Mother of the Year Arrested for Driving High, Wrecklessly, With Baby on Board

What fond memories this kid will have some day! Mom, taking her for a Sunday drive in the car (while high, allegedly) driving through three "road closed" signs, crashing into a mountain of gravel before abandoning her.  I get all choked up just thinking about it. At right, Maggie Noelle Reisig's mug shot photo.

Maggie Noelle Reisig, 21, appeared by video from the county jail on a felony charge of criminal endangerment and misdemeanor counts of DUI, drug possession and possession of drug paraphernalia. Judge Pro Tem Brandon Hartford set bond at $25,000 and ordered Reisig to appear Thursday for arraignment in District Court.

According to court records, Reisig was arrested Saturday after officers were called at 11:40 p.m. to a one-vehicle crash in a closed portion of Grand Avenue between Zimmerman Trail and Shiloh Road. A state trooper said he had to drive around three road closed signs to reach the crashed car, which was sitting on top of a gravel mound. The trooper determined the car had struck a gravel embankment and vaulted about 30 feet before landing on the mound.

Reisig was found at a nearby house and told the trooper she had become lost while looking for a friend’s house. The woman’s 5-month-old baby was in the car at the time of the crash but was not injured.

Pot-smoking driver charged after wreck


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Rep. Hank Johnson Fears Guam Might "Capsize" if US Adds 5000 Marines to Island

You have to give a lot of credit to that General for not laughing at Congressman Johnson's suggestion.

DumbassDaily Update: "Horndog High" Teachers to Be Charged With Misconduct

Remember the two female teachers caught having sex by a janitor doing a school assembly?  Well it sounds like the school system is going ahead with charging them misconduct.

The "Horndog High" teachers might want to dust off their résumés.  The city Education Department is gearing up to charge the two Brooklyn romance language teachers with misconduct, four months after the Daily News reported they were busted naked together in an empty classroom.

Married Spanish instructor Alini Brito, 30, and French teacher Cindy Mauro, 34, were yanked from James Madison High School last November after a janitor barged in on them and reported the apparent tryst.  Department of Education officials said Tuesday that an investigation into the tenured pair substantiated the allegations, setting them up to be punished.

"They face disciplinary action," spokeswoman Margie Feinberg said, but would not provide any further details about the incident.  The steamy Nov. 20 incident took place while the rest of the school was in a talent show in the auditorium.  It sent shock waves through the Midwood high school, which was dubbed "Horndog High."

'Horndog High' teachers Alini Brito, Cindy Mauro to be charged for alleged lesbian tryst

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Female Teacher, Virginia Ann Homberg, 45, Charged for Sex With Boy, 14 for Two Years

According to cops, this wasn't just a one time affair: they say that Virginia Ann Homberg, 45, had an inappropriate relationship with a teen-aged boy starting more than two years ago when the kid was only 14.

A former Garden City High School teacher has been charged with having sexual contact with one of her male students.  Virginia Ann Homberg, 45 of Saline was arraigned Monday afternoon before 21st District Court Judge Richard Hammer Jr. on two counts of criminal sexual conduct – first degree, a felony punishable by up to life in prison; two counts of criminal sexual conduct – third degree, a felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison, and distributing sexually explicit visual material to a minor, a felony punishable by up to 2 years in prison.

According to the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office, Homberg is charged with having sexual contact and sending sexually explicit pictures to the student. The conduct took place at the school and at the victim’s home on several occasions from December 2007 through February 2010.

Ex-Garden City teacher charged with sexually assaulting student | hometownlife.com | the Observer & Eccentric Newspapers and Hometown Weeklies

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NY Couple Busted in Pudding Scam: Ripped Store Off for $14,00

This is either a brilliant scam or the stupidest thing that we've ever heard of. Somehow, we wonder if Bill Cosby and his pudding pops had anything to do with this?

The proof was in the pudding.  An elderly Long Island husband and wife were busted yesterday for tampering with boxes of Jell-O pudding -- replacing the contents with sand and salt and then returning them to stores for the $1.40-a-pop refund, officials said.

Alexander Clement, 68, and his wife, Christine Clement, 64, of East Northport disposed of the evidence afterward -- by cooking up and eating the contents of the boxes they had emptied, authorities said.  Their puddings of choice? Pistachio and butterscotch.

Police said the couple struck four stores a total of five times. Christine would buy about 10 boxes each time. Her hubby was the driver.  When the pair got home, she allegedly would empty the boxes' contents and replace them with plastic sandwich bags filled with the sand and salt.

After resealing the boxes, her husband would drive her back to the stores, where she would return them for a refund, police said.  The scheme fell apart after a customer who bought one of the resealed boxes complained. Police traced the boxes back to the Clements.

Elderly Long Island couple arrested for tampering with Jell-O pudding - NYPOST.com

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Drunk Man Arrested for Trying to "Revive" Dead Road Kill Oppossum

You thought you were drunk the last time you partied? You got nothing on this guy.

A man has been arrested after police discovered him drunk on the side of a highway, allegedly attempted to ‘revive’ a dead opossum that had been hit by a car.  Police say 55-year-old Donald Wolfe was desperately trying to save the very dead creature after a long night of drinking.  It was not clear whether or not he had been driving intoxicated and hit the opossum, or how it was he was attempting to resurrect it, but there were several witnesses.

Man Arrested After Drunken Attempt To Revive Roadkill | ChattahBox News Blog

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Sheriff's Deputy Arrested for Sex With Prisoner While at Hospital

You want to know the worst part of this story? According to some reports we've read, it was the female prisoner who reported the sheriff's deputy for having sex with her while she stayed overnight in the hospital.

Let's hope she wasn't there to be treated for an STD.

A Fairfax County Deputy Sheriff was arrested after an investigation determined he allegedly was engaged in unsuitable contact with a 25-year-old female prisoner. Police detectives determined the 25-year-old female prisoner was admitted as a patient at a local hospital. Sheriff's deputies maintained guard duty over her during her stay. Throughout the night on Monday, March 8, leading into the early morning on March 9, a deputy sheriff and the prisoner allegedly engaged in sexual acts.

Police obtained a warrant, and on Monday, March 22, the Sheriff's Office arrested Deputy James Lee Heinz, 36. He was charged with carnal knowledge of an inmate, a class six felony.

Sheriff's Deputy Charged For Inappropriate Contact With Prisoner

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Teacher Fired for Encouraging Students to Punch 5-Year-Old Boy

An eye for an eye? How about a punch for a punch? Some might agree with that logic, but for a teacher to encourage some of her young students to hit a five-year-old boy who had punched a classmate? Yeah, that'll get you fired, even from a private school.

A private school in Houston says a teacher has been fired for encouraging students to hit a 5-year-old boy who had punched a girl. Robindell Private School Director Chuck Wall says the incident happened during a field trip to a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in the Houston suburb of Sugar Land last week.  Wall told the Houston Chronicle that the boy "has repeatedly beat up kids" at the school. He also said the teacher was the second one fired in six weeks for allowing another student to hit the boy.  The boy's mother told the newspaper that she has withdrawn her son from the school.

School: Texas teacher told kids to punch student | AP Texas News | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle


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Substitute Teacher Accused of Indecent Exposure, Urinating in Classroom, Not Following Lesson Plan

The details of what exactly substitute teacher Matthew "Nature Boy" Davis did in the classroom at Cesar Chavez High School, but whatever it was, it's resulted in not one, but 15 felony charges, including five for lewd and lascivious behavior.

A substitute teacher was arrested Monday morning in Delano after being investigated for indecent exposure. Delano police were called to Cesar Chavez High School around 10:30 a.m. after there was a reported incident of indecent exposure. The Delano Police Department has arrested 59-year-old Matthew Davis, who is a substitute teacher.

Some students reported seeing Davis urinate in the classroom, though the DPD has also received reports that contradict those allegations as well. Sgt. Jerry Nicholson with the DPD said there was probable cause to arrest Davis, whose bail was set at $650,000 according to the sheriff's booking information.

Substitute Teacher Arrested On Indecent Exposure Charges - Bakersfield News Story - KERO Bakersfield

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HS Teacher, 37, Faces 35 Sex Charges

Only 35? Not 37, to match his age? That would have been such poetic justice, wouldn't it? Okay, well this all involves the teacher and not one, but four underage high school girls.

An Oregon high school teacher and coach is facing 35 sex charges involving four teenage girls.
An Umatilla County grand jury in Pendleton indicted 37-year-old Kevin Mathew Nice on charges that included sodomy, unlawful sexual penetration and sexual abuse.

Police arrested Nice without incident Friday in Union County. He was being held at the Umatilla County Jail in Pendleton.  Prosecutors say Nice had sexual contact with four high school-age girls Nice knew as a teacher and coach at Pilot Rock High School. The incidents alleged in the indictment occurred from September 2007 through November 2009.

Oregon high school teacher faces 35 sex charges - NewsFlash - OregonLive.com

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Dude! Tennessee State Medical Examiner Arrested on Marijuana Charges

From out "What Was He Thinking?" Files:

The Tennessee state medical examiner's career is in jeopardy and some of his biggest cases under scrutiny after Mississippi investigators uncovered a package of marijuana addressed to him and more of the drug in his hotel room.  Mississippi, Tennessee and Metro Nashville suspended contracts for forensic work done by Bruce Levy's two companies after his Tuesday arrest in Ridgeland, Miss., on felony marijuana possession charges. Levy, 49, was due to collect $3.8 million this year from Metro alone through Forensic Medical Management Services.

He posted bond Wednesday and retained Nashville attorney David Raybin, who said his client had no comment.  Defense attorneys who have encountered Levy wonder what the arrest could mean for his past findings. His most recent high-profile ruling was in the death of 12-week-old foster child Cherokeewolf Deidrich. Levy said his death was due to natural causes after doctors at Vanderbilt's children's hospital said Cherokeewolf's injuries weren't accidental.

State medical examiner arrested | tennessean.com | The Tennessean


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Woman Arrested for Attacking Sister With Toilet Lid

Quick, what's the mental picture you got when you first saw the headline? One woman attacking another with a white, horseshoe shaped object, right? When you go to the story, that's exactly what you see: a picture of a toilet SEAT. Now granted, it's not something you want to get any closer to than you have to, but it's no where near as heavy or hard as a porcelain toilet LID, the thing that covers the top of the water tank. That would be more like getting hit with a brick . . . and certainly a lot harder to wield around, if you ask me.

Iowa City Police have arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her sister with the lid of a toilet tank.  Nitasha Johnson of Iowa City was arrested early Sunday. She's charged with domestic abuse assault causing injury and interference with official acts.  According to police, Johnson removed the lid and hit her sister during a fight. Authorities say the sister suffered an injured foot and finger.

Toilet Lid Attack

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Hot Teacher, Amy Victoria Beck, Turns Herself in for Sex With Boy, 14

Well, THAT doesn't happen very often, now does it? A female teacher who's having sex with an underage male student actually goes the cops and confesses to the crimes before she's caught. Maybe America does have a conscious after all? Or maybe someone threatened to turn her in if she didn't either way, this one is a new twist on what is becoming an old story. At right, a picture of Amy Victoria Beck.

A 33-year-old Burbank middle school teacher accused of having sex with a teenage male student over a six-month period last year was charged on Tuesday with unlawful sex with a minor, MyFoxLA.com reported. Amy Victoria Beck, a teacher at David Starr Jordan Middle School, appeared in Burbank Superior Court Wednesday. She did not enter a plea and her arraignment was scheduled for March 25.  Beck has been charged with four counts of unlawful sex with a person under 16 and one count of oral copulation with a person under 16, according to the District Attorney's Office.

She did not make bail and remains in the custody of the Burbank Police Department. If convicted, Beck faces up to seven years in state prison, officials said. "We’re still trying to piece everything together, what happened, where, what kind of sex acts, how many, and how long it’s been going on," Burbank police Sgt. Robert Quesada said, according to The Burbank Leader. "She walked in with her attorney...and said, ‘Hey, I came to surrender for what I did.'"

SOURCE: Calif. Teacher Turns Herself in After Alleged 6-Month Relationship With Student - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News - FOXNews.com

Lindsay Lohan Wants $100 Million for "Milkaholic" Baby Commerical for E-Trade

What's the quote from the movie "Forrest Gump?" Stupid is as stupid does? Maybe that should be changed to "Stupid is as Lindsay does!"

The "Crash and Burn" Lohan Express continues to chug into the station. The latest example? Lindsay is suing the folks at E-Trade (you know the ones with the cute talking baby commercials?) because she has the nerve to think that a recent spot talking about a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay was somehow a shot at her. Even if it was honey (and we doubt it was), your stupid lawsuit will only draw MORE attention to the alleged slam.

Let's hope the judge in this case not only throws the frivolous lawsuit out, but that the hits Lindsay Lohan up for court costs and a fine for being stupid. How would you like to be her lawyer on this case?

On a serious note: The Dumbass Daily can neither confirm nor deny vicious rumors that the lawsuit would have been filed sooner but Ms. Lohan was too drunk and/or drugged up to sign it.

If somehow you missed the original commercial--or would just like to see it again--the video is below.

Lindsay Lohan filed a lawsuit Monday against financial giant E-Trade for its commercial about a "milkaholic" baby she claims is named for her -- and wants $100 million for pain and suffering, reports the New York Post. The actress filed papers in Nassau County Supreme Court over the 30-second spot that opens with a boy baby apologizing to his girlfriend for not calling the night before. "That milkaholic Lindsay wasn't over?" she asks. A lawyer for Lohan says she's a one-name celeb just like Oprah or Madonna, and that the commercial is a "subliminal message."

Reliable Source - Celebrity justice: Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade over 'milkaholic' in talking baby commercial

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