Lindsay Lohan Wants $100 Million for "Milkaholic" Baby Commerical for E-Trade

What's the quote from the movie "Forrest Gump?" Stupid is as stupid does? Maybe that should be changed to "Stupid is as Lindsay does!"

The "Crash and Burn" Lohan Express continues to chug into the station. The latest example? Lindsay is suing the folks at E-Trade (you know the ones with the cute talking baby commercials?) because she has the nerve to think that a recent spot talking about a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay was somehow a shot at her. Even if it was honey (and we doubt it was), your stupid lawsuit will only draw MORE attention to the alleged slam.

Let's hope the judge in this case not only throws the frivolous lawsuit out, but that the hits Lindsay Lohan up for court costs and a fine for being stupid. How would you like to be her lawyer on this case?

On a serious note: The Dumbass Daily can neither confirm nor deny vicious rumors that the lawsuit would have been filed sooner but Ms. Lohan was too drunk and/or drugged up to sign it.

If somehow you missed the original commercial--or would just like to see it again--the video is below.

Lindsay Lohan filed a lawsuit Monday against financial giant E-Trade for its commercial about a "milkaholic" baby she claims is named for her -- and wants $100 million for pain and suffering, reports the New York Post. The actress filed papers in Nassau County Supreme Court over the 30-second spot that opens with a boy baby apologizing to his girlfriend for not calling the night before. "That milkaholic Lindsay wasn't over?" she asks. A lawyer for Lohan says she's a one-name celeb just like Oprah or Madonna, and that the commercial is a "subliminal message."

Reliable Source - Celebrity justice: Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade over 'milkaholic' in talking baby commercial

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Hot Ballet Teacher Sarah Pirie "Abducts" Male Pupil, 15, and Takes Him to Hotels for Sex

Maybe this is one of those American/Great Britain differences when it comes to word usage, but typically the only ones who get "abducted" multiple times over several months to have sex are the hillbillies who get picked up by UFOs for probing. If you're a 15-year-old boy taking ballet classes and your hot 27-year-old teacher keeps taking you to hotels for sex on the sly, we would hardly consider that an abduction . . . more like a Penthouse Letter.

At right, the only picture we've been able to find so far of Sarah Pirie. If you come across a "better one" please drop us a line at DumbassDaily at GMail.com.

A ballet teacher allegedly abducted a male pupil and had sex with him during a three-month affair.   Sarah Pirie, 27, who has choreographed stage shows across Britain and has appeared in TV soaps Hollyoaks and Waterloo Road, is accused of taking the boy, aged 15, to hotels where she seduced him.

Yesterday Scots-born Pirie, formerly of St Annes, Lancashire, appeared before magistrates in Blackpool in relation to the claims. She faces five charges of intentionally sexually touching the boy, who is training to be a ballet dancer, but cannot be named for legal reasons.

Banker's daughter Pirie, formerly a teacher at a dance school on the Fylde Coast, is alleged to have taken the teenager to hotels in Manchester for sex. She is accused of committing the offences between March and June last year and is also charged with abducting the teenage pupil from Blackpool on one occasion in May.

Female ballet teacher 'abducted teenage pupil and had sex with him' | Mail Online

Thanks to reader Terra for the link!

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Teacher Melinda Dennehy Accused of Sending Naked Pictures, Naughty Texts to Male Student, 15

Here's a tip for all the middle-aged female teachers out there looking to hook-up with the underage high school stud: You send him one naked picture, and you have sent it to every boy (except that geeky freshman no one likes) in the school. EVERYONE! And those naughty texts saying you'd perform a certain sex act on him? Seemed like a good idea when you were sending it, but now it will likely be used against you in court. You ladies--and you know who you are--either need to get a little more tech savy or cougar hunt someone old enough to vote.

The latest teacher to need a good lawyer is one Melinda Dennehy, 41, who used to teach at Londonderry High School near Boston.

A Londonderry high school teacher repeatedly offered to have sex with one of her students and also e-mailed nude photographs of herself that ended up circulating among students at the New Hampshire school, according to police. Melinda Dennehy, 41, is charged with one count of indecent exposure for allegedly e-mailing the nude photograph of herself to a 15-year-old student, according to a police affidavit released today.

Earlier this week, staff at the school learned from students that "an inappropriate picture(s) of a female teacher were being distributed throughout the high school by the students,'' the affidavit says."This picture has been identified by co-workers to be that of Melinda Dennehy.''
Dennehy was placed on paid administrative leave on Wednesday when information about the photographs surfaced, triggering a separate investigation by the school department, said Londonderry School Superintendent Nathan S. Greenberg.  "We will conduct our own investigation and we will take any action deemed warranted by our findings,'' he said.

According to the police affidavit, Dennehy e-mailed four photographs of herself to a student within the past two months. Dennehy also allegedly sent text messages to the same teen. "In some of those messages, Dennehy told (the teenager) that she wanted'' to perform a sex act on him, police said in the affidavit.

N.H. teacher charged with sending nude photos to student - Local News Updates - MetroDesk - The Boston Globe

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Music Teacher Arrested for 4th DUI, Heads Right Back to Class

Ah, your tax dollars at work! Look, we're all for giving people second chances and realizing that everyone slips up once and a while, but your fourth arrest for drunk driving and you're still teaching children? Let's hope the kids aren't caught singing Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar" or Brad Paisley's "Alcohol" in class today. (videos below for your enjoyment.)

A middle school music teacher has been arrested for driving under the influence. The arrest happened on Sunday after a Sarasota deputy was approached by a citizen who was concerned about a man they thought was extremely drunk. The person told the deputy "he was all over the road and going to kill someone."

The deputy found the suspect, Ronald Jodwalis, parked very close to the gas pumps at the BP station, eating what appeared to be a yellow wrapper.  Jodwalis told the deputy that he was very drunk and repeated that he was drunk for about every question he was asked.  The arrest affidavit states that Jodwalis is a music teacher at Venice Middle School.

The deputy noted that the suspect was slurring his words, his eyes were bloodshot and he had trouble standing. The deputy also noted that when he opened the door, he was overcome with a pungent odor of alcohol.

Teacher arrested for DUI for 4th time, back in class today | Tampa Bay, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Sarasota | WTSP.com 10 Connects

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Boston Cops: Thousands Scammed in Fake Bridal Show

Want to get married in Boston? Keep your hand on your wallet!

Boston police say thousands of brides-to-be and wedding vendors have been scammed by a Web site advertising a fake Boston bridal show.  Police said Monday that a site called "The Boston 411" invites new brides and potential vendors to a non-existent Spring Home and Bridal Show at the Hynes Convention Center this weekend.  Police said about 6,000 individuals and vendors have paid and signed up with the Web site promising elegant wedding displays, demonstrations and samples. The site has now been taken down.

Authorities got wind of the scam after vendors began calling the convention center, asking when they could come in and start working on their exhibits. Wedding photographer Aram Orchanian says he lost nearly $3,000 he paid to attend the show and to produce promotion material for the show.

Police: Fake Boston bridal show signs up thousands - Boston.com


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HS Agriculture Teacher Accused of Improperly Trying to Plant His Seed

We've profiled lots of teachers on this site, accused of having "inappropriate relationships" with students: gym teachers, science teachers, French teachers, math teachers. But today, we report our first arrest of an "agriculture science" teacher at a high school in Texas. Now, don't get us wrong, we're all for harvesting crops from the land and working the fields, but in this case, it appears someone was attempting to plant his seed in a field that wasn't ready for plowing yet. At right, the mug shot of the accused, Ryan Staton Hufford.

A McKinney North High School teacher has resigned after district officials were made aware of an alleged "inappropriate relationship" with a student. McKinney ISD said it learned of the incident involving Ryan Staton Hufford, 28, on Monday, and immediately reported it to McKinney police.

Hufford, resigned during the investigation. He was booked on the second-degree felony charge on Wednesday. Hufford was an agriculture science teacher and advisor to the Future Farmers of America chapter at McKinney North, which has an enrollment of 1,450 students.

McKinney teacher arrested for improper relationship with student | Dallas - Fort Worth News | wfaa.com | Crime

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Band Teacher Arrested for DUI on Way to School! - Jillene Elliot

Lord knows we wouldn't want to be stuck in a classroom all day with your brats. And if we were, we might take up drinking . . . but hopefully not BEFORE school. That would ruin a perfectly good beer buzz, wouldn't it?

Jillene Elliott, 41, the band teacher at Spanish Fork Junior High, was taken into custody around 9:30 a.m. last Tuesday in Springville after another driver on Main Street reported her to officers. Springville police Lt. Dave Caron says police made a stop for a traffic violation on Center Street and Elliott appeared "out of it." "You'd say something to her, she'd open her eyes, maybe answer, then she'd sit and close her eyes, then you'd ask her to do whatever it was again, she'd open her eyes," Caron told KSL Newsradio Monday. "You had to keep going, trying to get her to talk."

Officers say Elliott wasn't able to walk alone. "When she did finally get out [of the car] she had to hang on to the door to keep her balance," Caron said. "The officer actually had to help her over to the sidewalk to keep her from falling."

ksl.com - Band teacher to face the music for DUI arrest

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It's good to know that there are San Diego DUI Attorneys who are experienced in drunk driving defense and who gets results.

New Mayor of Olympia, WA Arrested on Marijuana Trafficking Charges

Dude! This guy isn't even in office yet and he's already been arrested. That must be some kind of record. Then again, it is Washington state . . .

Olympia Mayor Pro Tem Joe Hyer has been arrested for investigation of marijuana trafficking. Sheriff's detectives said Hyer, 37, was arrested on Thursday following a month-long undercover investigation by the Thurston County Narcotics Task Force.  A tip from a concerned citizen prompted the investigation, during which Hyer sold marijuana to a police informant on two separate occasions, investigators said.

Hyer was booked into the Thurston County Jail under investigation of unlawful possession of a controlled substance, unlawful distribution of a controlled substance and unlawful use of a residence for drug purposes. He posted bail on Thursday night and was released.

Olympia mayor pro tem suspected of drug trafficking | KOMO News - Breaking News, Sports, Traffic and Weather - Seattle, Washington | Local & Regional


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