Hot Teacher Pleads Guilty to Sex With Underage Boys, Will Likely Only Get 45 DAYS in Jail, Won't Have to Register as Sex Offender - Marla Gurecki-Haskins

As some of you may recall, we reported earlier this year that Marla Gurecki-Haskins was the Special Ed Teacher Accused of Giving Special Head. That was back in May. Now, it turns out, Ms. Gurecki-Haskins has plead guilty to her crimes and will likely spend a whopping 45 days in jail. No, wait a minute, according to her lawyer it might actually only be 30 days. And that registering as a sex offender thing that most male teachers get tagged with for life? Nah, she doesn't have to worry about that either.

Who is this woman's lawyer? He's a freaking genius if he can pull this off, and we will plan on hiring him for any legal work we EVER need done. Hands down, best lawyer since those guys who got O.J. off.

Is there any doubt left in anyone's mind that there is a double standard at work in these types of cases? A man accused of having sex with three underage girls would be shot, hung, and then electrocuted in the village square. But not Ms. Gurecki-Haskins. 30 days in jail and three years probation. Wow.

The Canandaigua Academy teacher accused of having sex with a student was in court Monday morning with her attorney to accept a plea deal.  Police say 37-year-old Marla Gurecki-Haskins used a cell phone to entice a male student to engage in sexual conduct. She was also accused of having sexual contact with another student.

As part of today's plea deal, Marla Gurecki-Haskins pled guilty to one count of endangering the welfare of a child and one count of official misconduct.  Police say last April, Gurecki-Haskins used a cell phone to invite a 16-year-old student to engage in sexual conduct and also used other electronic communication to get in touch with another 16 year old. Additionally, police say Gurecki-Haskins had sexual contact with a 17-year-old student in the classroom during the school day.

Defense attorney Matthew Parrinello said, “She'll get concurrent sentences of 45 days shock probation which means she will get a 45 day county jail sentence of which she'll do 30 days and then she'll come out and she'll be on three years probation.

Gurecki-Haskins attorney also tells us she will not have to register as a sex offender.

www.WHEC.com - Former Canandaigua Academy teacher pleads guilty to endangering the welfare of a child

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Teacher's Assistant, 53, Claims She Had Sex With Own Grandson, 15, to "Remove Sexual Demon" From Him - Toni Stowers-Moore

You know, even at a site called The Dumbass Daily, there are stories that still shock and surprise. Take this teacher's aid in Durham, North Carolina. She is not only accused of having sex with an underage boy (a pretty common occurrence in the teaching and coaching profession these days), but it turns out the boy is also--allegedly--her own grandson!

Oh, but it gets better, dear readers.

To make matters worse, the cops say they have phone recordings of Toni Stowers-Moore claiming she had to have sexual relations with the boy to "remove a sexual demon from him - and to protect others he might try to hurt." Now, if true, that's really f*cked up, even by our low standards. Of course, now Stowers-Moore is saying it was rape, but no one seems to believe that story.

Toni Stowers-Moore, 53, is charged with statutory rape/sex offense in which the defendant is six years older than the victim, incest with a child, and sexual battery. Detectives said the boy was 15 when it happened.

Prosecutors say they have phone recordings between Stowers-Moore and her relatives that captured her confession. She allegedly claimed sex with the teen was the only way to remove a sexual demon from him - and to protect others he might try to hurt.

But now, her story has changed.  "Now she says it was rape. But prior to this point, it has been a consensual sexual act that she did as some kind of religious sacrifice to save her other innocent people," explained Durham District Attorney Tracey Cline.

Cline said prior to her arrest, Stowers-Moore was employed as a teacher's assistant with Durham Public Schools.  "It's bigger than just this child. This is a lady that works in the school system as a teacher," said Cline.

Prosecutor: Former teacher had sex with grandson | abc11.com

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Grade School Kids Taken to Hospital After Mistaking Mace for Cologne

It's official: our kids are getting dumber.

My favorite part of the story is when the superintendent officially states that getting maced was NOT, we repeat NOT part of the curriculum at the school. Really? You need to tell us that officially?

Three students from Cambridgeport School were taken to the hospital on Thursday morning after they mistook a bottle of pepper spray for a bottle of cologne.  “I think it was mainly the sort of closing-up sensation of the throat, the itchiness or the burning in the eyes,” said Cambridge School Superintendent Jeff Young. “I would imagine it was very scary for them.”

Cambridge Police responded to the scene after four students who are 8 or 9 years old found a can of pepper spray on the playground while heading into school.

One of the kids sprayed the three others, two girls and a boy, in the face.

“It’s certainly nothing to do with the school curriculum, I can tell you that. I’m assuming that somebody last night or the day before was in the community or in the neighborhood, dropped a can of it there. The kids did not bring it to school with them. They found it on the playground as they were walking into the building,” said Young.  The superintendent said that while it was just an accident, it could also be a teachable moment.

WHDH-TV - 3 kids hurt in pepper spray incident at Cambridge school

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Man Named Butt Arrested for Performing Lewd Act in Front of Woman

Is this a new way of attracting women that we don't know about? Apparently it worked so well that he tried it a second time.  Then again, with the last name of Butt, this guy probably never had a chance.

City police also arrested John Butt, 28, of the 100 block of Lark Street, in connection with two incidents that took place Aug. 31.  Detectives arrested Butt on Friday and charged him with two counts of public lewdness and one count of criminal trespass.

Butt allegedly knocked on front and back windows of a woman's apartment in the 80 block of Lark Street, and when she came to the rear window, police say, he exposed himself and performed a sex act.  Approximately a half hour later, police say, Butt allegedly exposed himself and performed a sex act in front of another female outside a home in the 100 block of Second Street.

Two men charged with lewdness - Times Union

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Woman Arrested After Trying to Bring Gun, Taser Disguised as Cell Phone, Into Courhouse

Don't you just hate it when you go to court and forget that they don't allow you to bring guns (or stun guns disguised at cell phones) into the building. But, we should cut this lady a break: she was only carrying a little .38 in her purse. Anyone could overlook something like that, right?

Ecreia Laki Perez is being held on $6,000 bond after she was arrested Tuesday afternoon. Perez tried to enter the Fulton County Courthouse but was stopped after her bag went through the security checkpoint’s conveyor belt, a Fulton County Sheriff’s spokeswoman said.

A Fulton Sheriff’s deputy noticed the .380 gun as well as a stun gun – disguised as a mobile phone – in Perez’s bag, spokeswoman Tracy Flanagan said. Perez told authorities she forgot she had the two weapons in her bag.

Cops: Woman tries to bring stun gun disguised as cell phone into courthouse  | ajc.com


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Your Tax Dollars at Work: Principal Accused of Having School Furnace Installed at Home by District Employee

Now why didn't you and I think of that? We need to replace the furnace at home, but instead of paying one for ourselves, just take one home from work and have somebody from the company install it. Brilliant!

Just another in a long line of corrupt officials with the Detroit Public Schools. Here's two of the latest examples:

Gwendolyn Miller, 58, former principal at Randolph Career and Technical Center, faces two felony embezzlement charges. She is accused of using school money and personnel to install a furnace in her home, among other purchases.

The former bookkeeper at Randolph, Eugenia Holimon, 47, faces six felonies, including one count of conducting a criminal enterprise. She is accused of using school funds to make 13 mortgage payments from 2006 to 2009, worth $29,408, on a Detroit home.

Ex-DPS principal, cop, others charged in spending spree | freep.com | Detroit Free Press

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Secret To Make Your Ex Return Your Call?

Got this email today from a relationship expert who GUARANTEES he can help you get your ex back.

Not sure what to think, but he does have some interesting advice on getting your ex to at least return a simple phone call . . .  and you know how hard THAT can be sometimes.

Hi,

Are there 'magic' words you can use  to get your ex to return your phone calls?


Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex
feel almost compelled to return your call.


Cool huh?...


I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get
from the over 35,000 subscribers just like you that are trying to put their relationship
back together.


So I am going to answer..."How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"


BUT...



***********
WARNING!

***********


In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay out a complete strategy.

Click here if you made up your mind and you want your ex back now!

If you use this technique alone, without an 'overall' plan or strategy...you may
damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

****************
What NOT to Say!
****************

Before we get into the actual words, let's go over what message almost NEVER works.
and worse...

Puts you in an AWFUL 'psychological' position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like

"John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

And the EMERGENCY-

"Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches?
So, I won't go on and on...

************************************
How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest
To Your Advantage
***********************************

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are

*Curiosity &
*Self Interest

And here's the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work 'magic'

So...
Let's look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:

"Hi John. It's Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person."

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now...

Before you call you need to do the "Set Up"...which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing...but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly...

************
2nd WARNING!
************

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out in the Magic Of Making Up System BEFORE you call.

Click here if you made up your mind and you want your ex back now!

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more
DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is...

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your  call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN!==Click here if you made up your mind and you want your ex back now!

Rooting For You,

T Dub

Cops Say Drunk Woman Trashed Jail Cell, Tried to Flash Them Her Breasts - Farrah E. Pierce

You know, sometimes you can tell a lot from a mugshot, sometimes not. This is one of those cases where the picture is worth a thousand words. At right, the mug shot of one Farrah E. Pierce of Rhode Island who was arrested by police in a rather convoluted set of circumstances. Basically, it sounds like her friend was arrested at a mall for shoplifting and while the cops were questioning that gall, Pierce allegedly walks up all drunk, demanding her car keys. The cops say no way, go call a friend to drive you home. So Pierce makes a call, but the guy who shows up is--according to the cops at least--less of a friend and more of a paid escort, so no deal. So they take Pierce into custody and then things really get wierd: she starts cursing and yelling and making sexually suggestive comments to the cops, and at some point allegedly tried to show off her breasts. And the fun didn't stop at the jail where they caught Pierce on camera urinating on a bench, flooding the cell and wiping toilet paper all over the walls.

And after all that, she has the nerve to smile like that in her mug shot? Damn.
(Bonus: below is a picture taken from her Facebook page. Double Damn!)

Farrah E. Pierce was taken to the police station, where she urinated in her jail cell, flooded the toilet and smeared wet toilet paper on the walls and a door, police said. She was charged with disorderly conduct and wanton and malicious destruction of property, according to a police report filed in Framingham District Court.

Earlier Saturday, police arrested Lauren P. Tiernan, 21, of 90 Whittier Road, Providence, at 8:08 p.m. and charged her with shoplifting of property worth more than $100 and giving police a false name.  At 8:50 p.m., Pierce walked up to several officers at the mall and said she needed her car keys from Tiernan, according to the report filed in court by Officer Kenneth J. Fitzgerald Jr.

The officers refused to give Pierce the keys because she was obviously drunk, Fitzgerald wrote.
The officers told Pierce if she had a sober friend they could take the car. Pierce called someone on her cell phone, and a few minutes later a man came, but he did not know her name and she only knew his first name.

"After some brief discussion, it was apparent that Pierce was most likely an escort and that the male party was most likely a 'John,' and not a suitable or safe person to release her to in her state of intoxication," Fitzgerald said in the report.

Police decided to take Pierce into protective custody. On the way to the station, she made sexually suggestive statements to the officer.  At the station, Pierce "started making vulgar remarks, yelling, swearing and attempting to expose her breasts," Fitzgerald said.

Once in her cell, Pierce continued yelling and swearing. Officers saw her, on video, climb onto the cell bench and urinate on the bench and floor. She also flooded the toilet and wiped the toilet paper on the walls and doors.

Natick Police say drunk R.I. woman trashed jail cell - Framingham, MA - The MetroWest Daily News

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Man Uses One Phone Call From Jail to Call Wife, Threaten to Kill Her

The legendary "one phone call from jail" used in may movies and TV shows to make the hero decide who deserves that one chance to win his or her freedom. In all of those instances though, we never recall a guy--arrested for domestic violence--using that one call as an opportunity to contact his wife and threaten to kill her, right in front of the cops!

You would think even a drunk would know better to do that. But apprently not Janusz Owca of suburban Chicago who now not only faces charges of aggravated domestic batter, but also felony intimidation.

And being a total dumbass.

Owca's wife told police her husband came home drunk Sunday evening and pulled her hair and choked her. She fled with her children. When an officer arrived, Owca told the officer: "I'm going to [expletive] you up," police said.  He was soon put up against a wall and arrested. When he got to the lockup, he made the call, warning his wife he would kill her when he got out of jail, sheriff's police said.

Man calls wife calls from jail, threatens to kill her: cops :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Chicago Crime

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Dumbass Triple Crown Winner: Woman Arrested For Driving While Using Sex Toy, Watching Video, Having Crack Pipe in Car

You can't make this stuff up. We have a new leader in the clubhouse for Dumbass of the Year.

Cops in Elmwood Place (Ohio) pulled a female driver over for a simple "equipment violation." What they found was unbelievable: her pants were undone and she admitted using a sex toy while driving. Not only that, she had been watching a video (no word if it was porn or not, but what do you think?) on the computer her passenger was holding. To top things off, there was also a crack pipe in the car . . . which might explain stupid moves #1 and #2 above, but we have never heard of crack being an aphrodisiac, have you?

Not surprisingly, the woman arrested, Colondra Hamilton, has a lengthy criminal history. Really?

It was likely the most unique traffic stop two police officers from Elmwood Place police have ever had. Officers pulled over 32-year-old Colondra Hamilton for an equipment violation on Aug. 17 around 7:30 p.m. in the 200 block of Township Avenue in Elmwood Place.

Officers found Hamilton to have her pants unbuttoned with a female sex toy in her lap. She told officers she had been using the toy while driving, as well as watching a video on a computer her passenger was holding. It is not clear what the nature of that video was.

Hamilton was also found to be in possession of a broken crack pipe.

SOURCE: Driver arrested after officer finds her distracted by adult toy during traffic stop
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Bride Arrested for DUI on Way Home From Bachelorette Party, on Way to Own Wedding

This is why you don't have your bachelor party--or in this case a bachelorette party--the night before your wedding.

Didn't any of you see The Hangover?

A 31-year-old Bellevue woman was arrested early Saturday on supicion of DUI just hours before she was to walk down the aisle, according to the State Patrol.  The woman was pulled over just after 6 a.m. after a trooper spotted her weaving in and out of her lane and driving at more than 90 mph on northbound Interstate 405 near Northeast Eighth Street. The woman told the trooper she was heading home from her bachelorette party in Issaquah and was getting married that afternoon in Burien.

The woman admitted she had been arrested once before for DUI and said she was familiar with the routine, the State Patrol says. Her blood-alcohol level was measured at .146, nearly twice the legal limit in Washington.

The Blotter | Bellevue bride busted for DUI hours before wedding | Seattle Times Newspaper

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