In this case, the "no" was probably pretty emphatic from a New Haven, Connecticut couple who were repeatedly approached by 30-year-old Anna Bambino, pictured right.

Yes, we had the same reaction.

Look, we're sure she's a wonderful person (aside from the whole demanding a ménage à trois thing) but when you gang banger and pose with a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20 on your MySpace page, it might give people the wrong impression about you. Or maybe not. Either way, the cops were called after the couple politely refused on numerous occasions and Bambino was arrested.  Interestingly, it's taken the cops since September to fully investigate this incident and bring charges. Wonder which part of this story confused them?

A city woman has been arrested after a married couple from Monroe complained that she harassed them numerous times about having three-way sex.  Anna Bambino, 30, of Pierpont Road, was charged Friday with breach of peace. She was released on a written promise to appear in Bridgeport Superior Court. Bambino called the Monroe woman six times demanding that she and her husband engage in a threesome, police said. Bambino is single, according to her MySpace.com profile.

Monroe Police have been investigating the incident since September. Bambino apparently knows the Monroe woman through a friend, but doesn't have a history with her, a Monroe police sergeant said Saturday night. When police interviewed Bambino, she admitted to making the calls and said she was intoxicated at the time.

SOURCE: Waterbury woman arrested after demanding sex with married couple, police say The Republican-American

Two Female Middle School Teachers Caught Naked in Classroom During Talent Show

Our favorite part of the story? The kids at James Madison High School in Midwood have now set up a "fan page" for the incident on Facebook! It's called "We Demand Justice (and pics) for Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro!!"  Here's the description of the group:

I'm sorry, I am not usually an activist, but when did love become a crime???????????? These two dedicated NY city teachers have been fired after they were caught naked in an empty classroom by a janitor, a janitor that I can assume was either gay or blind, or both. The janitor, henceforth known as the douchebag, ratted them out and they were quickly fired for the crime of being hot and in love. I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like an America I want to live in, not at all.

Here's more on what happened from the New York Daily News:

Two female Romance language instructors were tossed out of their Brooklyn high school after being caught "undressed" in an empty classroom, sources told the Daily News Tuesday.  Students at James Madison High School in Midwood were watching a talent show in the auditorium while Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro were speaking the international language of love, sources said.

A janitor stumbled on French teacher Mauro, 33, and Brito, 29, a married Spanish instructor, and tattled to school officials on Nov. 20. Both tenured teachers were removed from the classroom and sent to Education Department "rubber rooms" while they're investigated for misconduct, sources said. The episode is the talk of the school. Students even set up a Facebook group to discuss the shenanigans - and it already has more than 500 fans.

Language teachers Alini Brito, Cindy Mauro caught by janitor having naked romp in HS classroom

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Pre-School Teacher Accused of Relationship With Teenaged Boy, 14 - Jenifer Stitzel

Jenifer Stitzel, 34, obviously likes to be around young people or she wouldn't be teaching at a pre-school. But exchanging naughty text messages with a 14-year-old boy probably goes beyond what most people would consider "liking" youngsters. At right, Jenifer Stitzel's mug shot pictures.

Linn County detectives say an Albany female preschool teacher sent cell phone text messages with sexual content to a 14-year-old boy. Linn County Sheriff Tim Mueller says text messages were discovered by the boy's parents and reported on November 29.

"The woman is a preschool teacher at Central Valley Adventist Academy on Highway 34 near Tangent, the same school where the boy is an eighth grade student." Mueller says the investigation has revealed that in addition to the text messages, the woman and boy had kissed and had other inappropriate contact both on and off school grounds.

Police Charge Preschool Teacher with Sexually Oriented Text Messages - Salem-News.Com

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Tourist Arrested Smuggling Geckos in His Underwear: But He Did Save a Lot on His Car Insurance!

Is that a talking gecko in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? This one is strange and stupid in so many ways, but still pales compared to the Tiger Woods saga, doesn't it?

Hans Kubus, 58, was stopped at Christchurch Airport on Sunday after checking in, and was searched by customs staff. A small package containing the reptiles was found in his underwear, prosecutor Mike Bodie told the Christchurch District Court on Monday.

"The package contained eight separate compartments separating various gecko and skink species," he said. Kubus' luggage also contained a single gecko in a rolled up sock. A total of 24 geckos were found from five different species, as well as 20 skinks from two species. The German admitted trading geckos and taking geckos and skinks from the wild without a permit.

A black market trade in geckos exists in Europe and those taken by Kubus would have had a street value of around $35,850 US, Bodie said.

German tourist caught smuggling lizards in his underwear - The Local

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Girl Punished for Making Face in School Photo

Is making a face for your school picture something you should be punished for it? We think the real dumbass in this case is the school administration which chose to delete here picture from the school yearbook. Why, something to do with being "gang related." Really?

A James Madison High School student is being punished for making a funny face in her school photo. As a result, school officials have decided not to print her picture in the yearbook. 15-year-old Charlie Patton says she made a weird face because she was trying to make people smile. On photo day, she said the photographer hesitated before taking the snapshot.

"The camera girl looked at my mom and said, 'You alright with that, mom?'" Patton recalls. "My mom said, 'Sure, of course.'" But administrators didn't approve of the image. School officials are comparing her expression in her school picture to gang signs.

SOURCE: High school student is punished for making a funny face in her school photo | kens5.com | Home

Woman Arrested for Attempting to Record "Twilight, New Moon" With Camcorder

Wonder if she's just a fan of the series or thought she could make a buck by making DVDs of the movie while it was still in theaters. Who knows, but either way she was dumb enough to get caught.

A Northwest Side woman was arrested Saturday afternoon after employees at a Rosemont movie theater allegedly caught her taping portions of “Twilight: New Moon” on a digital camera. Samantha Tumpach, 22, of the 3800 block of Odell Avenue, is charged with one count of criminal use of a motion picture exhibition, a Class 4 felony, according to Rosemont police Sgt. Keith Kania.

The incident happened Saturday about 1:20 p.m. at the Muvico Theater, 9701 Bryn Mawr Ave., according to Kania. An usher allegedly saw Tumpach recording the movie and alerted management, who did not initially see the woman recording the film, Kania said. However, when they came back to investigate, they noticed she was recording the movie on a digital camera.

Woman arrested for trying to record 'Twilight' on digital camera :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

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Teacher Vandalizes Own School With Help of Seventh Grader - Brenda Rawls

From our "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time" Dept.: a Tennessee middle school teacher decided to get back at the school where she worked by enlisting the help of a seventh grader to vandalize it after hours. of course, she got got and now faces charges including contributing the the delinquency of a minor! At right, the mug shot of Brenda Rawls.

An elementary school teacher was charged Monday, Nov. 30 with allegedly vandalizing Portland East Middle School. Brenda Sue Rawls, 50, is accused of using sardine juice, condoms and lubricant to vandalize a mini-fridge, a teacher’s desk and three lockers, according to the affidavit filed in Sumner County General Sessions Court. The incident is alleged to have occurred on Aug. 16.

According to Sumner County Sheriff Bob Barker, the vandalism was allegedly committed in retaliation against a teacher that made comments about Rawls. Rawls is charged with vandalism under $500, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and criminal trespassing.

Teacher charged with vandalizing Portland school | tennessean.com | The Tennessean

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School Employee Arrested for DUI With .357% BAC: Four Times Legal Limit! - Anna McBride

Not exactly a teacher (according to the article, Ms. McBride is a speech and language pathologist at Princeton High School in Ohio) but certainly someone who probably shouldn't be around children, especially when she's been drinking. On the other hand, she certainly seems to be able to hold her liquor and the way some people's kids behave these days, having a snort or two might be necessary to get through the day.

Just to give you an idea of the kind of drinking it takes to get a BAC that high, according to the chart we have over at BadJocks.com, Ms. McBride--assuming she weighs about 120 lbs--would have had to have consumed between 11 and 12 drinks just in the hour before she was pulled over. And, according to our information, at around .30% BAC, many people lose consciousness, much less have the abilty to drive a car. Most are out cold at .40% and many die at that level.

A Princeton schools employee was arrested and charged over the weekend with driving a motor vehicle while having a blood-alcohol level more than four times the legal limit. Cincinnati police seized Anna McBride’s driver’s license after she blew .357 during a test that measures intoxication levels, according to her traffic ticket. Ohio’s legal limit for driving is .08. Police pulled over her silver 2000 Toyota Avalon for weaving in the 4800 block of Reading Road in Bond Hill just before midnight Saturday, the ticket states.

McBride, 26, of Woodlawn, was charged with drunk driving and weaving. She was released from custody after being booked by police and did not spend time in jail.

Princeton schools employee drove drunk (times 4), police say | cincinnati.com | Cincinnati.Com - Thanks to reader Gary Scherrer for the link!

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Man Arrested at Airport With 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest, Wanted to Save Money on Car Insurance

Has this guy NEVER been to an airport before? They practically strip search you when you check your luggage, must less go through a security checkpoint. You'd think a moving shirt would catch someone's attention, wouldn't you?

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest. Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank's torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

Man Arrested with 15 Lizards Strapped to Chest at LAX - KTLA

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High School Boys Arrested for Groping High School Girls

Well, at least these kids aren't having sex with the teachers. But where did this groping idea get into their heads? Our guess: that damn Internet!

Five male high school students have been arrested on suspicion of sexual battery after two girls reported being groped at school.  One of the two ninth grade female victims told Poly High School officials that they had been groped on their breasts, genitals, and buttocks Tuesday at lunch, said Police Lt. Ty Hatfield of the Long Beach Police Department's Juvenile Division.

The five ninth grade boys suspected in the sexual battery case were arrested separately on school grounds throughout the week as the investigation progressed.

High School Students Arrested for Sexual Battery - KTLA

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Dumbass of the Year? Man Gestures in Court That He Wants to Kill Judge

A good defense lawyer will tell you there are lot of things to do in court to help your case. Dress appropriately, smile (but not too much), make eye contact with people, and for God's sake don't make a hand gesture that implies your going to slit the judge's throat! At right, a semi-finalist for the 2009 Dumbass of the Year Award: Michael Sampson.

A Salina man is behind bars, accused of threatening a municipal court judge and prosecutor and two police officers. Police say that 41-year-old Michael Sampson was on trial in municipal court Wednesday, accused of driving with a suspended license and littering. During the trial he allegedly made threatening gestures to Judge Brenda Stoss, Prosecutor Jennifer Wyatt, and police officers Brent Rupert and Sean Wilcox.

He is accused of pointing at Wilcox as Wilcox was testifying, and then using his right hand in the shape of a gun pointing at his head. He is also accused of pointing at all four and then making a slashing gesture across his throat.

KSALLink.com

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