The Dumbass Daily: News From the Shallow End of the Gene Pool

yo everybody, i am a 12 year old vergin and i have...

2012-02-20T16:50:13.504-05:00

yo everybody, i am a 12 year old vergin and i have only had 1 girlfriend and that was in kinder garden so i dosent really count. i am kind of fat but a lot of the girls ot my school are atracted to me... who knows why? well none of them are brave enouf to say that they like me. can anyone tell me why some of the girls at my school like me even thow i am kind of fat??

How good? Like, REALLY good, or just good? Im 12 a...

2012-02-20T16:41:15.805-05:00

How good? Like, REALLY good, or just good? Im 12 and all the other girls in my class say it is good.

What most people don't know is that pepper spr...

2012-02-20T15:56:36.673-05:00

What most people don't know is that pepper spray has a special black light dye so suspects can later be identified. I bet he glowed like a Christmas tree after all that.

Sex is ok, just not at school, honesly i really wa...

2012-02-19T04:49:27.464-05:00

Sex is ok, just not at school, honesly i really want to have sex, but me and my girlfriend never have time, we did it once it really is great, but I only like the making out part;D

I am twelve too, and I believe that students shoul...

2012-02-19T04:42:11.172-05:00

I am twelve too, and I believe that students should be able to show love for each other just not in the way they did it.

The boy should be given an Immediate eye test, if ...

2012-02-17T17:32:47.244-05:00

The boy should be given an Immediate eye test, if he passes they eye test, He should be keelhauled(preferable the keel should have lotsa barnacles on :D)
It is my honest belief that the lad has less vision than Ray Charles :(

Go dad go. If it had been my daughter, I would ha...

2012-02-17T15:31:05.191-05:00

Go dad go. If it had been my daughter, I would have done the same although likely with my 40 ton press.

especially on websites no one reads...

2012-02-15T23:37:30.836-05:00

especially on websites no one reads...

Enough with the "she's getting off easy b...

2012-02-15T21:05:32.590-05:00

Enough with the "she's getting off easy because she's a woman" already. We get it.
Men who commit sex crimes have a much higher repeat rate, are more violent, and often make greater sociological impacts on their victims. Just saying.

Dang she can put a hickie on my neck anytime!!

2012-02-15T21:03:38.742-05:00

Dang she can put a hickie on my neck anytime!!

Makes solid point in paragraph 1 only to lose all ...

2012-02-15T18:56:25.402-05:00

Makes solid point in paragraph 1 only to lose all credibility in paragraph 2.

With other younger kids

2012-02-15T17:06:16.903-05:00

With other younger kids

Well,At least he learned something.

2012-02-15T17:03:17.037-05:00

Well,At least he learned something.

Did he died?

2012-02-15T15:30:22.159-05:00

Did he died?

Can we be consistent here? If the aide was a male,...

2012-02-15T14:19:42.057-05:00

Can we be consistent here? If the aide was a male, he'd be in jail and the female student would be the "victim", not a participant.

People who post "first" are assholes.

2012-02-15T12:58:19.155-05:00

People who post "first" are assholes.

But he's a boy, and apparently the rules are d...

2012-02-15T12:16:22.140-05:00

But he's a boy, and apparently the rules are different for boys. Men get severe jail time for cases like this, and apparently boys should be jailed as well.

I bet she'll get off with probation.

Or they just want to have sex with a good looking ...

2012-02-15T12:09:33.594-05:00

Or they just want to have sex with a good looking female.

14 year old boys pretty much ONLY think about having sex. They have near constant erections even at inopportune times. If this was a per-pubertal boy then I would definitely have an issue with it. But the boy appears to have engaged the Aide who obviously made a bad mistake due to our current law structure.

rape implies that there is a vicitm. The 14yo got...

2012-02-15T11:25:12.862-05:00

rape implies that there is a vicitm. The 14yo got exaclty what he wanted. That kid is now a legend in the school

You sound Fat

2012-02-15T11:14:59.870-05:00

You sound Fat

Apples and oranges my friend. Rape != statutory r...

2012-02-15T10:33:56.042-05:00

Apples and oranges my friend. Rape != statutory rape. It's ridiculous that non-coerced consensual behavior is criminalized. Rape is rape, and what makes it so is that one person forces themselves on another who is unwilling or unable to consent. I don't buy into a 14 year old kid not knowing how to tell an adult they don't want to do something. Teens tell adults all the time they

Not saying we should be convicting kids of consens...

2012-02-15T10:28:11.865-05:00

Not saying we should be convicting kids of consensual sexual acts like we do adults, but we normal parents DO teach even our little ones how to say no and tell an adult about the incident. A 14 year old is very capable of making some sound decisions, and in this case is very capable of saying no. Fact is, kid didn't want to say no. In this case, there should be repercussions for the kid as

That's rich. Anonymous, you must have too much...

2012-02-15T10:25:14.665-05:00

That's rich. Anonymous, you must have too much free time to concoct these stories. Of course it's illegal, but if the kid was a willing participant, he should get something out of it as well.

This wasn’t the first time an Onion article was mi...

2012-02-15T09:59:36.056-05:00

This wasn’t the first time an Onion article was mistaken for real. It’s the internet, there are literally millions of web sites out there. You cant expect everyone to know all of them. The first time I read an article on The Onion I thought it was serious too.

you're wrong

2012-02-15T09:42:30.987-05:00

you're wrong