Dumbass Walks Into Elementary School, Asks Kids for Their Urine

How bad would you have to need clean urine to be crazy enough to walk into a grade school and ask some stranger children for their urine? Apparently, pretty bad.

A teenager has been arrested for allegedly trying to buy urine from school boys.  Kevin Duron, 18, is accused of walking into a restroom at Pacific Elementary School last week and offering two boys several dollars to urinate in a cup, Manhattan Beach Sgt. Brian Brown said.  The boys refused his request.

Duron was initially arrested on suspicion of annoying or molesting children, but prosecutors did not charge him with that or anything in connection with the actual request he made to the children.  Prosecutors said Duron's request was not sexual in nature and did not warrant the stronger charge. He would have had to register as a sex offender if convicted of a sex offense. Brown said it's believed Duron was trying to collect urine to pass drug tests.

Police: Man Tries to Buy Boys' Urine, Gets Arrested - latimes.com

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Female Teacher, 39, Accused of Molesting Boy, 14

Another female teacher, another sex scandal with a student. Is there something in the water? At right, the mug shot picture of Tammy Clinton, a middle school geography teacher.

A middle school teacher accused of molesting a student has bonded out of jail, and has been suspended with pay.  Tammy Clinton, 39, was arrested Thursday. She was charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious molestation, and two counts of lewd and lascivious conduct.  The sixth-grade geography teacher at Farnell Middle School has been accused of forcing a 14-year-old boy to touch her breasts while she fondled him on school grounds.

News of her arrest spread quickly among students.  “As soon as I went home, it was all over Facebook,” said eighth-grader Kathleen Newell. “I got several phone calls about it. Everyone knew about it already.”  Parent Luisa Newell said the school acted quickly.  “The principal called us right away to notify us, to let us know the teacher had been arrested and no other students were involved,” she said.  The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said on two other occasions, Clinton also tried enticing the boy to meet her off school grounds to commit other sexual acts. He instead reported it to an adult.

Teacher Accused Molesting Teen Suspended With Pay- Central Florida News 13


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"High" Airline Passenger Messed With Wrong Flight Attendant: She's a Black Belt!

Want to double up on your dose of "medical marijuana"? Best not to get a airplane and then walk out of a bathroom with your pants down, lest you get in the face of a flight attendant who will take you down, dude!

A San Francisco man, accused of forcing a flight to divert because he was high on medical marijuana, picked the wrong flight attendant to freak out on.  Lorin Gorman of Chula Vista is a fourth-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Those skills may have averted a serious situation in the air.   US-Air flight 1447 was on its way from Philadelphia to San Francisco.

Gorman, 51, says she noticed Kinman Chan, 30, early in the flight. "He was looking back at me, waving hi," Gorman said of the man in seat 17-C.  But soon enough, the passenger became aggressive, Gorman says. "He's banging around, screaming in the back bathroom, he's opened all the compartments," the attendant remembers. According to a criminal complaint, Chan walked out of the bathroom with his pants down.  "I said, ‘You need to sit down now’,” Gorman said.

He did not. "He went like that with his elbow," Gorman said, bracing her wrist as she threw an elbow at shoulder height. "Well, what I did, I just put him in an arm lock. To get his other arm, I had to jump up on the seat … He was resisting. He was stiff. At that point, I just put him into a choke hold."

He Messed With the Wrong Flight Attendant | NBC San Diego

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Sledder, 62, Injured When Homemade Rocket Strapped to Back Explodes

In some respects, you'd think someone close to retirement would know better. Then again, if you've been a dumbass all your life, maybe you would strap a homemade rocket to your back to try and sled faster. Who knows?

A 62-year-old sledder looking for a burst of power got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body. Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe said the man, whose identity hasn't been released, was hospitalized in stable condition Monday.

The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called "a rocket-launch effect."

The device blew up as the man headed downhill, causing second-degree burns to his face and right side of his body and possible eye damage.

Sledder, 62, hurt when improvised rocket blows up - Yahoo! News

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Father of the Year? Drunk Dad, 37, Found in Car With Drunk Daughter, 15

There are some things you do want to share with your kids: alcohol is NOT one of them.

A 37-year-old man is in jail after Minneapolis Police found him and his 15-year-old daughter drunk in a church parking lot around 10 p.m. Wednesday night.  Christopher Lee Swickard, of Minneapolis, was spotted inside a running vehicle in the lot with his teenage daughter at the intersection of Nicollet and Franklin.

Police said as they approached, Swickard tried to drive away but officers told him to stop. Inside, they found the two trying to hide an open bottle of vodka.  Police said both were obviously intoxicated. Swickard's blood alcohol content was nearly .40 -- five times the legal limit, according to police. His daughter blew a .10.  Police arrested Swickard and issued an underage drinking citation to his daughter. The girl was also taken to Hennepin County Medical Center.

Police Find Man, 15-Year-Old Daughter Drunk - wcco.com

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New York Teacher Turns 4th Grade Classroom Into Fight Club

For some people, today's classrooms are too clean and well managed for the antics of regular boys. But to turn one into a boxing ring to allow two 4th graders (aged 9 and 10) to settle their difference? That takes a special kind of dumbass to pull that one off.

A Queens teacher turned his classroom into a boxing arena for two feuding students, telling the boys to settle their beef with their fists as their stunned classmates watched the bizarre spectacle, authorities said yesterday.  And to make sure no one found out his twisted teaching technique, the instructor, Joseph Gullotta, 29, allegedly supplied the kids with excuses for the nurse to explain away any injuries.

In one corner was a 10-year-old. His opponent was a year younger. The Post is withholding the kids' names.  Before beginning the match at the impromptu fight club at PS 65 in Ozone Park, Gullotta instructed a girl to close the classroom door. He ordered the rest of his pupils to back up and make way for the battle, Queens DA Richard Brown said.

The two combatants came out swinging and then began wrestling.  During the bout, the older boy's head rammed into the younger one's mouth. The younger boy suffered a cut lip; the older one, a bruised head.  "When two fourth-graders became involved in a verbal dispute, their teacher allegedly told one of the students that he should 'take it out' on another student," Brown said.  "When parents send their children off to school, their teachers have an obligation to provide a safe environment for them."

Teacher was kids' brawl monitor: DA - NYPOST.com

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"Highly Intoxicated" Actor Rip Torn Arrested in Bank With Loaded Revolver

Wow, this guy is one hell of an actor, but he also is a hell of a boozer. Drunk and in a bank in the middle of the night? Sounds like something out of a bad movie, but we're sure there's a logical explanation.

Actor Rip Torn, 79, was arrested Friday night on charges of burglary and criminal trespassing after officials allegedly found him carrying a loaded revolver inside a bank in Salisbury, Conn., according to the Register Citizen newspaper. A police report published on TMZ.com states that Torn used “forced entry” to get inside the bank and was “highly intoxicated” when taken into custody. The actor is being held on a $100,000 cash bond and is set to appear in court on Feb. 1. A rep for Torn did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Rip Torn arrested for alleged bank break-in | EW.com

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Woman Reports Dog Bite to Police, They Search Home to Find Drugs & Guns

How often have we seen this one: someone calls the police over something minor (or stupid) only to have the cops show up and find out they are the ones involved in criminal activity? Add Delcina Hochstetler to the list. Hockstetler was being treated for a dog bite when she told cops some story about her dog being hit by a car, biting her and then dying. Police went to look for the dog's body only to find him alive and Hochstetler's home full of guns (17) and drugs. Wonder if that explains why she didn't come up with a better story?

Delcina Hochstetler, 50, of Gleason was arrested Tuesday on charges of possessing a firearm as a convicted felon and possessing drug paraphernalia, according to the Lincoln County Sheriff's Department.  Hochstetler told officers who responded to the Good Samaritan Health Center in Merrill that her dog bit her after it was hit by a car and later died, according to a police report.

When officers arrived at the home later, they found the dog injured but still alive. While at the home, officers saw firearms and evidence of drugs.  After receiving a warrant and conducting a search Tuesday, officers found 17 firearms and hundreds of items used to consume methamphetamine and marijuana.

Woman arrested after dog story | wausaudailyherald.com | Wausau Daily Herald

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In Touch: Angelina Jolie Having Affair With Teacher

Yes, before you think it was a teacher of one of her kids, the story goes on to say that it was a DIALECT coach on her new movie, Salt. So, apparently, she has to speak with a salty accent. Arggh!

Maybe Jolie just wanted to spice things up in her marriage. Ha!

Sorry, we'll stop there.

ANGELINA Jolie has been getting some seriously kinky action in the bedroom department if the latest reports are to be believed. And none of it involves the actress’ partner, Brad Pitt.  According to In Touch Weekly magazine, Angelina cheated on Brad with one of the dialect coaches she worked with on the set of her movie Salt.

Anna Kowalski, a housekeeper who worked extensively with the family on their numerous visits to the Waldorf-Astoria in New York, says she walked into Jolie’s room and saw Jolie’s bed strewn with sex toys.

Angelina Jolie ‘Cheated on Brad Pitt With Teacher’ | Showbiz Spy - celebrity news, rumors & gossip

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Man Urinates on $600 Worth of Steak at Wal-Mart (But You'd Pee on $750 Worth at Other Stores!)

Well, that spoils a perfectly good lunch now doesn't it? Just what was this guy trying to prove? That he has some beef (so to speak) with Wal-Mart and/or cows? And if so, what kind of statement could he make at 1:30 in the morning when no one's around? Even PETA knows you have to pull a PR stunt in the middle of a busy shopping day. No, more likely this guy just noticed that the level of the meat cases was just about the same height as a urinal and then . . .

Robert T. Jenkins, 21, of Canton, Ohio, was arrested at 1:30 a.m. local time on Friday morning, Lt. Linda Brown of the Canton Police Department told Fox8.com. Jenkins was charged with felony vandalism and disorderly conduct.

Jenkins was arrested after police responded to a call from an employee at the Wal-Mart store telling authorities that a man walked up to the meat counter and began urinating on the steaks, police told Fox8.com. The disorderly conduct destroyed more than $600 dollars in meat.

Police have not commented on whether alcohol or drugs played a role in Jenkin's actions, the site reported.

Ohio Man Arrested on Charges of Urinating on $600-Worth of Steaks - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News - FOXNews.com

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Pictures: The New and Improved Heidi Montag 3.0

Didn't realize that a plastic surgeon could give you a vacant, airhead look, but apparently anything is possible these days in Hollywood. Perhaps it's less the work of a cosmetic surgeon and more the work of a brain surgeon. Click here to see all the blank stare pics.

British Man Arrested for Threatening to Blow Up Airport on Twitter

Used to be, you couldn't make jokes at the airport about bombs and high-jacking planes. Now, don't even think about Tweeting that kind of nonsense. Better yet, maybe if we all stop flying that will take care of this whole problem, right?

British police have arrested a man for making a terror threat after he allegedly joked on Twitter that he would blow up an airport.  South Yorkshire Police say they arrested 26-year-old Paul Chambers on Jan. 13 on suspicion of communicating a bomb hoax.  Chambers allegedly posted a message on the social networking site saying he would blow northern England's Robin Hood Airport "sky high" if his flight was delayed.

He has been bailed pending further investigation.

The Canadian Press: British man arrested for terrorism after joking on Twitter that he would blow up airport

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